


Whatever We Become

by matteo-shreibner (alimacbrux)



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, High School, M/M, Skam France - Freeform, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Twin AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alimacbrux/pseuds/matteo-shreibner
Summary: In Lucas' final year of high school before he has to face the real world, he comes across the new identical twins Eliott and Leo. Needless to say, Lucas falls head over heels for both of them.Or The twin au absolutely no one asked for





	1. I do not have a type

It was the start of Lucas's last year of school and of course, everyone was busy chattering away about the upcoming school year. Only a few more agonising months and they would be free from this prison cell, released into the wilds of university and job searches. 

Frankly, Lucas was terrified. He had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, hardly any support from his family and no real passions or desires. Sure, he liked some classes a bit and got relatively good marks in most of them, but on the whole, there wasn't much going on. He was trying very hard to just compartmentalise the ever-looming dagger of his inevitable future.

Currently, Lucas was lying across one of the foyer couches, feet in Yann's lap and his laptop settled on his chest. Admittedly, it was a bit of an awkward angle, forcing him to curly his neck up at an unnatural angle to see the screen, but he didn't have a mind to care. Meanwhile behind him, Basile was sitting on the arm rest, scrolling rather furiously through his phone, eyebrows knitted together in deep concentration. 

From his place on the floor, leaned against the couch, Arthur turned around to look up at the other boys. “Did you guys hear about the new guys?” he asked, voice edging with his usual tone of ‘I have gossip to tell you’. The other three boys shook their heads, pausing whatever they were doing to look at Arthur. “Just joined our year. Two new guys.” 

“What, in our last year? That's weird,” commented Yann, pushing down the lid of his laptop halfway. 

Arthur shrugged. “It gets even weirder: they're twins,” he said, raising his eyebrows excitedly. “Completely identical. It's almost scary, like the Shining or something!” 

“Do you know anything else about them or just that they exist?” Lucas deadpanned, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. He wouldn't be surprised if Arthur had only heard this from listening in on other people's conversations. He had a bit of a habit of doing so. 

Arthur slapped his arm, rolling his eyes. “Not really, but I know they're definitely your type, Lulu,” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, a slight smirk playing on his lips. This earned him a hearty middle finger from the other boy. 

Lucas had come out just a few months ago, near the end of their last school year. It had been a bit of a mess at first, filled to the brim with miscommunication, suggestive search histories and general awkwardness and confusion. Classic teenage drama and the likes. 

“I do not have a type,” Lucas whined. 

At the same time, Yann leaned forwards and said, “What do they look like? I bet they're adorable.” 

“Oh, fuck off, all of you!” Lucas exclaimed, sitting up and pulling his feet out of his best friend's lap. “You're a bunch of children, I swear to God,” he grumbled. 

“Don't worry my dears, you won't have to look much further. There's one of them now,” Arthur said, eyes suddenly focusing in on the entrance to the foyer. 

Curiosity getting the best of him, Lucas turned his head to see the boy that entered the room. Almost instantly, like some cliché movie, Lucas sucked in a breath at the sight of the boy. 

He was drop dead gorgeous. 

The boy was intimidatingly tall with perfectly coiffed brown hair and sharp cheekbones. As he smiled at his friends on his way in, a gorgeous smile practically split his face open. He carried an aura of confidence, red backpack slung casually over one shoulder. As if sensing Lucas's stare, he turned his head towards him and, to Lucas's heart's delight, nodded in greeting. 

_Calm down, he literally just nodded at you _Lucas chastised himself.__

__“I see he _is _your type! You're practically eye fucking the poor guy!” Arthur's exclamation promptly ripped Lucas out of his reverie, finally forcing him to look away from the boy as he settled in one of the chairs with a few of the more popular guys and girls. _Damnit. _______

______“I'm not eye fucking him, Arthur. I was just _looking _at him,” Lucas insisted, systematically turning his body away from the other side of the room, forcing the attractive stranger out of his line of sight. “I'm not attracted to every guy I see, asshole,” he added, shooting a challenging look at his friend. Arthur rolled his eyes, turning back to scrolling through his Instagram feed.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Suddenly, the bell for next period went off, ringing deafeningly loud from just over Lucas’s head. Almost faceplanting, Basile leaped to his feet, stumbling slightly over his untied laces and exclaimed rapidly, “Well, boys, I’ve got to head to French now. See you guys later!” Before any of the other boys could say or do anything else, Basile was sprinting out of the foyer, black school bag bouncing off his shoulders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The remaining three boys exchanged equally confused looks with each other, starting to get up from their spots to head to their next lessons. “What on earth was that about?” Yann asked, looking where Basile had left with a bewildered look, blinking in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Arthur shrugged, slinging one of the straps of his own bag over his shoulder. “Did he seem unusually quiet to you?” Arthur asked as they made their way towards the exit. “Maybe he was possessed or something. I swear the guy hasn’t gone two minutes without talking since he had the ability.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________As they pushed their way into the crowded corridors of students, Lucas threw one last look over his shoulder at the new boy. He was also getting to his feet, though he was paying no mind to Lucas, laughing about something one of his friends was saying. Hurrying to catch up with the other two, Lucas wondered distantly how the guy already had so many friends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He also wondered where his twin was…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________◇_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The next day, Lucas made his way into his Math lesson at a sprint, panting heavily as he pushed the door rather violently open. He had somehow managed to oversleep his alarm, causing him to miss his bus to school and forcing him to wait for the next one. Looking towards the sudden slamming sound, everyone in the class turned to gawk at Lucas as he stumbled inside, breathing heavily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“S-sorry, Mr. Bernard. I missed my bus…” Lucas mumbled breathlessly, face flushed a vibrant shade of scarlet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just sit down, Mr. Lallemant,” Mr. Bernard said in a gruff voice, eyeing Lucas suspiciously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucas nodded, looking around frantically for an empty seat. 17 pairs of eyes peered at him curiously, none of them particularly familiar or friendly. Except a certain pair belonging to a familiar boy near the back of the class. One of the twins was sitting alone at one of the pairs of desks, grey eyes settled on him as he leaned back in his seat. He nodded at Lucas, flashing a brilliant white smile._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Feeling uncomfortable under the judgemental stares of his peers, Lucas shuffled over to sit next to the other boy, seeing as there weren’t any other empty seats left. As Mr. Bernard got back to droning on about the syllabus, Lucas plopped his backpack on top of the desk, dropping into the seat beside the other boy. Half listening to his teacher’s speech, Lucas started unpacking his bag, feeling an odd sensation of being looked at._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Lucas turned to the side, startling slightly as he made eye contact with the new boy. His heart skipped a beat and he was forced to swallow hard, mouth going dry. The boy-Lucas really needed to learn his name-seemed to be studying Lucas, head tilted somewhat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The other boy held out his hand and whispered, “I’m Leo. I recognise you from yesterday in the foyer.” Leo. Lucas played the name over and over in his head, taking Leo’s hand to shake. It felt weirdly formal._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Lucas.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Leo pulled his hand away, nodding and turning his attention towards the front for a moment. “Lucas and Leo. Epic pairing,” Leo pointed out with a breathy chuckle. All Lucas could do in response was bob his head up and down, swallowing hard again. He was turning into a cheesy school girl, eyes glued to the other boy’s face like it was magnetised. _He’s just a boy, Lucas. No need to get so worked up about it. _“It sounds like some American sitcom or something,” Leo continued.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And what would be the plot of said American sitcom?” Lucas asked, raising one of his eyebrows. If he didn’t know any better, Lucas would say he was trying to flirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Leo shrugged, opening his mouth to reply before being interrupted by their teacher clearing his throat. “No talking back there, boys,” Mr. Bernard stated monotonously, staring down Lucas and Leo with a piercing stare. “As I was saying, in unit two…” Lucas instantly zoned out of his teacher’s droning, turning back to Leo._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I bet we’d solve mysteries or something. We’d be the best friends that fought crime together and then got drunk at a bar together,” Leo replied lowly, leaning closer so that his mouth was only a few inches away from Lucas’s ear. It was almost suggestive, sending a chill all the way down Lucas’s spine and making the hair stand up on his neck. “Or some comedy about us sharing a flat and wreaking havoc on our poor, unsuspecting neighbours,” he added, grinning broadly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Not long after, the bell for second period went off, breaking their conversation short, much to Lucas’s great dismay. He just managed to keep from sighing in exasperation. Just._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Swiftly, Leo zipped up his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder. He patted Lucas’s shoulder, smiling and saying, “See you around, Lucas.” With one final nod of the head, Leo joined the rest of their classmates’ departure and disappeared out of the classroom._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stunned, Lucas touched his shoulder and watched the students file out in a daze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Lucas was, in all senses, absolutely fucked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. You're Eliott, right?

Almost a week into the school year, Lucas still hadn’t seen Leo’s alleged twin brother. Though he now knew his name was Eliott, Lucas knew absolutely nothing about this mysterious twin. 

However, he was slowly building a friendship with Leo as the days passed. They sat together every math lesson still, chatting almost nonstop and generally ignoring their teacher’s lessons. Whenever they passed in the halls, Leo threw Lucas a signature grin and a nod of the head, along with the occasional ‘Hello.’ Each time this happened, Lucas was momentarily winded, barely able to choke back another greeting as he tried to stumble along the corridors. 

On the second Friday since school started, Lucas was sitting alone at one of the lunch tables, waiting for the rest of the boys to arrive from the lunch queue. He was feebly picking at his lunch, trying to decipher what it actually was when he overheard his name being called from behind him. Dropping his fork onto the tray, Lucas turned in his seat, grinning as he saw Leo wandering over carrying a tray. 

“Hey, Lucas. What’s up?” Leo asked as he got nearer, smiling warmly. 

“Uh, just eating lunch I guess.”

 “I can see that,” Leo replied with a smirk, looking over Lucas’s shoulder at the tray of food sat in front of him. “Listen, I’m throwing a party tonight. You up for coming? You can bring your friends.” So busy gawking up at his crush, Lucas hadn’t even noticed his friends’ arrival at the table. They all eyed Leo curiously, sitting down around Lucas. 

Lucas stumbled for something cool to say in reply, finally landing on, “Y-yeah. Sure. Awesome.” He mentally slapped himself in the face. _Real fucking eloquent, Lucas_ he thought. Lucas cleared his throat. “I’m down for that. That sounds cool.” 

Leo grinned impossibly wider, grey-blue eyes shining. “Brilliant. I’ll send you the address and then I’ll see you-and your friends-at 9,” he explained, looking around at Basile, Yann and Arthur. And with that, Leo spun on his heel and headed over to join his friends on the other side of the cafeteria. 

As soon as he was out of ear shot, the other three boys rounded on Lucas, slapping and jostling him excitedly. 

“I didn’t know you were friends with one of the new guys! You’re one step closer to your first boyfriend!” Arthur exclaimed, punching Lucas in the shoulder and looking across the room over his shoulder. 

Lucas groaned, kicking Arthur’s shin under the table. “He’s not gonna be my boyfriend, Arthur. And I don’t even like him,” Lucas shot back, scowling and stabbing his fork into his soggy salad. 

“Which one was that again, anyway? Leo or Eliott,” Basile asked, picking up a forkful of shredded carrots. 

“Leo,” said Lucas instantly, “I still haven’t seen his brother Eliott. He must not be very social or something.” Shrugging, Lucas took a bite of his salad.

Arthur leaned over the table. “I heard he’s the reason they came here in their last year. They had to transfer here after something Eliott did,” he explained, “Someone even said he got _expelled._ ” Lucas raised his eyebrows in alarm, blinking back at his friend in bewilderment. “Just ask Emma. She’s the one who told me.” 

“Expelled? Surely not,” commented Yann, looking over his shoulder at Leo and his friends. 

Arthur shrugged exaggeratedly, sitting back in his chair and digging into his meal. Basile shook his head, swallowing some of his carrots. “I don’t think he was expelled. I have History with him and he seems pretty nice. I doubt he’s the type to go and get himself kicked out of school,” he stated, shaking his head. He shovelled in another mouthful of carrots and added, “There’s gotta be some other reason.” 

“Maybe we’ll find out at the party tonight?” Lucas suggested after a few minutes of just eating in silence. Arthur nodded, reaching across for the water jug. 

“One thing’s for sure, Eliott will probably be at the party tonight.”

◇

A few hours later, Lucas was crammed into the corner of the living room, nursing his second bottle of beer and watching others dance and stumble around the room together. Someone had thrown a red sheet over all the lamps, washing the room in a bright red glow while a disco ball cast blinding white strobe lights across the walls and ceilings in erratic patterns. A generic dubstep song was blasting over some speakers, making the whole room shake like an earthquake. Beside him, Basile was leaning against the wall, holding his own drink and staring across the room at Daphné and Manon bouncing around the dance floor together and laughing. On the other side of the room, Yann was flirting with a first year girl with waist length blonde hair and an extremely short red skirt. 

Lucas sighed, knocking back some more beer. If he was being honest, Lucas really wasn’t having a great time. He could feel a migraine starting to form from the noise and the flashing lights.

And even worse, Leo was currently on the dance floor, intertwining with a girl wearing booty shorts and a lace crop top, tongue half shoved down his throat as her hands wandered over his torso. Lucas’s stomach flipped at the sight, alcohol sloshing uncomfortably in his stomach. Watching as Leo whispered something to the girl and promptly pulled her out of the room, Lucas downed the rest of his beer in less than a second. He elbowed Bas in the side and shouted over the music, “I’m gonna get another round!”

Basile gave him a thumbs up, still oggling Daphné. Rolling his eyes, Lucas pushed himself off of the wall and began pushing his way through the crowd in search of the kitchen. He weaved his way through the crowd, muttering apologies until he finally reached where he was looking for. The kitchen was blissfully void of any people and Lucas smiled, tossing the bottle into the bin that was slowly accumulating bottles and searched around for another few bottles. 

Behind him, the door to the kitchen creaked loudly as it opened. Lucas spun around to see who it was, almost falling over as he saw a semi familiar face. Standing in front of him, for the first time ever, was Eliott Demaury.

“Hey,” Eliott greeted, giving Lucas a tiny smile. Though he was technically identical to his brother, Eliott seemed completely distinct from his brother. He carried himself differently and he was good inch taller, dressed in all black. Not to mention his hair was a riot compared to the other boy’s. It was like looking at an alternate version of Leo.

Lucas nodded. “Hey,” he said, peering over at the taller boy, “You’re Eliott, right?” 

The other boy didn’t reply for a moment, pushing past Lucas and opening up the fridge. He reached in and pulled out two beer bottles and finally said, “Already heard about me then?” Eliott replied, offering Lucas one of the bottles. “Those are the shitty, cheap ones,” he explained, gesturing to the beers set in an ice bucket in the corner, “These ones are actually good.” He turned away, bringing the bottle down sharply towards the counter and popping off the cap with ease. 

“Oh yeah?” Lucas replied, eyes wide as he watched Eliott’s movements. Eliott smirked, raising an eyebrow and tipping a bit of his beer back. 

Eliott placed his drink down on the counter beside him and reached one of his hands out towards Lucas. “Here, lemme get that for you,” he asked, glancing at the bottle in Lucas’s hand. Before Lucas could protest, Eliott pried the drink from his grasp, turned and popped the lid off on the counter edge yet again. Handing it back to Lucas he said, “That’s my most redeeming quality.” Lucas snorted, taking a tentative sip of the beer. Eliott was right, this _was_  actually good. 

Eliott rummaged around in one of his pockets for a moment, earning a curious glance from the shorter boy. After a second, he pulled out a neon yellow lighter and a joint. “Care to join me?” he asked, gesturing his head towards the window and dancing the joint between his fingers. Lucas shrugged, following Eliott out of the kitchen. 

They made their way through the sea of bodies and out through to the balcony which overlooked the street below. There were thankfully only a few other people out here, mingling amongst each other and paying no attention to the two boys that entered. Eliott plopped onto the stone floor, sticking his legs through the bars and letting them dangle over the ground 20 feet below. Lucas carefully sat down beside him, dangling his own feet over the edge. Eliott lit the end of his joint and tucked the lighter back in his pocket, bringing the joint up to his lips to take a drag. He shut his eyes as he sighed out, thin grey fog filtering out of his mouth as he silently offered Lucas his own hit. 

Lucas took it gratefully, taking a deep breath of the intoxicating drug. It warmed him from inside out, filling his head with a faint buzz that reached his fingertips and toes like sparkling, embering fires. Lucas released his breath, letting the smoke flutter out between his lips, disappearing into the night sky. He handed Eliott back the joint. 

After silently passing it back and forth for a few minutes, Lucas's body felt blissfully tingly, all of his nerve endings just that bit more awake. Eliott took another small drag, letting the smoke out with a circular formation and handing it back. “You're friends with my brother, aren't you?” Eliott said softly, rubbing his hands together as a cool breeze began to pick up and swirl around them. 

Lucas nodded, giving the weed back and leaning back on the palms of his hands. “I guess. We sit together in math class, so I guess we're acquaintances,” he replied, swinging his feet back and forth and watching his shoelaces bounce on his feet. Lucas glanced sideways at the other boy, watching him take an extra drag.

“He talks about you sometimes.” Eliott said shortly, softly. He handed Lucas the cigarette again, turning to look at him with a few strands falling into his eyes. 

Lucas raised his eyebrows and said around the cigarette, “Oh yeah?” 

Eliott nodded, plucking the blunt from Lucas's mouth. “Yeah. He says you're pretty cool and that you're very funny,” he explained with a shrug.

Lucas snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. “He really talks about me?” he clarified, fiddling with a loose strand in his blue jeans. 

Eliott released a breathy laugh, raising one eyebrow as he studied Lucas closely. “You sound doubtful. Don't trust me?” He tapped the cigarette with his forefinger, dropping bits of ash onto the ground below. 

“I met you an hour ago!” Lucas balked, looking incredulously at the absurd boy sitting next to him with a teasing grin and eyes scrunching up devilishly. “So excuse me for being wary of you, Mr. Demaury.” 

Eliott rolled his eyes, taking another puff of his cigarette. “Well he does talk about you. Talks about you being like a sitcom about crime fighters or something,” Eliott recounted, handing Lucas the joint, “And he was right. Your hair _is_ a right mess.” He grinned wider again, reaching up to ruffle Lucas's hair.

Lucas yelped, pulling away from his grasp and almost dropping the blunt off the balcony. Eliott grabbed the cigarette from Lucas’ loose grip and put the end down on the ground, putting it out in seconds and getting carefully onto his feet. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Lucas.”

Before Lucas was able to reply, Eliott spun on his toes and disappeared into the house, leaving Lucas alone with his feet dangling over oblivion. 

Lucas groaned, lying back on the floorboards and staring up at the night sky. The few lights not affected by the city’s light pollution winked and weaved over each other in his blurry vision. Lucas looked back up at the house again and sighed, shutting his eyes.

He was screwed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @matteo-shreibner!


	3. What happened?

“Top of the morning, Lucas,” Leo said a few days later as he arrived at math class, mussing up Lucas's bed head. “You look like you were in a hurricane,” he laughed, dropping his bag onto the desk.

Lucas rolled his eyes, flipping him off. Lucas faintly noticed that Leo looked particularly nice that day, dressed in an olive green bomber jacket, a plain white t-shirt and ripped blue jeans. As usual, his hair was styled perfectly, not a single misplaced strand to be seen. Lucas forced the rock down his throat, looking away. 

“That was a truly terrible Irish accent, mec. You've offended the entire country,” Lucas teased, earning a soft elbow in the ribs. 

“Haha. I'd like to see you have a better one,” Leo shot back, pulling out his notes from the previous day. Their teacher Mr. Bernard wandered into the room that second, greeting the class monotonously and telling everyone to calm down.

“Do you think he knows he can use more than one tone of voice?” Lucas whispered, keeping his eyes trained on the front to avoid getting in trouble again. He narrowly dodged a detention the day before and wasn't in the mood for pushing his luck. 

Leo chuckled, shaking his head vigorously. “Definitely not,” he replied, turning to grin at Lucas, “I think what he really needs is to get laid.” Lucas sputtered, slapping a hand over his mouth to keep from getting heard by Mr. Bernard as he started talking about some equations. 

“You may have a point,” Lucas replied. 

Leo punched him in the shoulder, leaning close so he could whisper, “I always have a point, Lucas. You should know that by now.” 

Lucas couldn't help his breath getting caught in his throat, tongue swiping over his dried lips. He could feel his face burning embarrassingly red. “Okay,” he whispered back, unable to manage much else in his stunned state.

He shouldn't be getting this worked up over a simple whisper in his ear, but clearly he was already beginning to fall ridiculously fast. He just hoped it wouldn't be too hard of a landing. 

◇

At lunch time the next day, Basile was going on rant about his French teacher giving him a detention for talking, speaking at a rapid fire pace Lucas could barely take in. 

Not that he was even trying. He was too busy staring across the lunch hall at Leo. On his normally flawless, grinning face, Leo was sporting a painful looking black eye. The skin around his eye was a violent scarlet shade, his eye swollen shut with a prominent cut on his nose. Lucas could see that one of his hands was also slightly bruised. 

Leo was standing with Manon's boyfriend, Charles who was also sporting a bruise on one of his cheeks. They were both frowning, muttering with their heads close together. 

Overflowing with a need to know, Lucas cut Basile off. “Does anyone know what happened with Leo and Charles? Has Manon heard?” he asked, still staring Leo down. 

The rest of the boys turned in their seats to see where Lucas was looking. “Were they in another fight like last year? Leo looks pretty bad,” Arthur wondered, turning to Lucas, “Maybe we should ask Manon. Maybe she knows.” 

Lucas shook his head. “I doubt she would. She didn't mention it last night or this morning,” Lucas explained, trying to remember his conversation with his roommate that morning. She hadn't seemed off or anything, so he doubted she knew then.

But maybe she knew now. 

◇

Lucas nearly knocked over multiple people in his furious speed walking towards the common room, pushing through the groups of people dotted around the corridors. With only 15 minutes left in the lunch hour, Lucas finally arrived at the common room, chest heaving and a cramp in his side. He pushed the door open, letting out a sigh of relief to find Manon sitting on the couch with Alexia, Daphné, Imane and Emma.

“Lucas! Hello! Did you need something?” As soon as she saw Lucas, Daphné leaped up from her spot on the couch, positively beaming up at him.

Lucas took a subtle step back, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by her bubbly demeanor right in his face. He looked over her shoulder, catching Manon's eye. Lowering his voice so only the girls could hear, Lucas asked, “Manon, do you know what happened with Leo and Charles? You know, since Charles is your boyfriend and all?” 

Manon gave him a sympathetic, knowing smile, shaking her head. “I don't know much, but Charles said they didn't start the fight. That's all he's telling me,” she explained, keeping her own voice down.

Emma sat up straighter and piped up, “Alex said it was to do with his brother Eliott.” 

At this, Lucas took another bewildered step back, narrowing his eyes and knitting his eyebrows together. “Eliott? But I spoke with him at the party on Friday and he seemed friendly enough. Not really the type to start a fight,” Lucas recounted, wracking his brains for some sign of Eliott being violent or defensive, but coming up with nothing. 

“Eliott wasn't in my French class this morning and he wasn't in History either. What if he's been hurt really badly?” Daphné asked, voice raising a pitch in worry. She chewed on her bottom lip anxiously, looking back and forth between her friends.

Imane scoffed, rolling her eyes. “He'll be fine, Daphné. I doubt Leo would be coming to school if his brother was severely injured,” she said bluntly, ever the voice of reason among their friends. When Daphné still looked like a deer in headlights, Imane's face softened and she said, “Daphné, he's fine. You don't even know the guy.” 

But even Lucas wasn't much convinced. If Charles and Leo looked like _that_ , he'd hate to see what eliott looked like when he seemed much less willing to fight back. 

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of the school bell ringing and then the group of six made their way out of the common room and into the swarm of students on their way to classes. Lucas split up from the girls with a half hearted wave, an unsettling feeling planted in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @matteo-shreibner!


	4. What kind of friend would I be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: description of a panic attack

Manon and Lucas were on their way to the bus stop together, walking in comfortable silence, feet marching in sync. Lucas was clutching the straps of his bag, eyebrows furrowed as he continued to worry about the Demaury brothers.

What on earth had Leo been fighting about? Was it actually related to Eliott? Perhaps someone was messing with Eliott and Leo and Charles tried to help him. Or Eliott was hiding a secret temper. What if _he_  was the one who punched them? At the party, he hadn't seemed particularly strange or aggressive, but Lucas had already been pretty intoxicated when they met. Had he missed something? / “Isn't that Leo Demaury?” 

Lucas' thought spiral was abruptly interrupted by Manon's voice, a hand going out to keep him from walking. Lucas felt a joint crack in his haste to look up from his shoelaces, face going scarlet and jaw slack. 

None other than one of the subjects of his thoughts, Leo Demaury, was in fact standing next to their bus stop. He looked undoubtedly grim, staring lasers into the concrete. His fists were clutching onto his bag's straps, the hood of his blue hoodie pulled up to obscure half his face. But even from here, Lucas was absolutely certain who he was looking at. 

As if sensing their watchful eyes, Leo looked up from his staring contest with the floor and looked straight at them. Unlike usual, his face didn't split into a grin at the sight of his friend; his frown actually deepened and he turned away from them, crossing the street and heading straight into a liquor store. 

“What the fuck?” Lucas blurted, staring across the street. He exchanged a glance with Manon, who could only offer an equally confused frown and a dismayed shake of her head. “Did he seem angry with us or am I just going crazy?” 

Manon shook her head, sighing heavily. “Maybe it wasn't targeted at you or me in particular. He could just be embarrassed about the fight,” Manon suggested. As their bus began to pull up to the station, Manon linked her arm with him and tugged him gently away from the curb. He stumbled slightly, as though he had been glued to the floor as soon as Leo looked at him like _that._  

Lucas dropped hopelessly into a seat by the window, leaning his head against the glass and looking longingly across the street. His eyes stung as they began to water, vision blurring. As the bus pulled away from the curb and away from Leo, Lucas had to bite down on his lip to keep from making a sound. 

◇

Lucas stood by his locker with the boys, laughing at something Yann was telling them. Yann was full on acting out every single person in the situation, jumping around the corridor and almost knocking down a poor first year, much to the delight of the boys even more. Lucas rolled his eyes, leaning against the lockers and smiling fondly at his friend's antics. 

“He was an idiot, essentially,” Yann said, slightly out of breath from his pantomiming. 

Lucas started to say something teasing before promptly cutting himself off when he saw none other than Leo Demaury walking right up to him, grey eyes staring intensely, jaw set. Wide eyed, Lucas looked around at his friends hopelessly before the other boy stopped right in front of him.

“Hey, Lucas, can I please talk to you?” He eyed the other boys. “Alone.” 

Lucas nodded robotically, choking out, “Uh, okay. We can go out into the courtyard?” He gestured vaguely towards the front doors with his head, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth nervously. 

Leo shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” 

Lucas shot one last terrified look over his shoulder and followed Leo outside. It was surprisingly cold out, a bitter breeze hitting him in the face and causing him to shiver and pull his jumper closer. Lucas followed Leo swiftly across the courtyard, feeling awfully like a puppy following its owner on a walk. Finally, they stopped by a low wall near one of the other buildings and Leo clambered up, sitting with his legs dangling over the edge. Cautiously, keeping plenty of space between them, Lucas sat down beside him, chewing on his nails. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. People walked past laughing and talking or looking through phones and books, bags of varying shades and colours over their shoulders.

Lucas was the first to break the silence. “So, you wanted to talk to me?” He glanced sideways at the other boy. His bruise was starting to heal more, beginning to turn a horrid puke green around the edges and the cut on his nose had almost completely disappeared. 

“Yeah,” Leo replied quietly, keeping his eyes on the ground, “I wanted to apologise for yesterday. I was still messed up about the fight and…” Leo turned to Lucas, looking at him sincerely. “I'll admit I was a little embarrassed for you to see me like, well, this.” He gestured towards his face, sighing. 

“Oh. It's–it's okay. I get it now,” Lucas replied, nodding, “You don't have to be embarrassed or anything, by the way. I was more… worried about you. I didn't know what to think when I saw your face, but I'm guessing you had good reason, so.” Lucas' cheeks burned and he forced himself to look away, running a hand through his messy locks and ruining it even more so that it stuck up in every direction. 

Leo looked back at Lucas, smiling lightly at him, eyes twinkling fondly. “I swear it was for good reason, Lucas. I'm not a violent person usually. I just get a bit…protective of my brother,” Leo explained, tone serious and devoid of any lies. Lucas’ heartstrings tugged fiercely, picking up the pace of their soft thudding, pounding against his chest cavity. 

The bell for next period went off again and Leo groaned, hopping off the wall. “I should get going, but I'll see you next period, yeah?” Leo said, already making his way towards the school building, walking backwards with a smile coming back to his face.

Lucas nodded, returning the smile. “Yeah.” 

◇ “You coming to the party at Alex's tonight? I heard it's supposed to be pretty wild,” Arthur asked Lucas during their last class of the day, Literature. They were supposed to be reading Antigone silently at their desks, but most people were taking advantage of the rather lax control from their teacher, Miss Moreau and talking quietly with their friends.

Lucas looked up from attempting to read the book, shrugging at his friend’s question. “I don’t know if I’m up for a party to be honest. This week has been hell enough,” Lucas admitted. 

Arthur groaned exasperatedly, earning a few glances from those around them. He ignored them, leaning closer to whisper, “Come on, man. It’ll cheer you up. Maybe you can find another boy. A rebound, as they say.”

Lucas elbowed him sharply in the ribs, making Arthur flinch away. Miss Moreau looked over at them, telling them both to be quiet. Arthur apologised, rolling his eyes and looking back at Lucas. “Shut up, Arthur. For anyone to be a ‘rebound’ I would have to date someone first.” 

Arthur shrugged, making a comedic face and picking up Antigone again. He skimmed through in search of his bookmark and whispered, “You sure I can’t convince you? I really wanna go but not if we’re not all there having a great time and getting blackout drunk. Mainly the latter.” 

Lucas sighed, turning the page of his book and emphatically keeping from looking at him. “Fine. But you’re paying for me the next time we all go out.” As soon as Lucas agreed, Arthur’s whole face lit up and he punched Lucas “lovingly” on the shoulder. Lucas rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t lie that he was always happy to see his friends happy just because of something he had done. 

“I promise you won’t regret a thing, Lucas dear.”

“Arthur, Lucas, I don’t want to tell you to be quiet again,” Miss Moreau chastised, frowning at them from behind her desk. 

“Sorry, miss!” Arthur called. Then he mouthed to Lucas: “This is gonna be great.” 

Lucas sure hoped so. 

◇

Of all the things Arthur said earlier, he was certainly right about the party being wild. Only two hours in, Lucas had already seen one of Alex's friends fall down the stairs, watched a girl vomit in some guy's hat and seen multiple straight girls drunkenly making out with each other. The latter still confused him to this day.

Lucas was currently settled on the floor of what appeared to be an ornate dining room with a full on chandelier. He was squashed between Arthur, who was very drunk and practically half on top of Lucas, and Yann who was only slightly more sober. Basile was nowhere to be seen, having disappeared shortly into their arrival at Alex's house. Arthur, who was nursing a fifth bottle of beer, belched in Lucas's ear, causing the short boy to yelp and elbow him in the face. 

“Fuck! Get off me, Arthur! Fuck, you're disgusting,” Lucas gritted, pushing Arthur off of his shoulder. 

Yann snorted, pointing childishly at Arthur. “Nice one, Arthur!” he said, holding his hand up for a high five. Arthur tried to hit Yann's hand, somehow hitting Lucas in the eye with his thumb. / “Fuck! _Arthur!_ ” he whined, covering his eye with his hand and pouting.

“Oh so _now_ you do it!” Basile, who had finally appeared from his adventure around the house looked betrayed as he watched Arthur and Yann try to high five each other. “Every time I try to get one, you guys just ignore me!” 

Yann laughed, shaking his head. “That's cause we're usually sober, Bas. Right now we're not,” Yann explained, snorting halfway through his own explanation.

“Yeah, we can tell,” Lucas mumbled, though everyone else ignored him. 

Basile held up his two hands in the air, clearly waiting for his moment to finally be fulfilled. He looked like an excited toddler awaiting the toys his mother promised him.

Arthur shook his head and replied, “No, Bas, it's weird now. We can't do it now.” 

“OH, COME ON,” Basile whined, dropping his hands dejectedly.

Lucas flinched under Basile's sudden outburst, nearly dropping his drink in his lap.

The party was becoming overwhelming with every second. The lights were too bright, the sounds were too loud and even the feeling of his friends leaning against him felt too tight, like he had a rope slowly tying tighter around his body.

Head swimming, Lucas carefully maneuvered his way out from under his friends, stumbling up onto his feet by using the wall as a leverage. Rather breathlessly he choked out, “I'm gonna go outside for a bit. See you guys later.” And before any of them could protest or talk him out of it, Lucas was shoving his way through the other partygoers and searching around for the door to the back garden. He knew it was around there somewhere…

In his hurry to find the exit, Lucas somehow didn't see quite where he was going and rammed straight into the back of someone. With a pathetic strangled noise, Lucas landed on his ass in the middle of the floor, covered in his own beer. 

“Watch where you're going, weirdo,” the boy Lucas had run into snapped at him, scowling like he was ready to spit fire. Lucas sputtered for some remark in retaliation but came up short and then the guy was slipping away from view.

Lucas got up on his feet again, feeling thoroughly lightheaded and clumsy, like a newborn horse trying to walk for the first time. He took a shuddering breath as he leaned down to pick up his spilled drink, biting back tears. Blinking rapidly to keep from bursting, Lucas surveyed his way around the crowded room, breathing rate increasing every second as the walls closed in around him. 

Which way had he just come from? Was the back door that way or the other way? Was that a closet or a bathroom? Where the fuck was he? Where was the back garden? He'd been here multiple times now, so why couldn't he find the door? 

“Hey, are you okay?” Lucas's head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice just in front of him. Eliott Demaury, dressed all in black again, was standing right in front of him, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Lucas? Are you okay? Do you want to go outside?” Eliott asked gently. It was oddly calming listening to his voice, like an auditory hug of sorts. Lucas nodded stiffly, taking a step forward and feeling every individual point that the ground touched his foot. Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left… all the way through the crowd. Lucas focused on his steps, following just behind Eliott so he could act as a barrier that parted the crowd with his immense height.

Once they finally got outside, the cool air filled Lucas’s lungs as if that was the first oxygen he came across since he got to the party. Lucas gulped down the refreshing air as much as he could, desperate for some proper oxygen. “Lucas. Lucas, you have to calm down or you’re going to pass out,” Eliott insisted, holding onto Lucas’s sleeve and carefully guiding him over to a bench near the far end of the garden. 

A few minutes passed of Eliott gently coaxing Lucas out of his panic attack, speaking softly and reassuringly as he helped him breathe properly. Lucas followed Eliott down the end of a long dark tunnel, easily guiding him back into the light with feather light touches and calming tones. Slowly, second by second, Lucas began to come back to his senses until he was left completely exhausted and tingly all over. He was sticky with the drying beer which began to soak into his clothes, making him reek of the thick scent like an awful cologne. 

Lucas released a long breath, letting his body go limp and leaning back against the bench. He shut his eyes tightly as tears pricked his eyes. “Hey, you’re okay. No more people or noises, yeah?” Eliott whispered, letting Lucas drop his cheek against Eliott’s shoulder. Lucas knew he’d probably regret that tomorrow, but for now he revelled in the feeling of being close to someone and not feeling utterly overwhelmed. 

“Thank you,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, half hoping Eliott wouldn’t hear him.

But he did. Eliott laughed breathily, patting Lucas’ knee and replying, “Don’t worry. I couldn’t just let you hyperventilate yourself into oblivion or get trampled by the house guests. What kind of friend would I be?” 

_Friend._

Lucas tilted his head sideways to try to look up at Eliott, smirking sheepishly at him. “Oh yeah?” he asked, eyes wide and twinkling under the fairylights set up around the fence that encircled the garden. He hadn’t noticed it previously in his spiral a few minutes ago, but Eliott looked gorgeous in this lighting. His saxe eyes reflected the yellow lights like stars in an evening sky and his hair was sticking up in every which way, just waiting to be messed up even more by wandering fingers. 

Looking at him properly up close now, Lucas realised how much less he looked like his brother. He was much softer in a way, eyes scrunching slightly when he smiled and a comforting, sweet aura surrounding him. Whereas Leo was startling and vibrant and in your face, Eliott was gentle and comforting and safe. While Leo radiated confidence and certainty, Eliott seemed much more unsure and cautious. Both boys looked almost identical, but they carried themselves so differently, presented themselves so distinctly, they might as well have been from completely alternate universes.

“LUCAS! Lucas, there you are! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” From the door leading out into the garden, Lucas recognised the voice of Yann, albeit much more slurred than normal. Yann and Arthur started making their way across the grass towards them, both stumbling comedically over each other. 

Eliott pulled away from Lucas and only then did he notice that he hadn’t actually removed his hand from Lucas’s knee a few minutes ago. Lucas glanced sideways at Eliott and turned back to his friends. “I literally told you guys I was going outside.”

“Oh! You’re talking to Leo again! Hello!” Arthur exclaimed, waving. 

Lucas slapped his forehead, groaning and leaning his head back up to the night sky. “Fuck’s sake, Arthur. This is Eliott. I don’t know where Leo is,” Lucas replied, looking apologetically at Eliott who simply shrugged in response. 

“Leo didn’t actually come tonight. I’m the only Demaury here.”

“Aww, damn,” Yann blurted, a hint of a whining tone. Lucas’s eyes widened dangerously, scowling at his closest friend like he was close to murdering him. “I just meant it’s always great to have both! Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you guys in the same room. Are you sure there’s two of you?”

Lucas leaped onto his feet, taking Yann by the shoulders. “OKAY! I think that’s our cue to leave before you say anything else idiotic!” Lucas exclaimed, beginning to turn the other two around and guiding them towards the house. “See you later, Eliott!” Out of the other two’s sight, Lucas mouthed, “I’m so sorry” to Eliott, shaking his head exasperatedly and then turned to follow his friends inside. Lucas swore he was friends with toddlers sometimes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @matteo-shreibner!


	5. Boyfriend

On Monday, Lucas was sitting with the Yann, Imane and Alexia in the common room at one of the tables they had set up. He was trying to go over their Biology homework with Imane, leaning over a textbook while Imane read aloud, but he couldn’t seem to get his head wrapped around half of the facts. He was about to ask Imane to clarify something when his phone buzzed in his back pocket.

“One second,” he mumbled, turning away from Imane to pull out his phone to check his message. 

It was from Leo. 

**Leo Demaury:**  Hey! I heard you chatted w/ eliott at the party on friday? Cool that you're friends! 

Lucas smiled, typing back a response quickly and glancing sideways to see if any of his friends were watching. 

**Me:**  Yeah I guess. He helped me out at the party 

“–but he's just being an idiot, as usual.” Meanwhile, completely ignorant to Lucas’ texting, Alexia was telling Yann and Imane about how she had broken up with her boyfriend finally. 

Leo replied again, making a tiny smile appear in the corner of his lips as he unlocked his phone to read the reply.

**Leo Demaury:**  Oh yeah, he said you fell over or something and he helped you up. 

**Leo Demaury:** That's our eliott. Always helping out his friends when they're drunk 

Lucas began typing a response, biting his bottom lip in concentration, when he felt a sharp jab in his side. Lucas yelped, flinching sideways and almost toppling out of his seat. Scowling, Lucas turned to the perpetrator, Imane, eyes squinting and eyebrows knitted together.

“ _What?_ ” he groaned, pouting childishly. Imane rolled her eyes, reaching up to flick his nose with her pen. “Can't you focus for more than one second? You want to pass, don't you?” Imane asked appraisingly, ever the mum friend between them. Lucas sighed, slipping his phone into his back pocket and nodding shyly, blushing. “Then stop texting your boyfriend or whatever and pay attention.” 

Lucas froze in his seat at her final comment, eyes bulging comically. “I don't have a boyfriend,” he choked out, face burning.

“Could have fooled me,” Imane said with a shrug, turning back to her notes as if her comment hadn't just ripped Lucas’ entire being out of himself. “Right, where were we? Parts of the heart, wasn't it?”

Lucas shrugged, scooting down a bit in his chair. “Yeah, maybe,” he mumbled.

◇

On Wednesday afternoon, it was a surprisingly warm day with the sun shining pleasantly down on the school building. Taking advantage of their free period and the nice weather, Lucas was sitting with the other boys outside on one of the low walls. He had his math notebook opened up in his lap, textbook next to him while he tried to solve one of the more complicated equations. Next to him, Yann was lounging with his head in Arthur's lap while he tried to read Antigone and ignore Arthur poking his hair. Basile was hunched over on Lucas’ right side with his back turned to the others, typing on his phone as usual. 

“Cut it out, Arthur, I'm trying to read!” Yann whined, swatting Arthur's wrist as he was jabbed in the head with Arthur's newly sharpened pencil. 

“You're the one with your head in his lap, dude,” Lucas pointed out, keeping his eyes on his notes and rubbing out a mistake. Fucking parabolas. 

Lucas had almost forgotten his surroundings a few minutes later, having gotten so focused on trying to solve the many questions he had to do for homework that he didn't even noticed someone walking over. “Hey,” a familiar voice said from above him. Lucas looked up abruptly, knocking his pencil onto the concrete floor and coming face to face with Eliott Demaury. 

He was dressed in his usual black hoodie and brown jacket, though he was wearing blue jeans for once. Either way, he was still hot in Lucas’ opinion. “Uh, hi,” Lucas stuttered, face flushing as he looked up into those bright grey eyes. Eliott bent down, plucking Lucas’ pencil from the ground and handing it back to him. As their fingers brushed, Lucas looked up at the other boy, feeling his face heat up under Eliott's gaze. 

Did Eliott _have_  to always look at him like that?

“Oh, Eliott! Hello!” Yann exclaimed, sitting up from Arthur's lap so he could not-so-subtly elbow Lucas in the side. “Sorry again about the other night. Lucas has informed me that I am a terrible drunk for confusing you for your brother,” Yann continued. 

Lucas scowled at his friend, face pulled into a betrayed frown. Eliott laughed in response and Lucas could feel the sound all the way through his entire body, lighting his every nerve end on fire. “It's fine. You were intoxicated and it's not like it's the first time it happened, “ Eliott replied casually, shrugging nonchalantly.

 “Did you need something?” Lucas asked, tilting his head to the side like a curious puppy. Eliott peeled his view from Yann to look back at Lucas, a grin melting onto his face.

“Uh, nothing in particular. Just wondering what you're up to,” Eliott asked, eyes boring into Lucas like a drill. Lucas forced himself to look away, feeling entirely watched and analysed. He wasn't used to that kind of attention at all, nevermind from one of the two hottest guys he had ever laid eyes on.

“We're not really doing anything. Just studying since it's a free period,” Arthur explained.

Eliott nodded, glancing back at Lucas. “Do you want to join us? There's plenty of room on the wall,” Yann suggested, scooting closer to Arthur and patting the spot right next to Lucas. Lucas held his breath, unsure of whether he wanted Eliott sitting so close. He didn't trust his self control enough as it was, nevermind when the other boy was sitting _right there._

Eliott hesitated for a moment, looking back and forth between Lucas and Yann. Lucas glanced sideways at the empty spot and then back at Eliott. Dropping his bag on the ground, Eliott hopped easily up onto the wall, not even bothering to take any of his stuff out of his bag. He was sitting even closer to Lucas than he had expected, his entire leg pressed against Lucas’ from ankle to hips, shoulder leaning against Lucas like he belonged there.

Perhaps he did. 

“Did you guys hear about the party at Charles’ house on Saturday?” Basile commented, finally looking up from his phone for the first time and turning around to face the other four boys. 

“Those are always insane. We _have_  to go,” Arthur replied excitedly, grinning broadly and almost bouncing in his seat. He turned to Eliott again and asked, “Are you going, Eliott? You can join us.”

Eliott shrugged, peering at Lucas out of the corner of his eye. “That depends. Who else is going?” he asked, looking back to Arthur. 

“All of us, obviously,” Yann replied, leaning forwards to stare at Lucas, a knowing glint in his eye, “Right, Lucas?”  Lucas shrunk down in his seat on the wall, face burning. “Maybe. I have to study for my upcoming Biology test,” he muttered. 

“I'll go if you do.” Eliott had turned entirely now, looking at Lucas with far too much intensity for such a nonchalant sentence. Swallowing, Lucas nodded, forcing himself to keep Eliott's gaze. 

“Alright then. Fuck my grades, then,” he replied, earning an eruption of cheers from Yann, Arthur and Basile. Basile hugged him from the side while Yann reached over to punch him lightly in the leg and Arthur continued to shout, hands in the air. 

But none of that mattered because currently, Eliott was fixing Lucas with the widest of smiles he had ever seen in his entire life. His eyes were almost shut, filled with mirth, a laugh dangling on his lips. What Lucas would do to make sure Eliott was always that happy…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @matteo-shreibner!


	6. Fate

Once again, Lucas found himself at another shitty house party. He could have been doing literally anything else, such as actually hearing what people were saying to him, but instead he was sitting on a kitchen countertop and being subjected to dubstep music. 

There was however, one positive to his situation: Eliott was standing right next to him, beer in one hand and a cigarette dangling from his lips. Basile had disappeared shortly after they arrived, as usual these days, and Yann was swept away not long after by a second year girl Lucas thought was called Chloé. This left them with just Arthur, Lucas and Eliott, all huddled together in the kitchen and watching the rest of the party. 

“Hey, you're Arthur, right? We have math together.” A bleached blonde girl with too much fake tan and a low cut black shirt appeared on Arthur's other side, flashing dazzling white teeth at a very stunned looking Arthur. Arthur nodded slowly, eyes wide as he stared blatantly at the girl oggling him. “You want to dance?” she asked coyly, wiggling her eyebrows and holding out a well manicured, vaguely orange hand. 

“See you boys later!” Arthur called as he took the girl's hand and followed her through the crowd. 

Lucas and Eliott exchanged a look as yet another friend was stolen away by a pretty girl, bursting into a fit of childish giggles. Eliott's whole face was split in half, eyes squinted as he laughed, holding one hand onto the bar to steady himself. Lucas nearly dropped his beer, practically wheezing. He had no idea what had come over either of them but here they were, laughing their heads off for barely any reason. 

Eliott sighed as they finally calmed down, leaning his head back against one of the grey cabinets and turning his head to look at Lucas. Lucas looked right back, half stunned by the gorgeous grey eyes piercing into him like shiny, beautiful daggers. 

Eliott leaned close, mouth only an inch away from Lucas’ ear and whispered, “You wanna get out of here?” Lucas nodded vigorously, finishing the rest of his drink in one go and leaping off the counter. The fact he almost slammed his head against the wall across from the counter was unimportant. Obviously. 

“Come on, my house is empty since Leo is here still,” Eliott said over his shoulder. Lucas nodded and Eliott reached back to grab his wrist, tugging him easily through the crowd of people. Lucas hoped Eliott couldn't feel his pulse in his fingers because his heart was racing at a dangerous pace, knocking violently at his ribs. 

Outside in the street, Eliott finally let go of him, tilting his head up to the sky to look at the navy blue arching over them. Lucas looked up as well, grinning as the cool autumn air brushed his face, sending a shiver across his skin, hair standing up on end. 

“The bus stop is just this way, follow me.” 

And then they were jogging down the street, feet slapping the ground and laughs bubbling out once more. 

◇

The Demaury apartment was located only a couple miles from Lucas’ house in a tall off white stone building which overlooked a small cafe and courtyard out front. Lucas followed Eliott up the few flights of stairs leading up to the flat and watched his careful fingers unlocking the front door, keys tinkling cheerfully. Eliott toed the door open, stepping aside to allow Lucas to slip past him. 

“Well, come in,” he said with a smirk, shutting the door behind them. “Come, my room's this way.” He gestured with his chin down a small corridor laiden with various fancy paintings and even a picture of Eliott and Leo from what looked like a good few years ago. 

When they stepped inside Eliott's room, Lucas immediately noticed the vast array of sketches adorning the walls, pinned and taped haphazardly here and there. His bed was unmade and a copy of and Agatha Christie book lay open among the sheets. On the other side of the room, there was a small window seat with a green cushion on it, window overlooking the street below. Upon closer inspection of the various sketches and doodles surrounding them, Lucas noticed a cute creature featured heavily. 

“These are so cool. Are these badgers?” Lucas asked, walking closer to look at one of them in which the animal was being hugged by a cat. 

Eliott gasped and when Lucas turned to see him, he looked almost offended. “They're not badgers, they're _raccoons_ ,” Eliott said, rolling his eyes, “I've gotten better at drawing myself though. And most of these are just little quick sketches I did when I was… when I'm bored.” Eliott's voice trailed off, eyes falling to the floor. The air in the room was suddenly pulled taut like a rubber band, thickening and becoming tense and cold. 

Trying to defuse the tension, Lucas cleared his throat and asked, “These are supposed to be you?” 

Eliott nodded, shoulders relaxing significantly. He tilted his head to the side, smiling softly, eyes squinting again. Lucas gulped, face flushing under the other boy's gaze. “It's my favourite animal,” Eliott stated. Lucas raised his eyebrows curiously. “They're very cool. Plus they have a mask.”

“And how would you draw me then?” Lucas asked, turning his whole body towards Eliott. A smirk played on his lips, wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. 

Eliott turned towards him as well, seeming to consider him for a moment. He looked Lucas up and down a few times thoughtfully. And just like that, the rubber band snapped, throwing Lucas and forcing him to look away and back at the drawings in case he literally burst into flames. Eliott couldn't just look at him like _that_  and not expect to have some effect on him. 

“I don't know yet. I have to think about it,” Eliott replied finally. “Do you want another drink? We should have some in the fridge somewhere,” he added after a moment's silence. Lucas nodded and watched Eliott disappear from the room. 

Heaving a large sigh, Lucas dropped onto the foot of Eliott's bed, running his hands over his hair. “Aren't you going to join me?” Lucas's head snapped up to find Eliott standing in the doorway, pouting. 

“Uh, of course.” Lucas stood up again and followed him out of the room and back down the corridor. In his back pocket, Lucas felt his phone vibrate with a message. As they stepped into the kitchen and Eliott began rummaging around the fridge, Lucas unlocked his phone and checked the message he had gotten from Yann.

**Yann:** Mate where are you 

**Yann:** We're all looking for you and Eli, where did you guys go? 

Shit. 

“Found some. Here.” Eliott's voice pulled Lucas out of his phone. He was holding out a beer, one eyebrow arched. Lucas muttered a thanks as he took it from him, feeling the dripping, cold condensation on his fingers.

Eliott leaned his back against one of the countertops, standing across Lucas with a considering facial expression, beer bottle paused halfway to his lips. Lucas felt his face flush under the attention he swore he would never get used to, forcing himself to stare at the tiled floor of the kitchen instead. 

“Are your parents not coming home or…?”

Eliott took a long, slow sip of his beer, keeping eye contact with Lucas before answering. “No. Leo and I usually have the house to ourselves since our parents are split up and Dad works away most of the time,” he explained, drumming his fingers on the glass of his bottle. Lucas nodded, taking a swig of his own drink. Eliott watched him for a second before putting his drink down on the counter and holding up a finger before jogging out of the kitchen.

Before Lucas could so much as mutter “What the fuck?” under his breath, Eliott had returned holding a silver lighter and joint, raising his eyebrows swiftly, eyes crinkling with a cheeky smile. Lucas nodded and then he was following Eliott once more. 

He followed Eliott into his room again where Eliott easily opened his window and settled down on top of the seat, indicating for Lucas to join him. 

Lucas carefully propped himself up on the seat and dangled his legs out of the window, watching Eliott's every movement. He watched Eliott's nimble fingers lighting up the match, the tiny orange flame dancing in his stormy grey eyes. He watched him gracefully light the end of the joint, letting the lighter die out. His careful hand reached back to put the lighter aside, bringing the cigarette up to his lips. Captivated, Lucas could only stare as Eliott closed his eyes, taking a hit. Lucas swallowed hard, licking his lips that had gone dry in the last few moments. 

Eliott opened his eyes again, instantly falling onto Lucas'. With a daring, knowing grin, Eliott turned the smoke into a ring which dissolved in midair. He handed Lucas the joint, leaning his head against the wall and watching Lucas take his own drag. 

And on and on, they passed the joint back and forth, taking drags and releasing them out into the night sky to become entangled with the cloudy sky. 

Soon, they were sitting on the floor in front of the window, backs against the wall and sitting so close their shoulders were touching. Beside him, Eliott looked entirely blissful, slouching comfortably, eyes half shut. 

“Do you believe in fate?” Eliott asked quietly, turning his head slightly to face Lucas. 

Lucas shrugged, gazing back at Eliott. “Maybe. Probably not. You?” His voice was barely above a whisper, as if they could be heard from down in the street if they weren't as quiet as possible. Lucas thought the whispering felt almost intimate, like they were divulging a great secret with each other. 

“Mm, maybe,” Eliott replied, copying Lucas’ tone. Was he closer than before? “What about soul mates?” he added, raising a single eyebrow, an unreadable glint in his eyes. 

Lucas normally would have said no. But sitting here on the cool hardwood floor, wall digging slightly into his spine and shoulder pressed firmly against Eliott's as they stared each other down, Lucas might have reconsidered. 

Instinctively, his eyes moved towards Eliott's plush pink lips, just for a fraction of a second. A fraction of a second that was instantly copied by the other boy. “I don't know. Perhaps,” Lucas said finally. 

Eliott nodded, humming. He was most definitely moving closer now. As though they were magnetised to each other, two opposites attracting, Lucas moved closer as well. They were three centimetres, two centimetres away, Eliott's warm breath fanning over Lucas’ face. Barely a centimetre away, Lucas shut his eyes, mentally preparing himself. 

And then the bedroom door slammed open. 

Both boys sprung apart, looking up to see a very _very_ drunk Leo being supported by none other than Alex, Emma's usual hook up. Lucas moved away so fast he hit his head on Eliott's desk, wincing.

“Lucas! You're here, too! Hello!” Leo exclaimed, voice slurred, knees wobbling. He was talking way too loudly, as though Lucas and Eliott were seated at the other end of a football pitch and not a metre and a bit away.

“Uh, hi,” Lucas replied sheepishly, glancing back at Eliott who looked ready to jump out the window.

“Hey, Leo,” Eliott said through gritted teeth, frowning more than Lucas had ever seen him. It was certainly a sight to see. 

Carefully, Lucas got to his feet,using the wall behind him as a support. “Erm, I should be going. My friends will be wondering where I went, so. Yeah,” Lucas rambled, making his way over to the door. Alex gave him a questioning look though he moved aside, helping Leo stay standing all the while. “Uh, see you guys around. Thanks for the, er, company, Eliott.”

Lucas shot Eliott one last apologetic smile, hoping Eliott could read the regret plastered on his face. Eliott replied grimly, “No problem, mate. Anytime.” 

That stung a little. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @matteo-shreibner!


	7. Just Friends

On Monday in school, Lucas was in the middle of putting his stuff in his locker when Yann, Basile and Arthur appeared by his side. Lucas paused, hand hovering halfway between putting his folder in his locker and staring at his friends with wide eyes. 

“Hey. How are you?” he asked the group, face a bright scarlet as he shoved his folder inside the locker and slammed it shut. 

“Where'd you and Eliott disappear to at the party after you decided it was boring?” Yann asked casually, leaning his side against the wall of lockers. His eyes pierced into Lucas, a knowing glint in them Lucas didn't like at all.

“Yeah, why didn't you bring us? That party was so lame and we got stuck trying to find you two lovebirds,” Arthur replied, crossing his arms. 

Lucas swallowed, shouldering his bag and walking towards his first period. “It wasn't a big deal, guys,” he explained, “We just went to his house and smoked a bit. Nothing more.” Unfortunately. 

Arthur squinted his eyes suspiciously, clearly trying to figure out if he was lying. “ _Just_  smoked? That's it? Nothing a bit more… interesting?” Arthur insinuated. Lucas kicked his shins, scowling.

“None of that happened, you pervert,” Lucas whined, “We literally just talked and stuff and then Leo came home drunk with Alex. That's it.” 

Thankfully, before any of the boys could reply, the school bell went off, giving Lucas the excuse to slip away from his friends to get to his class. He knew that wasn't the end of the conversation, knowing his idiotic no-brain-cell friends, but he'd take the chance to escape that conversation for as long as possible.

◇

At lunch, Eliott was nowhere to be found. None of the boys knew where he was and now that Lucas thought about it, he hadn't seen or heard from Eliott since Saturday. After their abrupt interruption, Lucas had sent Eliott a message apologising for leaving so fast, but had been left unread since then. 

Now, Lucas was sitting picking at his food while the boys chattered away carelessly about girls and other nonsense Lucas had no interest in. Didn't they ever talk about anything else? 

“Hey, Lucas, buddy.” 

Lucas looked up, making eye contact with Yann. The other two were also staring curiously at him, Arthur's head tilted and eyebrows knitted while Basile looked confused as he chewed his food. Lucas gave them all an equally befuddled look, raising his eyebrows as if to ask them what they were curious about. 

“You worried about your little boyfriend?” Basile teased, pointing his fork at Lucas. 

Lucas swatted his hand away, pouting. “He's not my boyfriend." He stabbed a bit of pasta with his fork. 

This earned a chorus of laughs and jeers from his friends and Arthur said, “But from the looks of it, you wish he was.” Basile was practically out of his seat laughing, hand hitting the table and Yann nearly choked on his water.

Lucas shot Arthur a death glare, putting his fork down on his plate and tilting his head in what he hoped was a threatening manner. “I don't want to date Eliott,” Lucas grumbled, eating another forkful of pasta. 

Across the room, Leo entered the lunch hall followed by Charles and Alex, grinning broadly as ever. The other boys followed Lucas’ gaze, looking over at the doors. Leo was greeting a group of very pretty girls sitting at one of the tables near the entrance. Lucas sighed, stabbing another piece of his poor pasta. 

“Wow, Lucas. I didn't see you as the twins fetish kind of guy but here we are!” Arthur exclaimed, far too loudly for Lucas’ taste. 

“Shh! Be quiet, would you like everyone to hear you?” Lucas hissed, slapping a hand over Arthur’s mouth, looking at him with a desperate, dismayed expression, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “I do not have a twin fetish, okay? I don’t like either of them like that. We’re just friends,” Lucas insisted once more, narrowing his eyes at his three friends. 

Yann held his hands up in mock surrender while Basile muttered, “For now.” Lucas decided to just ignore him and get back to stabbing away at his pasta. He could tell that he hadn’t convinced his friends in any way, but they thankfully moved onto other topics shortly after, allowing Lucas to continue staring across the room and brood in silence. It was a bit immature of him, Lucas knew, but he didn’t give a toss. 

Leo was now walking past their table with Charles, Alex and one of the blonde girls from the table, laughing and talking as they made their way towards the lunch queue. On his way past, he caught Lucas’ eye, grinning brightly and nodding in greeting before continuing his conversation with the blonde. Lucas felt his gut tighten, cheeks brushed a light pink once again as he watched Leo disappear into the queue with his friends. Sighing, Lucas stuffed another mouthful of pasta in his mouth, scowling ever deeper. 

◇

Eliott still was nowhere to be seen or heard from two days later. None of the boys had seen him in any of their classes and neither had any of the girl squad when Lucas asked on Wednesday morning. Lucas had now sent another three messages asking where he was and was still met with nothing. He hadn’t even read the messages. 

By Thursday afternoon, Lucas was in full on panic mode. Eliott still wasn’t there that morning and Arthur had just said he was missing from History once again. As he waited for Leo to show up for class, his knees were bouncing up and down erratically, bottom lip almost drawing blood with how hard Lucas was chewing on it as he opened his phone once again. 

Finally, as the final bell rang for class to start, Leo slipped inside the door at the last minute, hair looking messier than usual and his cheeks flushed, tucking his phone into his back pocket. He strided across the room in a split second, dropping heavily into the seat next to Lucas with a sigh. Once he had unpacked his bag and dropped it on the ground at his feet, he leaned on his elbows, shutting his eyes as he massaged his temples. 

Lucas had the horrible thought that Leo knew just as much about Eliott’s whereabouts as he did. 

As Mr. Bernard began the lesson, Lucas turned to his friend and whispered, “Where’s Eliott? I haven’t seen him in days or heard from him since Saturday.” 

Leo finally removed his hands from his face, opening his eyes but keeping them trained on the board in front. “He’s just got the flu or something. Don’t worry,” he replied dismissively, pulling a pen out of his pencil case and starting to write whatever problem Mr. Bernard had put up on the board. Lucas wasn’t letting him get away that easily.

Elbowing him lightly in the ribs, Lucas said, “He hasn’t replied to any of my messages since Saturday, though. I’m-my friends and I are just worried about him.” Lucas looked desperately at his friend, eyes full of fear and confusion. 

Leo shrugged, still keeping from looking at him, shoulders hunched over uncharacteristically. “Maybe his phone died or something. He’s always been shit at charging it,” Leo drawled, scribbling the answer to the question, pen dragging unnaturally loudly across the page. If he wasn't careful, it would rip. 

“Dead for five days?” 

Leo stopped writing and turned to face Lucas. There was a startling venom in his normally crystal clear eyes, a coldness which hit Lucas in the face and made him scoot his chair back a few inches in mild terror. “Would you just fucking leave it, Lucas? He's alive and safe, so you can stop worrying about him so much, okay?” Leo snapped, scowling at Lucas further. 

Lucas’ eyes burned as he blinked back tears. “L-Leo, I'm sorry, I–” he began desperately before being cut off by the other boy. 

“Whatever!” Leo spat, stopping everyone else in the room in their tracks. All eyes were on Leo as he all but leapt up from his seat. “This is bullshit,” he muttered, dropping his pen on the desk and rushing out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him so hard a paper fell off the pin board on the wall. 

Mr. Bernard cleared his throat, turning back to the board. “As I was saying…” 

But Lucas blocked the teacher's drawl out, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. Carefully, keeping his sniffling to a minimum, Lucas packed up Leo's stuff so he could take it to him after class and then attempted to pay attention to whatever Mr. Bernard was talking about. 

It was futile to say the least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise....


	8. Brave

“So he just stormed out like that?” Arthur was saying the next morning while Lucas recounted the events of the previous day. Arthur, Lucas and Yann were currently standing out in the courtyard by one of the benches, awaiting Basile's arrival.

Lucas nodded, ruffling up his hair with stress. He barely slept last night and he supposed that definitely wasn't helping his nerves. “Yup. I had to take his stuff to the school nurse's office after class so he could find it,” Lucas explained, looking around the courtyard for any signs of Eliott. 

As if finally summoned, both Demaury twins suddenly walked into the courtyard together. Both looking grim and exhausted. Eliott was dressed all in black with his hood up and his head down, clutching the straps of his bag like a vice. His steps were slow and careful, missing their usual bounce, dragging his feet slowly across the pavement. Meanwhile, Leo was oddly hunched over, prominent grey bags forming under his eyes and looking around the courtyard with apprehension. Lucas stood frozen as he watched their entrance, swallowing something hard in the back of his throat and waiting for one of the twins to look his way. 

When Leo caught Lucas’ eye, Lucas half wanted to run away and hide. Until the other boy's steely face seemed to soften slightly and both boys started to make their way over to the group. 

“Hey, Lucas? Can I talk to you during lunch?” Leo asked, stopping right in front of him, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. 

Lucas nodded dumbly and before he could say anything else, Leo was wandering off to find his own friends. Lucas watched him walk away almost wistfully, watching him disappear inside the building.

At the same time, a whole chorus of questions was coming from Yann and Arthur as they greeted Eliott enthusiastically, yet with an air of concern. It was almost amusing. 

Until Lucas saw Eliott's face. He looked haggard and exhausted and upon his friends’ many questions, a barely flickering light in his eyes seemed to die out completely. Over Eliott's shoulder, Lucas finally saw Basile walking over, followed by none other than Daphné. 

In a desperate bid to save Eliott from answering questions he clearly didn't want to answer, Lucas blurted out, “Basile! There he is with Daphné!” He pointed over towards their friend and instantly, Yann and Arthur's attention was stolen away in favour of asking their friend about his late arrival.

Lucas caught Eliott's eye just as he sighed with obvious relief. His eyes seemed to shine once again in a silent thank you and he moved closer to Lucas to allow Basile to join the group. Standing almost shoulder to shoulder, Eliott lightly bumped his hand against Lucas’ and grinned down at him. Lucas could do nothing more than shrug and bump his hand right back. 

◇

Lucas was standing out in the courtyard once again that lunch time, bouncing back and forth anxiously on his heels. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets as he looked around at the many students coming in and out of the building on their break. Lucas’ stomach growled and he was reminded at how little time he had left of the lunch period before he next had Biology and would be unable to eat during class. If only it was something like French where his teacher didn’t care if he ate. 

Finally, after almost 45 minutes standing out in the biting autumn air, Leo walked out into the courtyard carrying something in a brown paper bag. He quickly made his way over, stopping just a foot or two away from Lucas. He held out the paper bag for Lucas.

“Here. Your friends said you were missing lunch for this, so I, uh, brought you a sandwich. I hope you like brie because I think that's involved somewhere,” he rambled as Lucas tentatively took the bag from his loose grip. Lucas looked down into the bag and sure enough, a boxed up sandwich and a juice box were sitting at the bottom of the bag. “Oh yeah. And an apple juice thing,” Leo added with a light blush. 

Lucas looked up from the bag, a smile splitting his face. “Fuck. You didn't have to do that. Thank you,” he choked out, pulling the triangular half of the sandwich. Settling onto a nearby bench and taking a small bite of the sandwich, Lucas turned towards Leo once again. “What did you need to talk about?”

Leo sighed, falling onto the bench beside him. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his face in his hands. “I wanted to apologise for yesterday,” he said finally, sitting up and making eye contact once again. Lucas nearly choked on his sandwich, blinking in surprise.

“You don't have to. I know you were—” 

Leo cut him off, holding up a single slender finger. “No, I do. I was dismissive and passive and them I just snapped at you and that wasn't fair of me,” Leo stated, “It's not my story at all to tell, but I was stressed about Eli yesterday and it all boiled over that class period and I took it out on you. I know that's not an excuse, but I'm really sorry about doing that.” 

“I'm sorry too. I should have stopped prying when I saw how uptight and upset you looked,” Lucas said, putting down his sandwich on his knee, “You obviously had your reasons for being stressed and I simply made it worse. I'm the one that should be sorry, not you.” 

“Lucas, you've been nothing but nice to both me and my brother. Especially for the latter, I'm enormously happy for that,” Leo continued, putting a hand on Lucas' shoulder. His eyes were soft and fond, a much clearer blue than yesterday. “You were obviously stressed about your friend and so I can't blame you for asking his brother about it. But once again, I'm sorry for snapping at you. That's not what friends do to each other.” 

Lucas smiled tearfully at Leo, nodding. He didn't know what to say to that. But Leo didn't seem to care as he simply tugged Lucas into a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck. Lucas bit on his lip to keep from crying, instead wrapping his arms around the other boy's torso and burying his face in his hood. Leo smelled of cologne and something earthy like a field of grass or a deep forest.

Lucas pulled away after a few seconds, looking down at his feet. Unfortunately, in the hug, one half of his sandwich had fallen onto the ground in a sad heap of soggy bread and cheese and what looked like ham. Oh well. 

The bell for next period sounded and the two boys got up from the bench, saying their goodbyes and heading off in separate directions. Apparently Leo didn't have any more classes that afternoon, so he was heading home early. 

Meanwhile Lucas had to stuff as much of the terrible sandwich in his mouth before he reached the biology labs. 

◇

Lucas was just about to plug his headphones in as he made his way towards the bus stop when he heard his name being called from behind him. Stopping, Lucas turned on his heel and immediately felt a grin on his face as he saw Eliott jogging up to him. He was smiling as bright as a spotlight, eyes half shut in mirth as he came to a stop just in front of him. “Hey,” he said with a nod, holding onto the straps of his bag.

"Hey,” Lucas breathed, looking up at the boy in front of him. He looked even more exhausted than that morning, purple bruises under slightly bloodshot grey eyes, but with a newfound happiness as he continued to beam down at Lucas. It was startling how much Eliott could affect Lucas, even with clear exhaustion written on his face. 

“What are you up to?” Eliott asked, gesturing with his chin towards the bus stop.

Lucas looked over his shoulder and shrugged, looking back. “I was just on my way home since there's not much else to do tonight,” he explained casually, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Do you want to go out somewhere? I know there's a bar around here or a few places we can get something to eat,” Eliott suggested, raising his eyebrows. Lucas stepped back, blinking rapidly in surprise, eyebrows knitting together. “Don't look so excited, why don't you,” Eliott laughed. 

Lucas rolled his eyes, though his annoyed front was meager at best with the grin still prominent. “I'm just surprised. You look tired. Are you sure you don't just want some alone time or something?” Lucas asked, silently praying Eliott disagreed. 

“I've spent the last five days all alone. I want to _do something,_ ” Eliott whined, eyelashes fluttering, “Besides, I missed hanging out with you.”

Lucas couldn't keep his jaw from dropping, knees weak as he stared up in shock at what Eliott had just said. He had _missed_  him? Surely not. Nobody ever missed Lucas. 

Trying to keep up his composure, Lucas cleared his throat and straightened up, shaking himself off. “Then where shall we go, Demaury?” He arched an eyebrow daringly, pushing his hands into the front pockets on his jacket.

Eliott grinned impossibly wider and grabbed Lucas's wrist, pulling it out of his jacket. “I know just the place,” he said, taking off at a sprint down the pavement, holding a steady grip of Lucas’ wrist the whole time. A laugh bubbled out of Lucas' mouth as he struggled to keep up with Eliott's long stride, having to run twice as fast to stay in the taller boy's strong grasp.

Finally, both puffing and out of breath, chests heaving rapidly, Eliott let go of Lucas and they stopped outside of a dimly lit pizza place. Gasping for breath, Eliott wheezed, presenting the entrance to the restaurant, “After you, my good sir.” Lucas giggled breathlessly and stepped into the mildly crowded restaurant.

A friendly dark haired man dressed in black jeans and a white button down appeared at once, grinning at the two people entering. “Welcome! Table for two?” he exclaimed, already reaching behind him for a couple of menus. Eliott nodded, still huffing and puffing. “Lovely! Please follow me.”

As they followed the host's quick march towards a free table, Lucas felt Eliott's hand on his back, helping guide him through the maze of tables and chairs. Lucas’ breath hitched in realisation, eyes impossibly wide. 

They reached an empty booth near a window facing the street and reluctantly, Lucas pulled away from Eliott to slide into one of the booths across from him. They thanked the host for their menus and began reading through it in silence. 

As usual, it was easy being with Eliott. They had a natural chemistry, bouncing jokes and comments and questions off of each other easily. They decided to share a pizza, ordering drinks and continuing their conversation. Talking to Eliott felt right somehow, as if Lucas had been waiting his entire life for that kind of comfort and ease while talking to someone. 

Of course, it was easy and comfortable with Yann, but Lucas had known Yann since they were children. It was a whole other kind of chemistry between him and Yann, one that did not involve a foot pressing teasingly against his shin or intense staring that made Lucas squirm from head to toe. 

As they ordered ice cream for dessert, both falling into an amicable silence after laughing about something Lucas had said, Lucas realised he had never felt this way before. Sure, he'd had crushes in the past and had even dated people before, but none of that added up to the safety and comfort he felt with Eliott. And yet, he had never felt so electric, alive, ignited from inside out. He was a home on fire, alighted from the hearth in a gorgeous glow that consumed his every thoughts and made his whole body pleasantly warm. 

“So, have you decided how you'd draw me yet?” Lucas asked, leaning over the table, eyes fluttering. 

Eliott smiled, leaning forward as well until they were only a few inches apart. Instantly, Lucas was brought back to almost a week ago, back in Eliott's room, spine pressing against the wall and heart hammering in his chest. He swallowed. 

“Not yet. There’s so much to you, I can't figure it out yet.” Lucas had almost forgotten what he had asked just a few moments ago.

Behind him Lucas heard the bell over the restaurant's door tinkling, ignoring it. “Not even an idea?” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Eliott looked away from Lucas for once, looking at something over Lucas’ shoulder. His smile fell, eyes flashing for just a second with what looked almost like pain. Lucas frowned, turning around in his seat to find what Eliott was looking at. Two boys had clearly just entered the restaurant and were greeting the same cheerful host from earlier. One of the boys had dark curly hair and olive skin, a warm smile as he said something to the host. The other boy looked scarily familiar, going to follow the host on his way to another empty table. 

“Uh, excuse me, can we actually cancel that dessert order and just get the bill, please?” Lucas spun in his seat, eyes widening as he watched Eliott speaking with a server, darkened eyes still looking across the restaurant. 

“Wait, what?” Lucas blurted, eyebrows knitted together.

 Eliott shook his head dismissively. “Leave it. Don't worry about it.” As if he could tell how Lucas wasn't happy with this reply, his face softened and he reached across the table, taking both of Lucas’ hands and almost pleading, “Please?” His blue eyes shined with desperation and new tears, begging Lucas to drop the subject. How could Lucas say no to that? 

A few minutes later, they were back out in the street, under the glow of the street lamps and the car headlights. It was beginning to drizzle a tiny bit and Lucas looked up at the sky, feeling the droplets hitting his face. The sky was significantly darker than when they went inside earlier, now an inky grey as it released the thousand tiny pellets of water. 

Eliott's hand circled around his wrist once again, pulling Lucas’ attention from the sky and back to an even prettier shade of grey. He was smiling broadly again, back to his usual bright self after leaving the restaurant. “Come on, I know somewhere we can get dry.” His voice was barely a whisper, firm hand tugging gently on Lucas’ wrist. Lucas nodded and then they were jogging down the street again. 

The rain grew heavier and heavier every minute, drenching them both, making Lucas’ hair stick to his face. Their feet slapped against the concrete ground, splashing puddles at their heels which mingled with the onslaught of rain and giggles. They narrowly dodged a couple holding hands, a man with a huge black umbrella and a trio of girls scuttling past with their jumpers over their heads to keep from getting soaked. Lucas was panting as he struggled to sprint after the boy holding his wrist, grinning from ear to ear, laughs tumbling out. 

They finally stopped a few minutes later, soaked to the skin and out of breath. Eliott let go of Lucas’, putting his hands on his knees while trying to steady his breaths. They were standing in a deserted courtyard, lit only by a single flickering street light that washed them in a warm orange glow. One of the buildings surrounding them looked abandoned, covered in graffiti and most of its windows smashed or boarded up. Lucas had no idea where they were. 

“Where are we?” he asked breathlessly, pushing his wet hair back out of his face. 

Eliott huffed a laugh, eyes twinkling as he gazed up at Lucas from where he still leaned on his knees. Straightening up, Eliott looked around the desolate street, running his fingers through his hair. “No idea, actually,” he breathed. 

“What? But I thought you said…” 

Eliott laughed, taking a step towards him. They were standing a metre away from each other for whatever reason, staring at each other. Eliott was barely more than a silhouette as he stood on the edge of the orange light, bright smile barely noticeable on his face. Lucas however, was completely in darkness now, having just moved out of the luminescence of the overhead lantern.

“I come to this place a lot when I want to be alone, but I don't actually know anywhere around here except that pizza place,” Eliott explained, taking another tentative step forwards. Lucas took a step of his own, heart racing for another reason than sprinting for ten minutes. 

He wheezed a laughed, shaking his head incredulously though he grinned. “So why’d you take me here if there’s nothing here?” Lucas asked, gesturing around the empty street. 

Eliott shrugged, droplets of rain splashing out as his hair moved. “I was biding my time for another idea, but this is all I’ve got. Like I said, I come here when I want to be alone with my thoughts because nobody seems to come this way.”

“And you took me here? To the place you want to be alone?” 

“Yes. Because I don’t mind being alone with you.” 

Lucas had no reply for that. He had nothing to the intensity of the other boy’s stare. Lucas bit his lip, looking back at the other boy with as much intensity. 

Eliott took another step forwards. “Are you afraid of the dark or something? Of getting your clothes soaked?” he teased, head tilted to the side.

Lucas gasped offendedly, shaking his head insistently. “I am _not_  afraid of the dark. I just can't see a thing,” he insisted, pouting childishly. 

“So you're not afraid of the dark?”

“Nope. Not afraid of the dark.”

Eliott took another step forward, leaving only a few feet between them. He was out of the light now, only a tiny halo of light surrounding his back, giving him the effect of glowing like he was stepping right out of heaven. Lucas shook his head. “Not afraid.” 

Eliott laughed. “Yes you are.”

“Nope. No, I'm not.” 

“Oh, but you are.”

“This is getting ridiculous, Eliott. We're just going in circles now,” Lucas groaned, exasperated. 

“Okay, if you're so brave, come here,” Eliott challenged, only a couple steps away.

“Wha–?” Lucas began before feeling Eliott grasping his wrist yet again and yanking him forwards. He stumbled over his feet, running into Eliott with a yelp. Eliott grinned, hand on the back of Lucas’ neck and pulling him into a kiss. Lucas' eyes widened for a split second in surprise and then he had his arms wrapped loosely, desperately around Eliott's neck, stumbling into the light of the street lamp. 

Every nerve ending in Lucas’ body lit up like a fireplace, engulfing him as he desperately grabbed at Eliott everywhere. His hands mapped over his shoulders and down his back and into his hair, fingers searching and scratching everything in reach. Lucas felt his heart soar, grinning into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Eliott's hair. Flames licked at his skin, warming him despite the autumn rain on his skin. 

Eliott grinned against his lips, cupping Lucas’ face with his hands. Their teeth clashed as they kissed, though neither minded, pushing and pulling insistently like the kiss was what they needed their whole lives. 

After a good decade or so, they finally pulled apart for breath. Their chests were heaving and Eliott's hair was plastered to his face along with a goofy smile. With a sigh of mirth and relief, Lucas fell into Eliott's arms again, tucking his face into his jacket hood and holding him tightly by the torso. Eliott laughed, wrapping his arms delicately around his neck, pulling him even closer to his chest. 

Lucas had never felt more bright and alive than now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on tumblr @matteo-shreibner ;D


	9. Trust Me

The next morning, Lucas woke up to the sound of a car horn going off outside his window, a bright light glaring into the room. Groaning, Lucas rolled over in bed to face the window, which he saw was open and with the curtains drawn open. Yawning and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, Lucas slowly sat up in bed, blinking around the room. The spot next to him in bed was slightly messy and slept in, the covers seemingly tossed to one side like someone had been there and left. 

Eliott was gone. 

Sighing, Lucas climbed out of bed, pulling the nearest shirt over his head and making his way through the house. He could hear familiar voices talking and laughing and a strange cooking smell filled his nostrils as he rounded the corner to find Manon and Mika making crepes on the stove. Lucas leaned against the doorway into the kitchen, clearing his throat. 

“Oh! You’re up!” Mika exclaimed cheerfully, turning away from the stove to lean back against the countertop, smiling knowingly at Lucas. “We met your boyfriend not long ago, by the way,” Mika added. 

“Mika!” Manon chastised, elbowing Mika in the side and looking apologetically over her shoulder. 

“What? Were we supposed to pretend we didn’t see Eliott leaving the flat after staying the night?” Mika asked, eyebrows raised, sticking his face in Manon’s. She rolled her eyes, pushing him away with her hand on his forehead. Huffing, Mika stomped the few steps to the small table in the kitchen, pouting as he dropped into the seat. “She’s never any fun,” he muttered, leaning his elbows on the table.

Manon sighed, flipped the pancake on its other side, followed by a satisfying sizzle. Moving the pan a little, Manon looked back over her shoulder at Lucas once again. “Eliott wanted to apologise for disappearing so soon, but he got a call from his brother to come home,” Manon explained simply, tipped another pancake onto the plate by the stove. “But he said he’ll probably see you in school on Monday.” 

Lucas nodded, settling down into the seat across from Mika. “He really did look sad to be leaving you. He was practically pouting!” Mika added, leaning back against the wall in his chair. 

“I’m sure he was, Mika. And he was also carrying a giant blue fish that can speak Portuguese,” Lucas deadpanned, rolling his eyes. Manon snickered, pouring more batter into the pan. 

Mika gasped, looking utterly betrayed. “How dare you!” he yelped, getting up from his seat, chair hitting the wall, “Nobody in this house appreciates me at all!” Huffing dramatically, shoulders drawn back, Mika began to march heavily out of the room. He nearly took out poor Lisa on his way. 

“Mika, would you stop shouting? I’m trying to sleep,” she whined, stepping into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. 

“See what I mean?!” Mika screeched, followed shortly by a slam of his bedroom door. 

With everyone else finally gone, Manon and Lucas were left in the amicable silence, only broken by the sizzling of the crepes on the stove and the occasional chirping of birds outside their window. Lucas sighed lightly, drumming his fingers on the tabletop and reaching out to thumb one of the petals of the flowers set in a vase in the centre of the table.

A few minutes later, Manon finished making crepes and shut off the stove. She separated out the many crepes onto various plates, carrying two over to the table along with chocolate syrup, honey, sugar, lemon and cream. 

“So, you and Eliott, huh?” Manon finally asked while she squeezed a lemon slice over her own crepe and folding it over itself. She gave him a knowing smile as she reached for the sugar, smirking. 

Lucas huffed, kicking her shin under the table while he reached for the chocolate syrup. “We literally just kissed last night and then we came here. Nothing more than that,” Lucas explained, practically drowning his poor crepes. 

“You _just_  kissed? Nothing more?” she asked suggestively, taking a first bite of her crepes, raising her eyebrows questioningly. 

“You're worse than Mika!” he accused, using a spoon to plop a heap of cream onto his crepe, earning a look from his friend. “I swear nothing else happened, okay? The guy left anyway, so i don't even know if he wants anything serious or not,” he added, pouring another dollop of cream. He was a sugar fiend and he knew it. 

“You're going to get a cavity at this rate,” Manon stated, rolling her eyes. “And you can't know that. I saw Eliott when he left and he looked devastated to be leaving. If you ask me, he definitely wants something serious, Lu.” She put down her knife and fork and reached over the table to squeeze Lucas’ hands gently, smiling fondly, head tilted to the side. “It can't hurt to see where it goes. It would be nice to see you smiling regularly for once.” 

Lucas nodded, unsure of how else to reply. Instead, he simply folded over his crepe and dug in, squirting cream everywhere in the process. He looked up at Manon and after a few seconds, they both burst into a fit of giggles. 

Lucas had almost forgotten how much he liked Manon’s company. 

◇

On Monday at school, Lucas had Biology first thing. He was unpacking his backpack at the table, unusually early for once, when Imane hurried in, dropping her bag onto the desk and heaving a sigh. She looked quite nice that day,if Lucas was being honest, dressed in an olive green jumper, blue jeans and her hair wrapped up in a brightly coloured floral headband. 

Nevertheless, she looked stressed beyond relief. 

“You good?” Lucas asked, tilting his head and knitting his eyebrows with concern. She was now sitting in her seat, bag still unpacked and her face in her hands. “Imane?” 

Imane looked sideways, blinking in confusion as though she hadn't seen him. “Yeah, sorry. My brother was up all night long fighting with my parents about his job, so I didn't sleep very well,” she explained, finally opening up her backpack and pulling out her work for that class.

“Good morning, class,” their teacher announced as she walked into the room, smiling at the class and going over to her computer to take attendance. 

“So, do anything nice this weekend?” Imane asked conversationally, flicking half-heartedly through her biology notebook. 

Lucas choked on some spit, sputtering uselessly. Imane paused her fiddling and looked at him incredulously, eyebrows raised high. “Uh, not much, no,” he choked out in reply, clearing his throat, “Yann came over yesterday so we played video games, but nothing else out of the ordinary at all.” 

Imane did not look convinced, leaning closer to him with a deep frown on her face. “That sure sounds like something you would say if you _had_  done something out of the ordinary,” she accused, tilting her head and rotating her wrist to gesture for him to spill it.

“And what would someone say if they _hadn't_  done anything out of the ordinary?” 

Imane shrugged, mocking confusion. “I dunno. Maybe they wouldn't choke upon being asked a casual question and then overcompensate their reply?” she suggested, smiling innocently. “Oh, do go on, dear Lucas. Spill the beans before you choke to death,” she teased, poking him in the side and making him squirm away, barely containing the squeak that threatened to break loose. 

Lucas sighed, looking around the room to see if anyone was listening. “Okay, fine. But you need to promise not to tell anyone,” he whispered, still looking around for any listeners. 

“You're not pregnant, are you?” Imane asked, feigning shock. Upon being shot with daggers by the other boy, she relented and said sincerely, “Okay, I promise.” 

“After school on Friday, I ran into Eliott on my way to the bus stop,” he murmured, “And we went to some pizza place and—” 

Imane cut him off, saying, “Ah, yes, my brother said he thought he saw you. He said you left soon after, though.”

Lucas swallowed, thinking back to that moment in the restaurant when Eliott had seen the two boys walking in and almost immediately decided to hurry out of there. Lucas made a mental note to self to ask about that later. “I knew I recognised him from somewhere,” Lucas replied, snapping his fingers together. This earned a shush from his teacher and various eyes on them. So much for avoiding attention. Lucas leaned closer to Imane again, lowering his voice even further. “Anyway, after we left the restaurant…” he paused, looking around one last time, “We kissed.” 

Imane sat up straight, eyes going wide as saucers and her eyebrows almost going off her face. “Seriously?” she asked, a smile in her tone already. Lucas nodded bashfully. “I knew you were flirting with someone,” she said, elbowing her friend in the side a few times, smiling knowingly. 

“But it isn't, like, official or anything,” Lucas pointed out, feeling his gut twist at the uncertainty of the situation, however nice the kisses had been. “He left before I got up and I haven't seen or heard from him since.” 

Imane rolled her eyes. “You _slept with him?_ ” she asked, eyes wide once again. 

“I didn't. Well, technically yes, but in the completely innocent sense. We've _only_  kissed. That's all.” He was rambling at this point, he knew it, but Lucas couldn't care enough to stop. “But then by the time I got up the next morning, he was gone and he hasn't messaged me since then. Maybe he doesn't want anything serious with me.” Lucas finished his rant and leaned his elbows on the table, chewing on one of his nails as he looked at Imane, awaiting a reply.

Imane scoffed. “Trust me, Lucas. Eliott will want something serious, I can pretty much guarantee that,” she insisted, a tone of certainty evident in her voice. And then, as if their conversation had never happened, she opened both her own and Lucas’ textbooks to the right pages and began reading the required texts. 

◇

Lucas was standing alone in the lunch queue, drumming his fingers on his thighs and looking over the options when he felt someone poking him in the side. Lucas flinched away, banging his elbow into the side and gasping, only to find a laughing Eliott by his side.

“Hey,” Eliott said lightly, nodding his head in greeting. 

Lucas matched his smile, scooting over to allow Eliott to join him in the queue. “Hey,” he replied, scanning the food displays. 

Eliott brushed past him to reach for one of the sandwiches in the display saying, “I wanted to apologise for leaving you so suddenly the other day. There was a bit of family drama and I was so caught up in it I didn't have a chance to look at my phone at all.” 

Lucas smiled softly, grabbing a salad from the lunch counter and placing it on his tray. “It's fine. Manon said Leo called you,” Lucas replied, pushing his tray down the queue and taking another few steps forward. 

“Still, I felt bad for leaving you like that,” Eliott replied, stepping along with Lucas. He leaned down to whisper right in Lucas' ear, breath hot against his skin. “There must be some way I can make up for it.” Lucas’ whole face burned bright scarlet and he looked up at Eliott, eyes wide at Eliott's borderline suggestive comment. 

Lucas cleared his throat, stumbling through the queue again after missing a good few other students making their way into the cafeteria with their lunches. “I think I have some ideas…” Lucas replied, handing one of the cafeteria ladies a couple of euros to pay for his lunch and thanking her for the change. 

“Oh yeah?” Eliott asked, pulling out his wallet. Lucas lingered around behind the cash point, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk. Eliott fell into step with Lucas as he started to make his way over to the table where Yann and Arthur were sitting across from each other, bickering about something. “Text me when you have any good ideas,” Eliott added as he sat down beside Yann and Lucas settled next to Arthur. 

“Good ideas for what?” Arthur asked, turning away from his argument with Yann in favour of some gossip from his friends.

Across the table, Eliott and Lucas shared a look and replied together, “Nothing.” This only caused them to fall into a fit of childish giggles and some strange looks from their friends. 

“You guys are weird,” Yann commented, turning back to Arthur. “But seriously, Arthur, Toy Story 2 was not the best Toy Story.” Lucas, who had just shoveled a forkful of salad into his mouth, promptly choked at Yann's comment, coughing out several leaves and shredded carrots.

“Uh, it so clearly was, Yann. It was an underrated masterpiece,” Arthur shot back, reaching for the water jug on the table to hand to Lucas, and gesturing wildly, “We meet Jessie for the first time and that scene when Woody gets a makeover? Absolute cinematic perfection. Tell them, guys.” Arthur looked expectantly between Eliott and Lucas. 

Lucas shrugged. “I barely remember the second one. I prefer Toy Story 3,” he replied, glancing back at Eliott. Yann was wearing a proud grin, reaching over the table to give Lucas a fist bump. 

“But, Eliott, surely you agree with me, right?” 

“Sorry, Arthur. The third is the best Toy Story,” Eliott replied apologetically. Arthur sat up straight, jaw dropping in horror and betrayal.

At that instant, Basile appeared from behind carrying a tray of food. “Ooh, are we talking about Toy Story? The second is the best one,” Basile said excitedly, plopping down beside Lucas. 

“ _See?_ ” 

Lucas laughed, patting Arthur's hand and commenting, “Arthur, I think that tells you who's actually right.” Both Arthur and Basile looked scandalised, causing the other three boys to fall into fits of guffaws and teases. 

Lucas caught sight of Eliott as they teased Basile and saw him typing something into his phone for a second. As he slipped his phone into his back pocket, he caught Lucas’ eye and smiled widely, wiggling his eyebrows. In Lucas’ own back pocket, he felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out to read under the table. 

**Eliott:** You’re cute when you laugh. I like it. 

Lucas gaped at his message, face setting his cheeks on fire and looked back at Eliott. With all the air of innocence, Eliott beamed at Lucas and then turned to Yann to agree with one of his comments about Basile’s striped t-shirt he was always wearing. 

Lucas sighed, looking around at the boys at the table all laughing and talking together easily and in that moment, he knew Eliott was there to stay regardless of his relationship status with Lucas.


	10. I have an idea

**Eliott:**  Are you free next period? 

**Me:**  I can be, it's just French. Why? 

**Eliott:**  Meet me in the first floor toilets ;)

It was the last few minutes of Literature and Lucas was standing with the rest of the class by the door while they waited for the bell to ring to dismiss them. He turned his body away from the rest of his peers in order to read the messages from Eliott over again, cheeks a bright crimson. Finally the bell rang and Lucas shoved his phone into his jacket pocket, joining the crowd in the hallway and pushing past everyone on their way to their next class periods. 

Lucas checked over his shoulder for anyone watching and upon seeing the coast was clear, slipped inside the boys’ toilets. Standing alone against the sinks was Eliott, wearing a massive grin, pushing himself off when he saw Lucas. “Hi! You came!” he chimed, closing the distance between them and pulling Lucas against him into another electrifying kiss. 

Lucas wrapped his arms around Eliott's neck as Eliott's hands found his face, missing him insistently. His heart hammered against his chest and he felt Eliott pushing him back, back, back into the larger stall, shutting the door behind them with his foot. Lucas gasped as he felt his back being pushed against the handrail on the wall, feeling Eliott's tongue pressing inside his mouth fervently. Desperately, feverishly, Lucas grabbed Eliott's face, fighting back for a semblance of dominance as Eliott continued to push him ever more against the wall. 

Lucas was feeling his way all over Eliott, like he couldn't keep still, hands roaming over his shoulders and down his back and over to his hips and around to his chest, mapping out every single inch of the other boy's body so he could memorise it forever. Eliott couldn't seem to decide between keeping his hands on Lucas’ cheeks or buried in his hair, moving back and forth every second. 

Lucas flipped them around finally, pressing Eliott against the wall, smiling into the kiss as Eliott tugged lightly on his hair. “Fuck, how can you be–so beautiful–even in a toilet–stall?” Eliott breathed between kisses, eyes twinkling as he pulled away from the kiss and tilted his head against the wall. He looked a mess, gorgeous brown hair sticking up every which way and his lips swollen and wet from being kissed so intently by Lucas. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Lucas replied easily with a smirk, taking a deep breath from barely breathing in the last five minutes. 

Eliott shook his head, closing his eyes momentarily and whispering, “The fact that you can't see just how drop dead gorgeous you look is a crime. Have you had your sight checked recently?” Eliott slung his arms over Lucas’ shoulder, smiling fondly down at him and touching their foreheads together. 

“I have. Which is why I know you're way too hot for me,” Lucas replied jokingly. 

Eliott furrowed his eyebrows, pulling away abruptly and shaking his head. The air around them suddenly turned cold and thick, like a winter fog had suddenly engulfed them both. “That's not true, Lucas. Don't say that,” Eliott stated, frowning.

“But you are. You're way out of my league.” 

Eliott shook his head again, holding onto Lucas’ cheeks tightly and pulling him closer. “I don't know who told you otherwise, but you absolutely deserve everything good in the world. I'm not too good for you at all, Lucas, trust me,” Eliott rambled, punctuating his statement with a short but assertive kiss again. 

Before Lucas could reply, though he had no idea what else he could possibly say, the door to the toilet creaked open and he heard footsteps leading to the urinals. Eliott raised his eyebrows, covering his lips with a single finger while they waited in the dead silence for the guy to finish. 

After an agonising minute and a half, the guy finally left. Much to Lucas’ disgust, he didn't even wash his hands. Once they heard the door close, Eliott sighed and sat down on top of the toilet seat. It was suddenly awkward between them, a large plummet from only minutes ago. 

They could get back to that moment, right? 

“Eliott?” 

Eliott looked up just in time for Lucas to dive into another kiss, falling half into Eliott's lap. He kissed back just as intently, holding onto the back of Lucas’ neck and pulling him completely onto his lap. Lucas squeaked in surprise, eyes going wide before he melted into the kiss again, holding onto both of Eliott's shoulders. 

As they parted ways for their next classes half an hour later, Lucas was a right state, hair sticking up on ends, clothes slightly crooked and face a bright pink. He smiled to himself as he joined the rest of his classmates on their way to class.

◇

The next day, Lucas was just making his way out into the courtyard on his way home for the day when he was cornered by none other than Eliott. Lucas stumbled back in surprise, grinning up at the other boy and tucking his earbuds in his pocket, having just taken them out to listen to music on his way home. 

“Hello,” Eliott replied, beaming like the sun and practically bouncing on his heels. 

Lucas knitted his eyebrows together suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. “Should I be worried?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt at looking stern. Eliott shrugged. “I have an idea and I need your help,” Eliott explained simply. 

“Okay, so I most definitely should be worried then.” 

Eliott rolled his eyes and reached down to grab Lucas’ sleeve, beginning to drag him across the courtyard towards the exit. Lucas scuttled after him in an effort to keep up with his large stride, almost faceplanting multiple times. On their way out of the school yard, Lucas caught sight of Basile talking to Daphné, his face pulled into something like sadness while Daphné looked assertive and almost angry. Probably rejecting his flirting efforts again. 

“Eliott, where the hell are we going?” Lucas asked as Eliott began tugging him across the street and towards a small chemist's.

Eliott peered over his shoulder, smiling softly and leading Lucas inside the little shop. “It's a surprise,” he said by way of explanation, looking around the tops of the aisles before heading down one a few aisles from the entrance.

“Well, that's ominous,” Lucas replied, following the taller boy down an aisle of hair products of many kinds. 

Eliott stopped abruptly near the end of the shelves, causing Lucas to crash right into him with a comedic thumping sound, stumbling back and squeaking embarrassingly. At the end of this aisle there was a shockingly large variety of hair dyes staring Lucas in the face, a rainbow of dye colours and people smiling or smoldering with different colours. 

“Eliott, why are we by the hair dye?” Lucas asked slowly, glancing back and forth between Eliott and the display. / Eliott crouched down in front of one of the brands, frowning in concentration as he skimmed his fingers along the thousands of different boxes. “I want to dye my hair black,” he replied shortly, pulling out one of the boxes and inspecting it closely for a few seconds before returning it to the shelf and grabbing another shade. 

“You want to _what?_ ” 

Eliott looked up from his place on the floor, shooting Lucas a wide eyed puppy dog smile. “I want to dye my hair black. I think it'll be cool,” he explained, turning back to the shelves to grab multiple different black hair dyes from multiple different brands. “Then I'll finally have a full on black aesthetic, see?” Eliott stood up, showcasing his signature black skinny jeans and black hoodie, presenting his hand over himself. 

“Don't you think dying your hair _black_ is maybe a step too far?” Lucas suggested, watching as Eliott read the various labels on the boxes and kept on putting them back on the shelf only to grab yet another. 

Eliott shrugged, squinting at a vibrant green box. “It's just hair,” he stated, shaking his head and replacing the green box back on its shelf. “Plus, maybe then people will actually be able to tell me and Leo apart,” he added, stuffing more of the boxes back in their original spots. “I think I'll get this, this and this one, just to be sure,” Eliott said finally, holding up the three individual boxes. They all looked black to Lucas, but he wasn't the artist here.

“Come,” Eliott said over his shoulder, already marching down the aisle with his selection carried in his arms. Lucas jogged after him. 

“This is insane,” Lucas mumbled as Eliott dumped his pile of things onto the counter and pulled out his wallet. Eliott chuckled, smiling sideways at Lucas and handing the cashier 20€. He slipped his change into his wallet, thanked the man and grabbed the plastic bag he was given. He strode across the store and out onto the busy street, plastic bag swinging by his side while Lucas ran after him. Eliott was particularly restless that day, Lucas decided. 

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in Lucas’ flat with various newspapers spread out over the kitchen table and several bottles of dyes scattered about. Eliott was wearing one of Lucas’ old grey t-shirts and a frayed navy blue towel wrapped around his shoulders, prancing around the kitchen preparing the dyes. Lucas could do nothing but stand in the doorway and watch him, half-amused and half-worried for Eliott's poor hair. 

“Right, so this says to put a test job on for 15 minutes,” Eliott read off one of the boxes, “But this one says to put that on for 20 while the one on the table there says for half and hour.” Eliott pointed back and forth between the different dyes, looking increasingly more excited. “Can I just leave them all on for like 20 minutes and hope for the best?” 

“ _E_ _liott_ , you have to leave them on for however long the boxes tell you. Do you want to burn your scalp off?” Lucas chastised, tugging one of the boxes out of his hands and putting it on the table. “How about you try _one_  of the dyes and if it works you put it on everywhere instead of wasting time doing all three at once,” Lucas suggested, leaning against the countertop and frowning sternly at the other boy. 

“Ooh! Good idea!” Eliott exclaimed, grabbing Lucas’ face suddenly and kissing him quickly. “You're a genius!” 

“Which one are you going to try first?” 

Eliott pulled away, looking over the boxes for a contemplative moment before deciding. He held up one of the boxes which showed a white woman with startling white teeth and a jet black bob cut. “This one has the best colour and it's only on for 20 minutes,” Eliott replied, already opening up the box and pulling out the various items and tossing the box onto the table. “Lu, do you have any bowls you don't mind losing so we can mix all this shit?” he asked, spreading his arms out over the table where the things were scattered haphazardly on top of the newspapers. 

“Uh, Eliott?” Lucas said, walking over to the table and picking up the small plastic bowl that came with the box, holding it out to Eliott whose face lit up instantly in a grin. 

“It came with a bowl?! That's awesome. They really think of everything, don't they? Like, when they were designing this dye they thought ‘wouldn't it be great if it came _with_  a bowl?’ Totally worth the 6€,” Eliott rambled, opening up a packet labelled ‘Developer’ and squeezing it into the small bowl. “I'm sure this is right. Right? The dye mixes with the developing stuff and then it can work. I mean, who cares if it doesn't, we have two other dyes that we can try again with if I'm wrong.” 

Lucas knitted his eyebrows together as Eliott started fiddling with the actual dye, which was in a small tube with a screw cap, humming some random tune under his breath. Something was definitely going on with Eliott, but Lucas couldn't figure it out. He could just be in a very good mood, but Lucas had seen good moods before and they were never this… odd.

Lucas paused Eliott's hands mid air and looked over at the box sitting on the table, grabbing it to try to read the small print. “Eliott, why don't you just, I don't know, _read the directions?_ ” He held the box up in front of Eliott’s face, raising his eyebrows.

Eliott pushed the box aside and said, “I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I've seen people do it before and I doubt there's much variation across all the different dyes. Plus, I'm an artist so I'm probably right.” And then he was squeezing out all the strangely grey goop into the bowl and reaching for the fancy application brush. 

Lucas quickly scanned over the directions on the box, eyes frantically darting back and forth between the box and Eliott already mixing the dye and developer enthusiastically in the bowl. He heaved a sigh of relief when it seemed Eliott was in fact right. 

“Eliott, are you sure you should be mixing that so–” Lucas began before a large drop of the darkening sludge-coloured goo splattered onto the floor, “–fast.” His roommates were going to kill him. 

While Eliott continued mixing around the dye and developer, Lucas grabbed a sheet of paper towel and started clumsily, feverishly cleaning the dye from the ground before it would stain too noticeably. As if summoned by his thoughts, Manon suddenly appeared in the kitchen, stopping abruptly in the doorway at the sight of the mess going on.

“What on Earth is going on in here, boys?” she asked, looking between Eliott who was pausing his stirring efforts and Lucas still crouched on the floor with a paper towel. “Who's dying their hair?” she added, wandering over to look in Eliott's saucer 

“Me. I'm dying it black! See?” Eliott babbled, grabbing the empty box off the table and shoving it into Manon's hands. “I wanted to finally complete my all black aesthetic, you know? I'll walk into a room and BAM! Everyone will see the black and they'll all faint at the sight of it because it's so cool!” 

Manon nodded with interest, placing the box gently onto the table. “Do you want to borrow some of my hair clips for that mop of yours?” she suggested, ruffling Eliott's hair. 

“Yes! That would be great! Like a proper hair stylist you see on tv,” Eliott replied with a grin, returning to his stirring once more. 

Manon disappeared back into her room, leaving the two boys alone again. Lucas finally stood up from the ground and tossed the wadded up towel into the bin under their sink. He turned back to Eliott. He was still stirring the increasingly darker mush tapping one of his toes with an unknown beat. “Eliott, is everything okay? You're acting kind of…different,” Lucas asked, leaning back against the counter.

“I've got clips!” Manon announced then, waltzing into the room, holding the silver hair clips into the air triumphantly. “You guys want any help? I don't have anymore homework,” Manon asked. 

“No thanks, Manon. Lucas and I have it all under control,” Eliott replied cheerfully. _Do we though?_ Lucas mentally asked himself as Eliott finally stopped stirring the sludge. “Can you do it for me? I don't have a mirror and I don't want to get it in my eye or something and go blind or burn my skin or whatever else this dye stuff can do to me.” He held out the applicator for Lucas who hesitantly took it from him and then the bowl.

Eliott settled into one of the kitchen chairs and Lucas placed the bowl onto the table. He finally noticed some rubber gloves from the packet and put them both on before dipping the brush end into the dark goo. Gently, Lucas searched for a bit of hair near Eliott's temple and carefully spread the liquid evenly over his hair.

“And now we wait!” Eliott announced while Lucas set a timer for 20 minutes on his phone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I apologise  
> 2\. I KNOW Maxence's hair is no longer black but I wrote this chapter the day after he dyed it so...


	11. Hairpocalypse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: very vague smut

“So, what shall we do while we wait?” Eliott asked, getting up from his seat. 

Lucas shrugged, peeling the disposable gloves off, careful not to rip them, and dropped them onto the table. “There's not much we can do in just 20 minutes. We could watch tv?” Lucas suggested, gesturing over the kitchen counter towards the empty living room. 

“That's _boring_. Isn't there something else more interesting?” Eliott whined, pouting.

“I'm sure there is, but I don't think there's much to do besides watch Netflix or read a book,” Lucas said simply, shrugging. “We could cook something. That could take up some time.”

Which is how they ended up with Eliott standing at the stove with the weirdest concoction Lucas had ever seen. It had started out as scrambled eggs, but then Eliott decided to add various other ingredients like cinnamon and fennel to the dish. It smelled terrible and Lucas was almost certain there were some bits of egg shell in the mix as well, but he was too busy laughing at Eliott's excuses for the different additions to the sizzling pan. 

“And then the fennel will create a nice mixture with the cinnamon because it'll bring a sweet and salty contrast,” Eliott was saying as he sprinkled the strange green plant into the eggs. “Should we add syrup? Do you have that? Or bacon maybe. That would be even more like breakfast,” Eliott continued, looking over his shoulder at Lucas who was simply watching in awe. 

“We have honey somewhere,” Lucas suggested, opening and closing various cupboards in search of the bear shaped bottle.

“Oh, fuck, that's perfect!” Eliott exclaimed as Lucas presented the bottle. He squeezed a generous amount of honey into the pan, stirring the eggs all the while. “Too bad you don't have bacon. Next time we could make that. Or we can bake blueberry muffins with bacon! That would be delicious.” 

Lucas shook his head, leaning over to turn off the stove with Eliott split the “PONI” onto two plates. Lucas took both of the plates and grabbed a couple of forks, carrying the plates over to the kitchen counter. Eliott was almost skipping behind him, hopping into the chair and grabbing a fork. 

Lucas sniffed the strange meal and felt his stomach turn, gagging at the odd odour of eggs, cinnamon and honey. Wrinkling his nose Lucas said, “Okay, that smells awful, Eliott. We can't eat that.” He poked his fork into the eggs, already gagging. 

“It'll be fine. On a count of three, we can both try it. I'm certain it will be delicious, trust me,” Eliott announced,already scooping a generous helping onto his fork. “One...two… three!” It most certainly was not delicious. 

In an instant, Lucas was sprinting over to the sink, coughing and spluttering the revolting food into the sink. Laughing, Eliott hurried over after him, spitting it out as well. Lucas continued to whine and gag as he turned on the sink, rinsing his mouth out. Tears pricked at his eyes at the foul taste, coughing water and leftover bits of egg into the basin. 

“Remind me never to let you cook again,” Lucas breathed out, shutting the sink off and scowling at Eliott. 

A few minutes later, Eliott was back in the chair with multiple clips here and there and Lucas was armed with the dye applicator. Gently, Lucas spread the freezing cold gel over Eliott's hair, careful not to miss a spot. Eliott's eyes were closed as he let Lucas apply the stuff onto his hair, chattering nonsensically all the while about whatever seemed to pop into his head. 

“When I come to school tomorrow, what if, when everyone saw my new hair, everyone died? As if you were so good at dying my hair that everyone just lost it when they saw how good my hair looks and then I go to jail for manslaughter because it was technically _my_  hair,” Eliott was rambling, letting Lucas comb his fingers through his locks to get extra dye off, “But then because of how good you were at dying my hair, everyone in the world wanted you to dye their hair. But then everyone starts dropping dead because you're so good at it and everyone is getting it dyed and so you finally go to jail for mass murder. But then you and I are in prison together and we escape thanks to a smuggler and we help smuggle drugs across the world on a giant boat. 

“Everyone in the whole world is obviously freaking out about it because so many people have died and they're all afraid that now that you're out of prison, you'll want to dye everyone's hair again so that you can take over the world. And then you become this infamous criminal and we'll avoid everyone by just sailing the world forever and ever and we'll be on the news and everyone will talk about us, but then we'll get bored with sailing so much and we'll go back on land and discover that even more people have died because of your skills and you know what they'll call it?” Eliott glanced up through his lashes, beaming broadly. Lucas shook his head, dipping the applicator again. “It’ll be a full on hairpocalypse! Because it was my hair and your excellent dye skills that caused the apocalypse!”

Lucas chuckled, tilting Eliott's head to the side to get a better angle for the sides. He was almost finished now, furrowing his brows and biting his lip in concentration. “Do you think animals have feelings? I think they do. You can tell that cats and dogs have feelings, but do lizards have such complex emotions?” Eliott asked suddenly, flinching in surprise as Lucas poked his neck with the brush covered in the cool liquid. “Can chickens mourn? Do snakes get jealous? Do raccoons feel complex emotions? How do I not know that? What else? Can fish feel insecure about their scales?”

Lucas wheezed a laugh,shaking his head fondly. “I don't know how complex their emotions are, but I'm sure animals can feel at least a few,” Lucas replied, moving one of the clips over to get another strand of hair coloured. “Speaking of raccoons, have you got any idea about how you'd draw me? You know, if you're still thinking about that,” Lucas added. 

“I am still thinking about it, actually. But I'm torn between a few animals,” Eliott replied, “But I won't tell you just yet. You'll just have to wait until I decide.” 

“There, all done,” Lucas announced, dropping the brush into the pretty much empty bowl. “And please tell me soon about the drawing, I'm _dyeing_  of curiosity.” Lucas raised his eyebrows, gesturing to the empty bowl and Eliott's head. He was proud to say Eliott promptly guffawed, clapping his hands together as he laughed at Lucas’ truly awful pun.

But it made Eliott laugh and that was all that mattered. 

Another 20 minutes later, Eliott was leaning over the sink again while Lucas attempted to rinse out his hair using the strange hose thing. The black dye was flooding into the drain in rivulets as Lucas carefully helped to drench Eliott's hair and remove all the excess dye from it. Lucas massaged Eliott's scalp with one of his hands, trying to make sure the dye was all out.

“Okay, I think that's enough rinsing,” Eliott complained, pushing Lucas back and standing up straight again. He managed to splash Lucas in the face with his dripping wet hair, much to Eliott's delight. “Sorry! I'm like a wet dog!” he exclaimed as Lucas rolled his eyes.

Lucas used the towel around Eliott's neck to dry off Eliott's hair, rubbing it vigorously between his hands. Once it was mostly dried, Lucas tossed the towel onto the disgraced kitchen table and stepped back to admire his work.

Eliott seemed to be on the right track. He _was_ drop dead gorgeous with his new hair. It was a startling contrast with his pale skin, making the blue of his eyes and the pink of his lips pop out like a 3D image. His hair was sticking up haphazardly after its clumsy drying method, but this only served to improve the overall look. 

“Holy shit, Eliott. You look amazing,” Lucas breathed, eyes wide. 

Eliott grinned, eyes sparkling at the compliment. “Where's the toilet, I wanna see in the mirror!” Eliott asked, already pushing past out of the kitchen. Lucas told him where to go and he followed him into the toilet where Eliott could admire his new colour. “Woah! That's me! I look totally different! Fuck!” Eliott squealed, running fingers through his hair and leaning closer to the mirror, grinning. 

“Ooh! Can we see the new colour?” Mika's voice appeared on the other side of the door, followed by Manon's voice requesting the same. Eliott opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, pulling on Lucas’ hand. “Damn, kitten, that suits you!” Mika exclaimed, mussing up Eliott's hair. 

Manon nodded, smiling. “It looks awesome! It really makes your eyes pop,” she commented. 

Eliott blushed slightly at all the compliments, waving them all off with his hand. As Mika and Manon disappeared back into their respective rooms, Eliott leaned over and muttered right into Lucas’ ear, “I told you you were going to be brilliant at dying my hair.” Despite the completely innocent sentence, Lucas felt a chill all the way down his spine, shivering from the hot breath that washed over his ear and neck, Eliott’s lips just a centimetre away. When Eliott finally pulled back from Lucas, he was sporting a devilish grin, raising his eyebrows cheekily and running his fingers through his jet black locks. “Is there anything you _can’t_ do?” Eliott asked with a wink. 

Lucas’ jaw dropped and he sputtered pathetically for a reply. But all that came out was a breathy incoherent mess as if he became the physical embodiment of slamming his head on a computer. This only made Eliott laugh harder, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along the corridor. “My room is the last on the left,” Lucas muttered, allowing Eliott to guide him as usual.

“I like your room,” Eliott commented as they made their way inside. He walked over to Lucas’ shelf, skimming his fingers along the wooden panels and looking at the various photographs, DVDs and books he had set along the shelves. “Oh, wow! This is you and the gang! When was this taken?” Eliott asked, pointing excitedly at a photo Lucas had pinned to the side of him, Yann, Basile and Arthur. 

“I think like six months ago? Maybe five? Not too long ago.” 

Eliott beamed, running his hand over the shelf one last time before turning back around to face Lucas with an intensity that should have set Lucas on fire. It definitely did not help with his new hair, making each one of his perfect features stand out. Lucas opened his mouth to say something, anything before Eliott finally cut the distance between them and pulled Lucas into another kiss.

Lucas huffed in surprise, though he recovered quickly. Melting into the ferocity of the kiss, he let his hands wander over Eliott’s body, reveling in the smooth slide of their lips against each other and the fiery eruption in his gut when Eliott licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He felt Eliott pushing him towards his bedroom wall, never once pulling apart, hands gripping tightly to Lucas’ waist and tongue searching his mouth like it was trying to map it out in detail. Lucas felt Eliott lifting his shirt up cautiously and pulled away for the shortest of seconds so he could whip off his shirt, tossing it to the side for later. 

Eliott laughed against his lips, teeth bumping into Lucas’ and hands searching the hills and valleys of Lucas’ body. Soon enough, both boys had their shirts and trousers off, leaving them in nothing but boxer shorts, still making out fervently against the wall. Lucas pushed Eliott back until he stumbled onto the bed, dragging Lucas along with him in a tangle of limbs. Lucas giggled, pulling away from Eliott to admire him in all his glory, thanking the universe for gifting him with such a beautiful man. 

Soon after, they were a muddle of skin, limbs overlapping and intertwining, chests heaving and hearts pounding in unison. They were fireworks setting off on New Years, a burning flame that licked the sides of a house and setting the sky alight. They pushed and pulled, music notes playing a harmony of voices building up and up and up to a crescendo. With a last supernova that engulfed them both, they were left gasping for breath, looking up at the ceiling, entirely blissed out.

“Well that was something,” Lucas breathed, glancing sideways at the other lying next to him, eyes closed serenely. 

Eliott nodded, opening his eyes and turning to look at him. “That was definitely something,” he replied just as breathlessly. “Am I your first?” 

“First guy?”

Eliott nodded.  “Yeah. Yeah you are,” he replied, “Am I yours?” Eliott paused, raising his eyebrows suggestively, a soft smile beginning to appear. "I'll take that as a no, then," Lucas said with a laugh, rolling his eyes. 

Lucas yawned, looking over at the clock on his bedside table, shocked to see it was already almost nine. "I'll be right back. I have to pee," he mumbled through another yawn, carefully stumbling out of bed and pulling on a pair of boxers from the ground and picking up his discarded hoodie. 

Lucas leaned over the sink once he was finished, staring at his face in the mirror. Sometimes, it hit him how he was actually a real, living, breathing person. He never thought about that stuff, really, but when he did, it always left him with a strange sensation. He poked at a spot on his cheek and then with a great sigh, he turned off the bathroom light and headed back to his bedroom. 

His bedroom which was alarmingly empty. 

"Eliott?" he called, eyebrows knitted as he looked around. "Eliott, where are you?" He wandered around the flat, stepping into the living room and kitchen, both of which were just as empty. "Eliott? Hello? Eliott!" he called out, walking back down the hall to his bedroom. He surveyed the room and found that Eliott's clothes were gone, except for his big black hoodie, which was still discarded in a bundle by the door. 

"What the fuck?" Lucas muttered in horror, prying on his jeans from earlier and marching into Mika's room, breathing faster every moment. "Mika, have you seen Eliott?" he asked, running his hands through his hair. 

Mika, who was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone, looked up curiously. "Not since his big reveal, no. Why?" he replied, barely looking up from his phone.

Lucas groaned, hurrying into Manon's room across the hall. Still no luck.

Eliott was gone. Without warning, he had disappeared, fading from Lucas' grasp and leaving him with nothing but a discarded hoodie and a messy kitchen. 


	12. I miss you

**Lucas:** Eliott where are you? 

**Lucas:**  Eliott?

**Lucas:** I have your hoodie. I'll give it back tomorrow in school. 

Lucas was in a frenzy that night, pacing his bedroom sending frantic texts to Eliott. His hair was standing up in every way and his fingernails were bitten down to the nub in his anxiety. He even tried texting Leo to see if he had any clue.

**Lucas:**  Leo, I don't know where Eliott went. Is he home? 

**Leo:** No, he still hasn't come back and he wasn't answering all evening. 

**Leo:** Was he with you?

**Lucas:** He was, but he left out of nowhere when I went to the toilet

Lucas whimpered dejectedly as he checked his messages with Eliott once again, seeing they were still unread. He messaged Leo once again, running his hand through his hair and chewing on his bottom lip. 

**Lucas:**  Can you please tell me if he comes home? 

By almost 11, Lucas still hadn't heard back from either of the Demaury's. He was curled up in the corner of his bed, wrapped up in his duvet and staring at his phone screen. He clutched the blanket with one of his fists, fingers aching from the tight grip, though he paid it no mind.

Periodically, Manon and Mika came in to check on him, giving him worried and apologetic looks as he told them nothing had changed. 

Finally, as Lucas was pacing the floor again, clutching one of his pillows to his chest, tears burning his eyes, his phone lit up with a notification. In his haste, Lucas nearly slammed his head on the ground, scrambling for the phone. It was already one in the morning. 

**Leo:** Eliott is with me. He's safe, don't worry. 

Lucas sobbed in relief, dropping his phone back onto his bed and letting himself fall onto the floor with a thud.

◇

The next day at school, Lucas was standing in the courtyard with Yann, Basile and Arthur, staring intensely at the entrance to the school. Deep greyish purple bags sat under bloodshot, glassy eyes, lips swollen and red from biting. Around him, the other boys' voices were distant and incoherent, blending together with the constant ringing in his ears.

Something warm and soft pressed onto Lucas' shoulder, causing him to jump, pulled from his stare to look around. Yann was peering at him with concern, one of his hands dropping to his side after Lucas' startle. The other two were looking equally as confused and concerned, pausing their conversation to look over at Lucas.

"Everything alright, man? You look like you haven't slept a bit." Yann's face softened, forehead creased in a frown. "Are you sure Eliott's coming?"

Lucas shook his head, eyes falling to the concrete as they welled up with fresh tears. "I-I don't know. He just— _left_ yesterday. He was acting strange all afternoon and wanted to dye his hair and then after… when I went to the toilet, he was _gone_ ," Lucas said, voice shattering at the end. A fat, cold tear plopped onto the ground at his feet and Lucas wiped his face furiously with the pads of his fingers.

"He left without explanation? Just like that?" Yann said, blinking in perplexity.

"I don't know!" Lucas sobbed, throwing his hands up, "Like I said, he was acting strange all evening and then he just up and left me without any explanation. And then he apparently didn't get home until one, according to Leo." 

The boys all exchanged worried looks as Lucas broke down in front of them, face red and eyes pricking with more tears. "He got home eventually, didn't he?" Yann said, draping a comforting arm over Lucas' shoulder. Lucas nodded, sniffing. "That's all that matters then. At least he got home safe."

The bell for class sounded overhead, breaking the conversation. "Come on, let's get to class, Lu," Arthur said, linking arms with Lucas. "We can't let this ruin our days, you know?"

Lucas sniffled, smiling gratefully at his friend and joining him in walking towards the school building. He threw one last look over his shoulder hopelessly and then the four boys disappeared inside together. 

◇

Later that week, Lucas was sitting next to Leo in math class, silently writing down notes while Mr. Bernard droned on about graphs. Much of that lesson passed quietly between the two boys, but for tentative greetings or the whispered apologies when they bumped into each other. 

However, when everyone else started to pack up in the last few minutes, Leo finally spoke up, reaching into his backpack to pull something out. It looked to be a small folded piece of paper, which Leo handed over. "Eliott wanted me to give this to you," he said by way of explanation, zipping his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

Lucas inspected the small parchment. It was an expensive looking off white and it had his name scribbled over the back of it in shining black ink. "What is it?" he asked, beginning to carefully unfold the sheet. 

Leo shrugged. The bell overhead rang and their other classmates started to file out together, chatting amongst themselves. "I don't know. I gathered it was private, so I didn't look at what's inside." Before Lucas could reply, Leo was slipping outside into the hall with the rest of the swarm. 

Drawing his eyebrows together suspiciously and casting a glance towards the door as Mr. Bernard joined the students, Lucas fully unfolded the paper and looked at its contents.

It was a drawing. Lucas recognised the same raccoon character adorning Eliott's bedroom walls, only it was now joined by a cute, cartoonish hedgehog. On one side of the mini comic, the hedgehog was standing alone in a perfect rendition of their school corridors, a distinct pout on its face. On the other side, the hedgehog was joined again by the raccoon, which had a speech bubble overhead that stated, "I miss you." Underneath the comic, Eliott scrawled: In an alternate universe…

Scribbled on the bottom right corner in the same black ink, Eliott had written: You asked me how I would draw you, so…

Lucas blinked back the tears in his eyes, catching on the edges of his lashes and carefully folded the paper again. Finally, Lucas joined the rest of the students enjoying their lunch break, slipping the paper into the back pocket of his jeans.

◇

"-We were sleeping together, Alex and I, but I don’t know if I want to make it official, you know?” Emma was saying the next day on the couch in Lucas’ flat. 

Lucas was leaned back against a pile of cushions with his feet out, bottle of vodka in hand. They were trying to pass the evening with drinking too much, ignoring the other problems in their lives by drowning them in alcohol. Manon, who was using his legs as a pillow and resting her feet on the back of the couch, said, “I mean, Alex is dumb, but he has feelings doesn’t he? And you guys get along well.” She plucked the bottle from Lucas’ hands and took a swig of the vodka. 

“Plus, you already know you guys have chemistry,” Lucas added, pulling the vodka back and taking another sip, spilling a bit down his chin. His head was already starting to swirl pleasantly after only a few minutes of passing the bottle around between the three of them. If he looked directly at a light, it blurred into a star shape, twinkling and turning into two or three depending on how he looked at it.

“Have you ever tried talking to him? He might surprise you with a, dare I say it, _personality?"_  Manon teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and giggling drunkenly.

Emma laughed and leaned over to take the bottle from Lucas, taking a long gulp from the bottle and wincing slightly, eyes watering from the strength of the alcohol. “You mean he can do other things besides sex?”

Manon giggled, nodding. “Well, yeah. He’s not just a…” 

“A dick.”

“Exactly.”

The trio laughed, still passing the bottle back and forth between them. “At least you’ve got someone. I haven’t got anyone,” Lucas said as he tugged the bottle from Manon before she could take another sip. The other two gave him curious, puzzled looks. “Well, I don’t know what the hell happened with Eliott. He acted all weird the other day and now he won’t reply to any of my messages or even read any of them. And then yesterday, Leo gave me a drawing he made for me saying he misses me!” Lucas rambled. He let the cool liquid flood down his throat in burning hot rivulets which made his head swim and his vision began to blur at the edges. 

“That’s so sweet!”

“Come on, that’s cool!” 

Lucas stopped drinking for a moment, looking back at the girls with an intense, deadpan scowl. “If he really missed me, wouldn’t he reply to my texts? And giving it to me through his brother instead of doing it himself?” Lucas complained, “I don’t think he wants anything serious. He just wants to mess with my head.” 

“I’m still the most fucked,” Emma replied simply, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Now I just feel bad because I still have Charles,” Manon said with a pout. Just then, the front door to the flat opened and Mika walked in with their other roommate Lisa. Manon shrieked happily, sitting up as they entered. “Oh! Mika, Lisa! Come and join us!”

Mika looked the three teenagers over, raising one of his eyebrows. “Yeah, come join us. We have vodka,” Emma joined in, pointing at Lucas with the bottle of alcohol in hand.

“VODKA!” 

Soon enough, the five of them had set up a mini party, blasting a party playlist on a speaker and using one of the multi-coloured lights they usually used for house parties. As the music blasted through the flat and the shifting, flashing colourful lights bounced off the walls, they jumped and danced around the room, still passing around the vodka and beginning to down bottles of beer from the fridge. They shrieked and yelled, leaping on furniture and dancing together like a meteor was set to hit the earth the next day. 

Lucas’ vision blurred in and out of focus as the alcohol hit his brain, the music getting twisted and warped and everything around him seemed to slow to a standstill. Looking around at his friends, Lucas suddenly felt his heart drop as he watched everyone together, actually having fun. He was reminded suddenly of how messed up his life was and how no amount of alcohol was going to fix that. The many flashing colours burned his vision and he screwed his eyes shut as he felt tears pricking his eyes, covering his face with his hands. A flash, a split second image, blink and you'll miss it, Eliott's face staring back at him, eyes as intense as ever. 

Around him, the world continued to warp and swirl, lights still flashing, music still playing and people still dancing. Meanwhile, Lucas stayed motionless in the centre, at a crossroad, as life went on without him. 


	13. Surprises

“Dude, what happened. Are you drunk?” The next morning, Lucas, who was the first one at school, was sitting with his head hanging forwards as Yann walked over, voice laced with concern. Lucas looked up, meeting his friend’s eyes with a blank, exhausted stare, grey bags forming under his eyes.

“Hungover, more like,” he replied dully, “Manon, Emma and I thought it would be a good idea to drink away our problems last night.” Arthur wandered over next, waving cheerfully at the other two. “Morning, Arthur.” 

Arthur grinned, plopping down next to Lucas on the bench.

Yann raised his eyebrows at Lucas, eyes widening. “On a school night? And you still came?”

Lucas nodded, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, stomach turning uncomfortably. “I can’t miss class, Yann.” Yann frowned disapprovingly but let the conversation fall as Basile walked over. 

“Lucas, why the long face? I’ve got some good news for you.” Basile stopped, beaming excitedly. “Guess who I saw walking from the bus stop this morning.”

Lucas yawned, shrugging his shoulders carelessly, keeping his eyes down. “I really don’t care. Nothing can bring up my mood this morning. I feel like I got hit by a truck,” Lucas drawled bitterly, yawning once again.

“Oh, but I think this just might.” 

Lucas opened his mouth to comment but promptly snapped it shut when he saw none other than Eliott walking into the courtyard with his brother Leo. He was dressed in black skinny jeans and an unfamiliar navy hoodie, his usual black one still at Lucas’. As if summoned, Lucas instinctively stood up, eyes wide as he watched Eliott making his way over shyly. Behind him, he could hear the other three boys whispering semi-excitedly. He shot them all a dirty look over his shoulder. 

“Eliott.” Lucas’ words were barely above a breath, feet carrying him a couple steps forward of their own accord. Eliott continued coming over until he was only a foot or so away from Lucas, looking tentatively at him with his hands fidgeting at his sides, rocking back on his heels. 

“Hey,” Eliott replied, smiling sheepishly and looking at Lucas through his eyelashes. Lucas swore he could melt right then and there in the middle of the school courtyard. 

Lucas grinned and whispered back, “Hi.”

And then they were hugging. Lucas had no clue who initiated it, but somehow he was now standing with his arms wrapped securely around Eliott’s waist, tucking his face into the crook of Eliott’s neck while Eliott held him close, cradling his head. Lucas breathed in, smelling the familiar masculine cologne mixed with cigarettes and something oddly chocolatey. An odd mixture, yet perfectly _him._

 The hug was short lived as the other three boys wanted their own share of Eliott hugs, slapping him heartily on the back and ruffling his messy hair with compliments on the new colour. But even as he stood on the sidelines, watching his friends smothering Eliott with hugs, he caught the other boy’s eye and that alone was enough. 

◇ Lucas, Yann and Basile were sitting at the lunch table that afternoon, talking about their latest Literature class, when Arthur and Eliott appeared. They greeted the rest of the table and Eliott sat down in the seat next to Lucas, setting his tray on the table. 

"Boys, there's a great party coming up this weekend, you in?" Arthur looked around hopefully at the others, drumming his hands excitedly on the table. 

"I'm in," said Yann, raising his eyebrows with interest.

Basile nodded excitedly, mouth full of food already. "I was already planning to go, so obviously yes!" 

"I think I might be busy this weekend…" Eliott admitted shyly, voice trailing off at the end and bowing his head so that his jet black hair fell into his eyes.

Lucas glanced sideways at Eliott as the other three tried to protest. He was poking his fork into his pasta, avoiding eye contact and bouncing one of his knees up and down. "I can't go either. I have to… finish an essay for Monday and I still haven't even started it."

"Oh come on, it won't be as fun without you guys! You _have_  to come," Basile whined.

"I can't come, Basile. And clearly neither can Eliott," Lucas gritted, staring daringly at Basile, challenging him to protest again. 

Basile started to protest again, but was cut off by Yann covering his mouth with his hand and saying, "Dude, just leave it. They're obviously just busy this weekend. There's always next week." Yann glanced across at Lucas, looking back and forth between him and Eliott. Lucas smiled lightly in thanks, knowing Yann understood. 

"Plus, you're always disappearing at parties these days, so it doesn't even affect you," Arthur pointed out.

The conversation moved onto other topics soon after and a few minutes later, they started to pack up to head to classes again. As Lucas started to follow the others out of the cafeteria, putting his tray up, he felt someone pulling on his sleeve. Turning, Lucas saw Eliott holding onto his shirt, wearing an unreadable expression. He was hardly making eye contact, eyes straying anywhere but at Lucas. 

Lucas raised his eyebrows, turning around fully to give Eliott all his attention. "You didn't have to do that back there," Eliott said, tone strained and tense, jaw set. 

"Do what?"

Eliott sighed, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. "Cover for me. You don't have to miss the party just because I don't want to go," Eliott grumbled curtly, "I can take care of myself, Lucas. I just don't want to go to the party. You don't have to pity me or something." 

"I'm not pitying you, Eliott," Lucas insisted defensively, frowning, "I don't know what the fuck happened the other day, but I'm guessing you aren't up for a party when you went completely MIA for almost a fucking week." He knew he was being too harsh, but he couldn't help but feel bitter after Eliott not only ditched him, but then ignored him for a whole week. He softened, however, when he saw Eliott's face fall, eyes moving to the floor and shoulders slumping. He took a deep breath. "But we can hang out at my house or yours instead, can't we? Just the two of us." 

Eliott looked back up, eyes wide as they met Lucas'. He nodded, leaning his forehead against Lucas' and whispering, "I'd like that." He reached down to hook his pinkie around Lucas’, a faint smile growing on his features. Lucas sighed, grinning back. 

"We should get to class, but we can meet at the courtyard after?" Lucas suggested as the warning bell signalled and he stepped reluctantly away from Eliott. He nodded again in reply and Lucas turned around to make their way out of the lunch hall, holding the door open for Eliott as they went their separate ways.

"Hey, Lucas?" 

Lucas paused, turning on his heels again to look at Eliott. "Yeah?"

"I promise I'll tell you what happened. Soon." 

Lucas smiled, tilting his head. "Okay." With one last look, the two boys turned to go towards their respective classes. Lucas grinned to himself, pushing past a group of first years making their way to class and hurried towards the science labs. 

◇

That evening, Lucas and Eliott were alone in the Demaury flat, sprawled across the couch with an empty pizza box lying open on the coffee table and some action film playing on the tv. Leo was out with some of his friends for the night and wouldn't be back until morning. There were a few opened beer bottles scattered across the table as well, lying on their sides or tilted against the cardboard box. One of Lucas' legs was thrown over Eliott's legs, head resting on Eliott's shoulder as he played with one of Eliott's hands. With the window propped open, the distant city sounds of racing cars and laughing voices trickled into the room, lacing with the light breeze of the autumn air. 

"Why a hedgehog?" Lucas asked, tracing his pointer finger over one of Eliott's veins. He glanced up to catch sight of Eliott's profile. 

Eliott sat up, smiling down at Lucas with a devilish glint in his eyes. "Have you seen your hair?" He reached up to ruffle Lucas' hair, earning a shocked and offended gasp from the other. 

Lucas slapped his hand away, pulling his leg away and pouting. "Well if you hated my hair you could have said so," he said with mock offense. His facade was easily broken by the tiny smile peeking out of his lips. 

Eliott laughed, pulling Lucas back towards him and running his hands through his hair. "I like your hair, dumbass. It suits you," Eliott said, pressing a kiss on top of his head. Lucas groaned, pushing Eliott away again. "Grumpy hedgehog." He patted Lucas' head teasingly, beaming down at Lucas with a startling fondness. A flush crept up his cheeks despite himself. 

"So a raccoon and a hedgehog? Doesn't that sorta defy the rules or nature or something?" Lucas teased, smirking mischievously and raising an eyebrow. 

Eliott shoved his shoulder, rolling his eyes. "This is my house, you know. I can just as easily kick you out for comments like that." Lucas gasped, slapping a hand over his chest.

"You wouldn't dare!" 

"Oh, I would dare." 

Lucas shook his head, resting his head on Eliott's shoulder and closing his eyes. "I don't think you would. You like my company too much," he whispered. 

"I do." Lucas startled slightly at the intensity of Eliott's words, his voice hard and insistent yet as soft as a blanket. Lucas wanted to wrap himself up in Eliott’s certainty, protect himself from any other, harsher words and never forget his calming whispers. 

"What are we?" Lucas blurted, eyes widening and face a vibrant crimson. Like a record scratching, time seemed to hit a wall, tripping over itself as Eliott turned to look at him in slight confusion, tilting his head to the side. He reminded Lucas a bit like a puppy, but he kept that thought to himself. "Like. Do you want anything serious or is this just casual or something? I’ve been wondering for ages," he explained bashfully, gaze falling to his lap as his fingers fiddled with each other.

Eliott tilted his chin to face him, eyes affectionate and searching. "I want something serious, Lucas. If you do. I don't think I've ever been more serious in my life." Eliott replied, smiling that gooey sweet smile Lucas wanted to lock away for safekeeping, only for him. 

Lucas nodded enthusiastically, eyes wide. "Yeah, I really really do. I was worried you didn't," he admitted.

Eliott shook his head where it leaned against Lucas' forehead, nudging his nose into Lucas'. "Well I do. So don't worry, okay?"

Lucas nodded. "Okay."

They sat in silence for a few minutes after that, the tv long forgotten as they sat pressed against each other on the couch, heartbeats and breaths mingling together in a harmony none could recreate. Eventually, Lucas noticed a piano in the corner of the room that he hadn't noticed before. It was piled high with various sheets of music and a vintage record. The shelf next to it held various other music books and a variety of records. 

"You have a piano. I didn't know that." Lucas' voice was feather soft, turning his head to peer up at Eliott curiously through his lashes, eyes bright with interest. 

Eliott shrugged. "It's really Leo's. He's had lessons since we were like 5," he said, "But I can play a mean Star Wars theme."

Lucas laughed, standing up from the couch and turning the tv off before walking over to the piano. "Can I try?" Eliott nodded, watching him as he perched on the seat in front of the piano, fingers dancing as he decided on what to play. He pressed a note experimentally, getting a feel for the music that instantly washed over him as he hit the black and white keys. One of the few pieces he knew by heart, Lucas slowly eased into it with clumsy, unpracticed movements, stumbling on a few keys.

Eliott laughed, leaning back against the cushions. "I think we have a triangle, if you want." Lucas wheezed a laugh, rolling his eyes and turning back to the piano. 

Lucas moved back into the music once again, letting his fingers speed up, notes floating into his ears. He forgot where he was, barely thinking about his movements as his fingers danced gracefully, easily across the keys, pressing them down avidly and passionately. The air was filled with the intertwining notes as they mingled together and cascaded down into the street to harmonise with the birds. A gentle smile crept onto his lips as he played the familiar tune, chest heavy yet safe with the memories of learning this song when he was young. It was deliberate and calm and he could just about see Eliott sitting forwards on the couch out of the corner of his eye. 

As he slowed to the end of the piece, letting his fingers trace the last few notes, he was almost overwhelmed by a strange calmness. When he finished playing, the last notes still lingering in the air, Lucas turned back around towards Eliott and felt his heart skip a beat at the wide eyed, broadly grinning face Eliott was giving him.

"That was… beautiful," Eliott marveled, eyes shining and teeth on show. Lucas opened his mouth to reply, probably something teasing about Star Wars, but Eliott continued. "Just like you." 

Lucas' heart stopped. An entire field of scarlet roses seemed to bloom on his cheeks, eyes darting back down at the wood floor. All words escaped him and Lucas was left a silent mess, turning back around in the seat and fiddling with the fabric of his trousers. 

"You _are_." Eliott stood up and stepped easily over the coffee table, towering over Lucas on the piano bench. He gently pushed Lucas back, bending down to be at eye level and pressing his face close. Lucas' elbow collided with the piano keys, breaking the silence and the tension with the jarring notes. "You're surprising me at every moment, Lucas. Everything you do leaves me in awe and I have to take a minute to myself because every single thing you do makes me breathless."

Lucas blinked, at a loss for words, desperately trying to grasp for something, _anything_  to say to try to match Eliott's words. But he came up completely blank, taken aback by the abruptness and the intensity of Eliott. Eliott continued on, adding, "The world is filled to the brim with surprises and you never stop being my favourite one."

A sharp intake of breath, eyes glassy and he pushed the rest of the way forwards until he was kissing Eliott once again. He smiled into the kiss, one of his hands coming up to tangle in Eliott's shiny black locks, heart racing in his chest. Eliott pulled them both into a standing position and without pulling them apart, guided Lucas back into his bedroom. 

 


	14. Let's go face the beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the serious delay in this one, I just started up school again and I've already been super busy. But this is a longer chapter, so hopefully it makes up for it!

The next morning came with strips of light across the bottom of the bed and the distant sound of cars and people passing by the open window. It came with Lucas resting his head on Eliott's chest as he combed his fingers through the soft brown hair. It came with tender kisses and wandering hands, tangled up in the bedsheets. 

Lucas was now lying horizontally across the bed, arms hanging over the sides and brushing the floor. Eliott was using his back as a sort of pillow, the stubble of his chin rough against Lucas' shoulder blades. "Do you believe in parallel universes?" Lucas asked, tilting his head sideways on the bed to glance up at Eliott.

Eliott hummed thoughtfully, tracing one of his fingers over Lucas' back in a fluid, feather-light motion. "I don't know. I suppose there's always a possibility," he said, breath tickling the hairs on the back of Lucas' neck. "What about you?"

Lucas nodded, carefully rolling onto his back so he could peer down at Eliott. Eliott shifted slightly into a more comfortable position, watching him with his usual intense blue-grey stare. "I do. Absolutely." Lucas brushed a strand of hair out of Eliott's face. "I like to think that, if there's an infinite amount of universes, I've done everything. Even if I make a mistake in this one, Lucas number 7364 made the right choice and so on.” 

"Has Lucas number one made the right choice with me?" Eliott's voice was soft and uncertain, eyes wide and full of a curious and almost apprehensive twinkle. 

Lucas smiled. He sat up slightly, pulling Eliott closer by the back of his neck and pressing a chaste kiss against his perfect lips. "Obviously," he whispered, pressing his forehead against Eliott's. 

Eliott nodded, though his smile was lacking in its usual glow that would overpower Lucas every time. He pulled back slightly, sitting up and taking a deep breath. Sensing the shift in the atmosphere, Lucas sat up too, pulling his knees to his chest and fixing Eliott with a questioning stare. He could hear the cogs turning in Eliott's head, could almost hear the words dangling on the tip of his tongue. Eliott inhaled heavily, worrying his lip between his teeth.

"There's something I have to tell you." 

Lucas swallowed, nodding. "Okay. I'm listening." 

Eliott took another deep breath, closing his eyes for a second in a clear effort to calm himself. Whatever it was he wanted to say, it was obviously something important, something serious. Lucas' heart sped up in his chest, thoughts whirring around in his head with all the possibilities. Eliott opened his eyes once again, eyes glassy. "I'm—" 

"Eliott, I'm back!" Leo's voice cut through the air, causing Eliott to snap his mouth shut. A second later, Eliott's bedroom door opened to reveal a slightly messier version of Leo Demaury. He was clearly wearing last night's clothes, dressed in blue jeans and a wrinkled colourful button down, a leather jacket clutched in one hand and his brown hair sticking up and in his face. 

Upon looking at the two in bed, his eyes bulged and his jacket thudded to the ground. "Shit. S-sorry. I didn't know you were–I should–sorry. I'm–bye," Leo spluttered, face flushed a violent shade of red. As quick as he entered, Leo was grabbing his jacket and stumbling out of the bedroom again, shutting the door behind him.

Eliott squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a surprising amount of air from his nose. Lucas' eyes darted back and forth between Eliott and the door, still stunned at the interruption. Their conversation was shunted to a grinding halt and Lucas had no idea if Eliott would try to pick it back up again. He was still sitting with his eyes shut, scarily frozen.

"Eliott?" 

Eliott flopped backwards, head hitting the pillow with a thud and letting out a frustrated groan. He grabbed the other pillow and pressed it into his face before sitting up again. "We should probably go talk to him," Eliott said, dropping the pillow into his lap. Conversation forgotten, clearly. 

"Don't you think we—"

"Leo will have brought breakfast. He usually does when he stays out until morning," Eliott interrupted distractedly, clambering out of bed and searching around for a hoodie on his bedroom floor. 

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked, watching Eliott pull on his black hoodie over his head.

"Come on. Just–just put something on and let's go face the beast." Eliott waved his hand in Lucas's general direction, dismissive. He bent over to pick up Lucas' shirt from yesterday and tossed it to him. "That should do."

Lucas pulled the shirt on and climbed out of bed, still eyeing Eliott warily. He was much more fidgety than before, eyes going all over the room except for on Lucas, fingers tapping on his thighs and lip tugged between his teeth. "What do you mean by beast? He's not—?" Lucas began to ask before Eliott cut him off again. 

"Homophobic? No. Not at all. He was just surprised I think," Eliott replied, reaching for the doorknob. As if he finally felt Lucas' dismay, looking at him again, Eliott added, "Let's go, baby. Please. We'll talk later, okay?" He held out his free hand and Lucas couldn't resist grabbing it and following him out of the room and down the hall and into the kitchen. 

What followed was an extremely awkward and mostly silent breakfast in the Demaury kitchen. None of them seemed to want to bring up the very obvious elephant in the room, choosing to eat their respective pastries or bread in uncomfortable silence. When Lucas was finished with his croissant and a cup of coffee, he excused himself with a comment about homework, said he'd see them both later and was out of the flat in less than 10 minutes. 

◇

The next afternoon, Lucas was standing on Yann's doorstep in his winter coat and blue hat, knocking on the door with frozen knuckles. Winter had decided to come early that day, waking Lucas up far too early for his liking with a bitter chill. His breath was visible in the air and he knocked once again. 

The door swung open another few seconds later and then he was grinning at his best friend. "Lucas! You arrived! Come in, Arthur is already here." Beaming, Yann pulled Lucas inside the house, shutting the door behind them. Lucas heaved a sigh of relief as he was warmed almost instantly from the house's heating system. He toed off his shoes and hung up his coat and hat, following Yann into the living room. 

As promised, Arthur was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the television, controller in hand. Mario Kart was on the screen, Waluigi zooming between the other cars. Upon Lucas' arrival, Arthur said distractedly, "Hey, Lucas. Come and join us." He kept his gaze on the screen, throwing a shell at a passing car. He was in 4th place. 

"Wow, I'm so glad I came here to be ignored instead of at the flat," Lucas deadpanned, dropping into the seat beside Arthur and watching him play. Yann, who was sitting in one of the armchairs now, gave him a curious look, tilting his head. "Manon is visiting Charles for some reason and Mika and Lisa are having a 'Say Yes to the Dress' marathon," he explained.

Yann nodded understandingly. A few minutes later, just as Arthur was reaching the last lap, there was another knock at the door. "I'll get it. It's probably Bas," Lucas announced, getting up from his seat and wandering down the hall. He traced his fingers absently along the wall, eyes scanning the various family photos dotted here and there. 

When he opened the door, he stumbled back as he came face to face with none other than Eliott. He gave Lucas a sheepish grin, hands tucked into the pockets of his tawny jacket and breath fluttering into the air visibly. He was wearing a black knitted hat and checkered scarf as well. He looked positively gorgeous, as usual. 

"Hi." 

"Hi." 

"Can I maybe come in? It's freezing out here," Eliott asked, gesturing to his general vicinity. His cheeks and nose were brushed with faint pink from the cold. 

Lucas stepped aside, letting the other pass him and closed the door behind him. He pointed out the coat rack and said, "Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?"

Eliott finished hanging up his things and turned back to Lucas. His gaze was unreadable."Yann invited me to hang out. Is that okay?" Eliott asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Of course it is," Lucas replied, reaching up to brush his fingers over Eliott's cold pink skin in an effort to warm it up, "It's just–after yesterday. I wasn't sure how you felt and stuff." 

Eliott sighed, leaning into Lucas' touch and wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. "Breakfast _was_  awkward, I'll admit. But I promise I'll tell you soon, okay?" Lucas narrowed his eyes, still sceptical, but allowed the other boy to press a quick kiss to his lips nonetheless. He was only human.

"Lucas, what's taking so long to–oh!" Yann wandered into the hallway, stopping dead at the sight of Lucas and Eliott standing in the hallway together, practically fondling each other. Eliott pulled away abruptly, face growing pink once again. "Alright then. Cool." And then he was hurrying back to the living room. 

Seconds later, before Eliott and Lucas had even followed, there was another knock on the door.

Lucas, Eliott and Basile walked into the living room together, all out of their coats. Basile jumped into the spot next to Arthur and Yann on the couch, leaving only the armchair free. Yann eyed Lucas and Eliott as they stood rather awkwardly, both staring at the empty armchair. 

"Okay, are you two going to explain or just stand awkwardly for the rest of the day?" Yann blurted, pulling everyone else's attention on him. For once, Arthur even paused the video game to look at his friend curiously. 

"Explain what?" Basile asked, looking between Yann and Lucas and Eliott. Arthur nodded in agreement, glancing over at Yann. 

"Well, you guys are always teasing us–mainly me–about liking each other…" Lucas started, drawing out his explanation as he looked individually at his three friends. Yann looked expectant and excited, Arthur, who seemed to have already connected the dots looked shocked yet ecstatic while Basile simply looked confused. "Well, he's my boyfriend." 

While Lucas had expected the boys to be supportive and even happy for them, what he hadn't expected was for all three of them to shriek in excitement. Yann practically threw himself on the floor, grinning so wide his face was almost split in two while Arthur put his face in his hands and Basile screamed, "Finally!" Laughing at their friends' reactions, Eliott tugged Lucas into him and he pressed a chaste kiss to his collar, rolling his eyes fondly. 

"It's about time you guys actually got over yourselves. Seriously, I thought we were going to have to lock you in a room together," Arthur said once they had finally calmed down enough to speak properly again. The other two nodded emphatically. 

"Actually, we already kissed a while ago. We just weren't official until yesterday," Eliott explained, draping an arm around Lucas' shoulders and turning to grin excitedly at him. 

"A while ago? As in, you guys didn't tell us you kissed _a while ago?_ " Yann looked positively scandalised, hand to his chest, eyes like saucers. 

Lucas shrugged. "Didn't see a point if we weren't dating yet," Lucas said nonchalantly. "Shall we get back to gaming?" Lucas pulled Eliott over to the empty armchair and, while Arthur pressed play again, Eliott sat down in the seat. Lucas settled easily onto his lap, draping his legs over one of the arms and turning to the tv. He adamantly ignored the others' gazes. 

As the next round began, Arthur and Basile playing each other, Lucas felt someone poking his shoulder. He turned to find Yann looking at him. "I'm happy for you, man. Really." 

Lucas smiled. "Thank you," he whispered, smiling bashfully. 

"Seriously. I'm glad you've finally found someone you deserve," Yann said, voice low to avoid anyone else overhearing. At a loss for words, Lucas laughed wetly, shaking his head in disbelief at the good people he was surrounded by. Yann slapped him on the back, giving him one last smile before turning his attention to the tv. 

"Everything alright?" Eliott whispered, squeezing Lucas tight as he noticed the tears suddenly falling. He wiped one of them off his cheek using the pad of his thumb, touch soft and warm against Lucas’ skin.

"Never better."

◇

The next day in school, Lucas was on his way to math class from the toilets, only half watching where he was going as he read through the group chat with the boys. He was so busy rolling his eyes at a terrible attempt at a joke from Basile that he didn't see someone coming his way as he started to turn into the maths classroom. In seconds, Lucas was slamming into someone's chest, stumbling backwards onto the ground with a muttered 'fuck' and his phone was flying through the air. 

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Lu." Lucas looked up from the ground to find Leo standing over him. "Lemme help," he said, offering one of his hands to Lucas. Lucas took it gratefully, allowing the taller boy to yank him to his feet. Lucas thanked him, going over to pick up his phone from where it had landed a few feet away. Thankfully, there was only a small crack in the screen. 

Lucas and Leo made their way into the classroom together now, sitting next to each other and taking out their stuff in silence. There was an air of awkwardness still hovering between them after the other day, a muddled tension.

It was Lucas who broke their stalemate, a few minutes into the lesson when they were supposed to be discussing their homework. "Listen, about the other day…" he began, putting his pencil on the table. His voice drifted off with uncertainty, eyes roving around the room in search of the right words, as if his maths class would give him the answers.

Leo interrupted him with a shake of his head. "It's fine, Lucas. I didn't see you naked or anything, at least." 

"So you don't care?" 

"About what?"

"Like, that I'm dating your brother. That I'm a _guy_." Lucas whispered the last sentence, glancing sideways as if it was some dirty secret to be kept. His face flushed. 

Leo snorted, an absurd grin on his face. "Lucas, of course I don't care. So do I," Leo said, laughing slightly as though he found Lucas' assumption absurd. "Did I give you the impression that I'd mind? Because if so, I'm so sorry." 

Lucas shook his head. "Not really. I was just worried in general," Lucas said, smiling sincerely. After a brief silence in which they both looked at the board to see whatever their teacher was droning on about, Lucas spoke up again. "I, uh, didn't know you were gay." 

"I'm not, actually. Bi. Eliott's pan and I'm bi. It was a lot for our parents to wrap their heads around as we both came out at pretty much the same time." He chuckled once he finished his explanation, shaking his head. "But they're fine with it. Don't worry. They just didn't get the difference at first." 

Lucas nodded in understanding, trying to process the information he was getting from Leo. He didn't care that Lucas and Eliott were dating. He didn't care that they were dating and that Lucas was a boy. He  _liked_ boys. 

Leo leaned over and whispered in Lucas' ear, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll love you." Lucas' face burned scarlet and he turned to his neglected work, completely at a loss for words. Leo chuckled at his friend's blush, patting him teasingly on the arm and turning to his own work. 

◇

Lucas and Imane were walking together out of biology class, followed by a very amused Arthur and Alexia, bickering about Lucas’ diagram, which Imane thought looked terrible, when they came across Eliott just outside the door. They all stopped to say hello, Lucas pausing the argument with one last glare at Imane before turning to Eliott with a smile.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Eliott asked, jutting his chin away from the rest of their friends.

“Go ahead,” Lucas said, “See you guys later.” Eliott beamed, taking Lucas’ hand and dragging him away while waving goodbye to their friends. He pulled Lucas into a corner at the end of a hallway, glancing over at their friends still talking near the classroom. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Lucas asked after standing in silence for a few seconds. 

“I still feel bad about the other day when Leo interrupted us. I really want to explain, but I just haven’t had the chance to yet and it’s not really something I can explain over text or something,” Eliott said, looking at the floor and then back at Lucas. 

Lucas shook his head, reaching up to brush his thumb over Eliott’s cheek. His heart skipped a beat as Eliott leaned slightly into the touch, smile brightening. “It’s okay. I understand, Eliott.” Lucas’ voice was soft as a summer breeze, gracing Eliott with his own smile. 

“Well, to make amends, I thought I could take you on a date this weekend. Something chill but out of the flats,” Eliott said. Lucas raised his eyebrows, squeezing Eliott’s hand that he was still holding. Eliott looked around and then leaned in closer to whisper, “Somewhere we won’t be interrupted by Leo again.” 

Lucas’ face burned, taking a deep breath. “Like what?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and tilting his head back to look at Eliott through his lashes.

Eliott shrugged. “I don’t know. Let me think about it and I’ll let you know.” Lucas’ grin widened, winking and pulling Eliott closer by his lower back. The bell rang for their next class and Lucas groaned, pouting. “I have to get to my next class, but I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Lucas nodded. Eliott grinned, taking hold of Lucas’ cheeks and kissing him chastely a few times before hurrying away to his next class, barely keeping from running into a wall in his haste.

Lucas sighed, watching him go and making his own way to his next class.


	15. The best night of my life

“Lucas, what time is Eliott coming to pick you up?” Manon asked from the doorway. She was currently watching Lucas rummaging through his wardrobe for some clothes, an amused smile playing on her cherry red lips. She also had a date that night, though she refused to tell Lucas any other details. 

“Uh, 19h,” he said distractedly, pulling out a slightly crumpled grey hoodie and holding it up to look at. 

Manon walked over from behind, pulling the hoodie out of his grasp and putting it back up in the closet with a shake of her head. “It’s a date, you can’t wear a hoodie _again_. You have to dress nicely,” she said, a slight chastising tone to her voice as she turned to search through Lucas’ wardrobe as well. She pulled out a denim jacket and tossed it onto his unmade bed, turning back to the wardrobe. 

“Manon, it’s fine. I don’t need help finding clothes to wear,” he insisted, pulling out a plain white tee from the back of the closet. Manon tugged it away, tossing it back inside. 

“You can’t just wear a white shirt, Lucas. At least wear something with colour.”

Lucas sighed, pushing Manon out of his bedroom. “Okay, okay, I’ll wear a colour,” he mimicked, “Now can I please get back to getting ready? He’ll be here in twenty minutes.” ◇ Half an hour later, Lucas was following Eliott down a busy Paris street, trying to get an idea of where he was taking him. But Eliott’s lips were sealed as he simply led him this way and that, fingers twined together.

“Eliott, where are we going? You’re so cryptic with our dates,” Lucas whined at one point as he followed Eliott down yet another side street, past a small bakery that was being closed for the night. The air was freezing that evening, whipping his hair this way and that, sending goosebumps all along his skin. 

“It’s a surprise. I thought you liked surprises,” Eliott replied, turning left onto a pedestrian’s street. “Come on, we’re almost there.” 

Finally, when Lucas’ legs were beginning to ache and his forehead was beading with sweat despite the cold, Eliott came to a stop. Lucas stumbled slightly, looking up at the building they were now standing in front of. It looked to be an old movie theatre. It had a small ticket booth out front, a large white board over the entrance which would usually advertise films on show and various posters advertising upcoming showings or adverts. The many lights bordering the sign for the theatre were lit up, a rectangular constellation which blinked and sparkled in the low light of the late evening. 

“What are we doing here? There aren’t any films on tonight,” Lucas asked, turning to look at Eliott, knitting his eyebrows together, searching the other boy’s face for a hint of what was happening. 

Eliott laughed, letting go of his hand to throw his arm over Lucas’ shoulder, holding him close. “Not for everyone,” he whispered teasingly, pulling Lucas towards the entrance. 

The cinema apparently only had one theatre, which was situated at the back. Lucas was still looking around in curiosity as Eliott tugged him towards the big red doors leading to the theatre. It was a pretty generic looking cinema with a long concessions stand showcasing popcorn and various sweets and drinks and the usual dark carpet covered in miscellaneous stains. 

The inside of the theatre, however, was anything but generic that night. All down the aisle between the seats, fairy lights had been hung up, lighting their path with glittering stars. The huge velvet curtains which normally covered the screen were pulled back to show the title screen for “Les Quatre Cents Coups”, an old black and white film. Eliott lead Lucas down the aisle until they reached row L, still pulling him by the hand to the middle of the row. 

“Eliott, what is all this? Did you rent the whole theatre?” Lucas asked in amazement as Eliott made him sit down. He gazed around the theatre, trying to process what he was seeing. Eliott’s smile gave it away and Lucas’ whole face lit up even more, eyes wide and smile bright. “Fuck, how much did you pay for this?” Eliott snorted, pulling Lucas into a kiss and shaking his head. “Tell me,” Lucas said against his lips. Eliott shook his head again. 

“You haven’t seen anything yet. Look!” Eliott exclaimed, reaching down under the seats to pull out a bottle of champagne and a couple of glasses. Lucas burst out with a loud, bubbling laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“This is insane. No one’s ever done anything like this for me,” Lucas said, leaning over the seat to press a soft kiss against Eliott’s lips, grinning. He glanced down at the bottle in Eliott’s hand and muttered, “You’re crazy.” 

Eliott removed the cork from the top with a satisfying pop, followed by a fizzle of bubbles and the condensation from inside. He let Lucas hold the two glasses as he poured them each some of the drink before setting it aside on the ground. As the movie started playing on the big screen, Lucas held his glass up in the air between them. “To tonight.” 

Eliott laughed, clinking their glasses together and saying, “To _us_.” Lucas laughed, taking a sip of the bubbling golden drink. It fizzed and stung all the way down his throat, the cool liquid leaving his insides warm and content and _bubbly_. Lucas felt as though he had to hold onto something to keep from floating away. 

“Hang on,” Eliott whispered, holding up a finger and leaning over the seats once again. He returned a few seconds later carrying two small bags of popcorn. 

_“Eliott!”_ Lucas exclaimed, taking one of the bags from him and placing it in his lap. He grabbed a handful of popcorn in his free hand, dropping a few onto the floor, and shoving it all in his mouth. It was surprisingly good for popcorn, not too salty, but not too plain. “Oh, wow! This is the best popcorn I’ve ever eaten.” 

Eliott laughed, plucking a single piece and popping it in his mouth. “Right? Who would have thought popcorn could be so good? This shit is delicious!” 

“Well, as long as you didn’t make it, I’m sure anything could taste good.” 

Eliott gasped, tossing a handful at Lucas. Lucas yelped, throwing back his own handful. “Just watch the movie, would you?” Eliott teased, gesturing to the screen as the first few scenes were playing. Lucas rolled his eyes, taking another sip of champagne and glancing over at Eliott instead of watching the film. He was far more interesting anyway. 

Eliott looked back at him, eyes twinkling from the fairy lights he had strung up, facial features emphasised by the pale glow of the film. Eliott leaned over, resting his forehead against Lucas and whispering, “You’re so beautiful.” Lucas shook his head, cheeks scarlet and a tiny smile peeking out. “No, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so fucking gorgeous as you. The first time I saw you, I’m not joking when I say you took my breath away.” Lucas had no reply to this, as usual, absolutely floored by Eliott’s seemingly constant stream of compliments. They always caught him off guard, like going for a hike only to come across a sudden drop off.

Instead of replying verbally, Lucas simply closed the last remaining centimetres between them, falling over the drop off into another electric kiss. Eliott deepened the kiss, carefully putting the drinks onto the ground and pressing Lucas’ back into the seats. All the while Lucas’ whole body tingled with energy and adrenaline and probably magic, the film continued to play like background music. Even as the characters on screen shouted and committed crimes, they continued pushing and pulling, hands wandering, lips searching. 

Eventually, they had to pull apart, out of breath, clothes and hair awry. They picked up their food and drinks once again and returned to watching the movie. 

“We should serve this popcorn at our wedding.” Eliott said after a little while, chewing on another handful. “In fact, that’s all we should serve. Just popcorn and knockoff champagne.” 

“Oh, so we’re getting married then?” Lucas asked, leaning forwards against the chairs in front, raising a questioning eyebrow. 

Eliott nodded. “Well of course. Don’t you want to get married?” Eliott replied, as though it was absurd for Lucas to not consider them getting married. They had barely known each other for two months. “But really. Imagine. All of our guests have the popcorn and they all love it so much that they beg to know where it came from and I refuse to tell anyone and there becomes a huge feud between our families because they all want to know where the delicious popcorn comes from. And then more and more people join in the feud and everyone wants to try the popcorn,” Eliott babbled, shovelling more popcorn into his mouth while Lucas watched with wavering amusement. “And then when everyone starts eating that popcorn, that’s all anyone wants to eat _ever_  and so all the corn farms start to go bankrupt. Even the one that makes this popcorn because of overproduction. And still no one knows where the popcorn is from except for us. So we’re forced to go into hiding on an island in the middle of the Atlantic.” 

The longer Eliott went on, the more confused Lucas got, nodding half-heartedly at the tangle of words falling out of his boyfriend’s mouth. “How many Lucas’s and Eliott’s do you think are married?” Eliott asked, resting his head on Lucas’ shoulder, gaze fixed on the screen. 

Lucas hummed thoughtfully, reaching back to run his fingers through Eliott’s hair. “Probably a lot,” he whispered, letting his free hand grab Eliott’s lacing their fingers together on the arm rest. “I think a lot of Lucas’s and Eliott’s are together. Maybe somewhere we’re on a boat. Or perhaps we’re both celebrities in some universe and we’re each other’s dates to a red carpet event.” 

“Really?” 

Lucas nodded, pressing a kiss on top of Eliott’s head. “Definitely.”

Eliott chuckled, lifting their interlocked hands and inspecting them, tilting them side to side and rubbing his thumb over the back of Lucas’ hand. “Let’s go for a walk. I’m bored with sitting doing nothing.” Eliott let go of his hand and sat up straight, putting the food and drinks on the floor and standing up. 

“But Eli, the film-” 

“Who cares? Let’s just go somewhere. Be somewhere. I don’t care where,” Eliott insisted, cutting Lucas off. He held out one of his hands for Lucas to take. “Come on, I’m tired of just sitting around. I wanna _do_  something. Please?” He pouted childishly, eyes wide and lashes fluttering. And how could Lucas say no to that? 

And so, Lucas put his own stuff on the ground and together, hand in hand, they abandoned the film and ran up the aisle together. They pushed out into the blinding lobby and out onto the street, beginning to wander slowly down the street. 

Eliott paused near a bench to pull something out of his pocket, showing Lucas his usual lighter and joint. Lucas watched Eliott’s nimble fingers lighting the end of the joint with ease, slipping the lighter back into his pocket and taking a long drag and letting it out slowly. He took another hit this time, tilting his head to blow some of the smoke directly into Lucas’ face. Lucas breathed in the first hit, almost choking from the first headrush. 

Lucas took the joint from Eliott, taking a drag, letting the smoke swirl around his lungs until it filtered out into the night. “You know, I think this is the best night of my life,” Lucas said as Eliott cooed at a baby in a pram passing by. 

“Then maybe we should just die tonight. Since we’ve peaked,” Eliott suggested, letting out more smoke, completely unaware of Lucas’ shocked face. 

 Lucas stopped in his tracks, heart suddenly racing. He stared at Eliott, eyebrows knitting together and his lungs in his throat. “Why-why are you saying something like that?” he stammered, eyes wide, trapping his lip between his teeth. 

Eliott kissed his forehead and said, “I’m just joking, baby.” Lucas ignored the pet name, letting go of his hand and continuing walking, head down and chest aching. Eliott jogged after him, more smoke falling out of his lips, grabbing Lucas’ hand. “I was kidding!” he insisted, squeezing Lucas’ hand. 

Lucas paused at the next bench, head beginning to feel dizzy with the mixture of alcohol and weed in his body, mingling with the sudden adrenaline rush. He felt heavy and light all at once, dropping into the seat with a sigh and taking the joint from Eliott. Lucas tipped his head back, shutting his eyes and letting the high float through him, unable to keep his head up. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to see the river.” 

Lucas looked up, eyelids drooping. His surroundings seemed to be moving in slow motion, passing cars driving at the speed of snails, thoughts slowing down to a tranquil buzz. He nodded as much as he could, watching Eliott walk away hanging from the ceiling before closing his eyes once again. 

_Wait a second,_  Lucas thought, sitting up and looking around the mostly empty street. Like a bucket of water had been drenched over him, Lucas stumbled to his feet. The river? What was Eliott doing with a river? Frantically, heart picking up pace once again, Lucas looked this way and that down the street. “Eliott? Hello? Eliott!” Lucas called, walking in the direction he hoped Eliott had gone in and dropping the half-finished cigarette on the concrete. “Fuck.” 

Lucas jogged this way and that, calling out to Eliott, going through the many twists and turns of Paris at random. After a few minutes, he caught sight of a bridge, barely dodging a car as he sprinted across the street. “Eliott!” he screamed, grabbing fistfuls of hair and looking up and down along the black water a good few metres down. “FUCK!” 

Lucas yanked his phone out of his pocket, breathing heavily and eyes blurry with tears as he looked for Leo’s contact. It rang a few times, each tone mocking and too loud, until Leo’s voice appeared like an angel. “Hello? Lucas?” 

“Leo! I-I don’t know what-please come. Eliott just disappeared and said he was going to the r-river and I don’t know where he went!” he sobbed, tripping over every word. He continued moving around in circles, trying desperately to find Eliott. 

“Lucas, just calm down,” Leo soothed, though his voice shook, “Where are you now?” 

“R-right next to the Louis Philippe bridge, I think,” he stammered, looking around at his surroundings. When Leo hung up, Lucas walked onto the bridge, looking over the edge and down into the abyss below. “ELIOTT!” His voice grew hoarse with every scream, the stone of the bridge digging into his fingers as he continued to cry out desperately. His heart knocked against his ribs, blood pumping in his ears, chest aching and lungs heaving. 

Leo appeared not long after, jogging towards him as Lucas sat on the edge of the pavement with his face in his hands, shaking all over. Lucas jumped to his feet when he heard Leo coming, taken aback by the look of the older boy whose eyes were bloodshot and glassy with tears, hair sticking up like Eliott’s usually did. His entire aura just reeked of panic. “What happened?” Leo asked, voice stern and steady despite the rest of his frantic demeanor.

“Eliott rented some old theatre and we were watching a film there, but he wanted to go for a walk, but then-” Lucas interrupted himself with a hiccough, voice breaking and a fresh tear falling down, “But then I looked away for just a minute and he said he was going to the water and he disappeared. He was talking about us dying and then he disappeared and I-I think he’s jumped in or something...” Tears were falling fast now, big dollops landing on the concrete. 

Leo sighed, running his hands through his hair. “My parents are going to kill me. Hopefully the police will find him-”

“Police? But what-” 

Leo groaned in exasperation, shoving Lucas back a step by his shoulders. “HE’S BIPOLAR, LUCAS!” he yelled, gripping onto Lucas’ jacket, tears building in his eyes again. “I don’t know if he told you that but-Lucas he doesn’t have the kind of money to rent out fucking cinemas. He probably stole our dad’s credit card details again because he can’t afford that shit on his own!"

“But-” 

Leo shook his head sharply, letting go of Lucas and taking a deep shuddering breath. “Did you guys smoke?” Lucas grappled for an answer, words dying on his tongue, barely managing a short nod and pinching his fingers together. “That’s not good for him, Lucas. He can’t smoke like you and I can.” Leo’s phone rang in his back pocket and he pulled it out, stepping away from him to answer. “Hello?.. Yes, okay… Thank you. I’ll tell our parents.” 

“Did they find him?” Lucas asked once Leo slid his phone in his pocket once again.

Leo nodded, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. “Yeah. I have to meet our parents to go get him,” he explained, looking down at his feet, sniffling. 

“I’ll come with y-” 

“No. You can’t. Just-” Leo took another deep breath. He gave Lucas a sympathetic smile, eyes glassy and apologetic. “I’ll call you okay? When you can see him or whatever.” Lucas nodded, looking at his feet, chest heaving.

And as quick as Leo came, he was striding back across the bridge, disappearing around the corner and leaving Lucas alone at the middle. 

Lucas screamed over the edge again, voice cracking, sobs wracking his body. His whole body was on fire, overwhelmed beyond compare, fear overtaking him. With another scream, Lucas punched the side of the bridge as hard as he could. He punched it again and again, fingers screaming with pain, stone digging into his skin, but he ignored it. Lucas ignored the physical pain, allowing it to blend in with the onslaught of emotions and tears until his legs gave out and he dropped to the ground, leaning against the side and clutching his bleeding hand. 


	16. We're all here for you

For the rest of the weekend, Lucas spent most of his time in bed, only occasionally getting up for food or the toilet. After getting home at almost midnight, after wandering around the city aimlessly for hours, he had done a poor job of cleaning and wrapping up his hand and then retreated to his bedroom for the rest of the night. He adamantly ignored his roommates' concerned questioning from the other side of the door, instead choosing to stay wrapped up in his duvet. 

On Saturday evening, on his way back from the toilet again, Lucas noticed a piece of black fabric sticking out from under his shelf full of books, leaning down with knitted eyebrows as he lifted it up. As though burnt, he dropped it on the ground as he realised what it was; Eliott's hoodie. 

Despite his best efforts to just ignore it, Lucas ended up wearing the hoodie for the rest of the weekend. It swallowed him whole, the sleeves going past his hands and the hem falling to mid thigh, allowing him to curl up in a tiny ball. He could smell Eliott every time he breathed in, filling his lungs with the familiar scent of cologne, a bit of smoke and something chocolatey. 

At 2 in the morning on Monday, as Lucas curled up in the corner of his bed with Eliott's hood covering his head, Manon's voice filtered in through the bedroom door, accompanied by a hesitant knock. "Lucas?" she asked, barely above a whisper. 

Before he could protest, the door creaked open and Manon stepped inside. She clicked the door shut behind her, leaning against the wall and looking at Lucas tucked into the corner. 

"Manon, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" 

Manon shook her head, stepping closer to the bed. She had unmistakable tear tracks on her cheeks and in the low light of his table lamp, Lucas could see her eyes sparkling from unshed tears. 

"Me neither," she replied in a whisper, "Can I maybe just… sit here for a while?" Lucas nodded, pulling aside his covers to allow her to climb in next to him. Wordlessly, she settled with her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. She sniffled, wiping away a tear from her cheek. 

They stayed like that for a while, sitting together in comfortable and mutually melancholic silence. Despite the constant sinking feeling in his chest since Eliott's disappearance, Lucas felt a sort of solace like this, easily wrapped up with a close friend in quiet affection and empathy. 

After a while, Manon finally spoke up, sitting up a little and looking down at the bed. "Lucas… your hand. What happened?" she asked. Lucas followed her gaze, suddenly remembering his poor hand. 

"I thought we weren't talking about it."

"But you're hurt," Manon insisted, sitting up fully and trying to take his hand, "That looks really painful, Lucas." 

Lucas pulled his hand away, as if her skin were made of fire. Manon gave him a look, shoulders slumping, a pleading look in her eyes. Lucas softened, taking a deep breath. Who was he to try to defy her motherly instincts? "The other night… after something happened, I was upset and took it out on a wall," he explained vaguely, fiddling with the corner of the gauze. 

"Oh, Lucas." Manon delicately held his hand, inspecting the bandages up close, turning his hand over and around. "You want me to help bandage it properly? No more questions asked," she suggested, a tiny smile perking up in the corner of her lips. Lucas nodded quietly and then they clambered out of bed and out into the hall. 

Once the bandage, which was covered in dark, dried blood, was off, Manon winced at the sight. Even Lucas had a double take. All of his knuckles were red and raw, bruised at the edges, skin slightly torn to reveal raw pink. His fingers were badly scraped up as well, painted with the ugly black and blue of his bruising. "Can you move your fingers?" Manon asked, looking away from his hand and up at Lucas. Carefully, Lucas was able to open and close his hand and fingers. Though it ached, he didn't feel anything out of place. "I don't think anything's broken, nothing's swollen and you can move them." Lucas nodded again. 

Manon pulled the first aid kit out from behind the mirror and properly cleaned and used antiseptic on all the many cuts and gashes. Lucas hissed at the burning of the antiseptic but stayed otherwise silent as he let her fix him. Once that was finished, she moved on to wrapping the cuts with more bandages. 

"Charles dumped me," she blurted after a few minutes, almost finished wrapping his hand up, "On Friday." She finished, letting go of his hand and leaning against the sink. 

Lucas frowned deeper, heart sinking. He knew how Manon felt about Charles. Sure, Lucas always thought he was a bit of a prick, but when he made his friend happy, Lucas didn't care. But now. Now Lucas was having to hug her as she cried into his shoulder at 3 am in their bathroom because of him. 

"Let's just go to bed," Lucas suggested once she had calmed down somewhat, reduced to just sniffles. 

Manon nodded and without another word, a silent agreement between the two of them, they both went to sleep in Lucas' room. 

◇

Lucas walked into school that morning like a dead man. He didn't bother fixing his hair or eating breakfast, only changing into a different hoodie besides Eliott's. His feet scuffed the pavement, ankles weighed down by invisible chains, hood pulled up, head down, running on only a couple hours of sleep. While Manon's presence had certainly helped somewhat, it had still been near impossible to get to sleep. 

As he trudged into the courtyard, muttering a somber goodbye to Manon, he caught sight of Yann, Arthur and Basile standing in their usual spot, talking animatedly about something. Upon his entrance, the boys paused their conversation to greet him.

"Woah, hey, man. What the hell happened?" Yann asked once Lucas was close, glancing down at his bandaged hand and back at the deep purple bags under his eyes. 

Lucas brushed his friend's comment away, swatting his uninjured hand dismissively. "It's nothing. Can we not talk about it?" His voice, which he had barely used all weekend since screaming for Eliott, came out harsh and scratchy and surprisingly bitter. He cleared his throat. 

"You sure? We're always here for you. You know that," Arthur said, grabbing one of Lucas' shoulders comfortingly, a sympathetic smile on his face. Lucas shook his head. "Okay, man, that's okay. But we're still here if you change your mind," he added, ruffling Lucas' hair under the hood. 

The bell for classes rang through the courtyard and Arthur, Yann and Lucas started to make their way into the building. Basile, however, stayed back. "Aren't we gonna wait for Eliott?" he asked, holding his arms up as if to say "Duh."

"I don't think he'll be coming, Bas," Lucas said bitterly, already starting towards the school once again. 

The other four followed him towards the building and then Lucas and Arthur split off together to head towards Chemistry. "You sure you don't wanna talk about it? I'm all ears," Arthur said as they made their way down the science corridor together, pushing past others trying to get to class. 

"Yes, Arthur. Just leave it," he snapped, scowling at his friend. "Please." He looked pleadingly at his friend. 

"Okay," Arthur replied. After a beat, "Do you wanna hear about my weekend then? My mum said the most outrageous thing at dinner on Saturday…" And without any further mention of Lucas' issues, Arthur easily slipped into a usual rant about his mother. 

After trying to write notes using his injured hand, Lucas was already starting to feel the extent of his injuries. Each time he gripped his pen too hard, his whole hand ached horribly, making him wince. Initially, Arthur stayed silent, watching him write through the pain without any comment. 

But eventually, when the pain was too overbearing, making him clench his jaw and tears prick in his eyes, Arthur nudged his elbow, leaning closer. "I know you said to leave it, but that looks really painful. What happened?" Arthur asked, eyes pleading and concerned. 

"It's so fucked up, Arthur." 

"Okay, one second," Arthur said and then he was raising his hand. "Lucas' hand hurts, can I take him to the nurse?" Arthur carefully lifted Lucas' wrist to show his bandaged hand to their teacher. 

"And why do you need to go with him?" 

Arthur shrugged. "What if the pain is too much and he faints in the hallway? Someone's gotta catch him." he replied nonchalantly. Lucas gaped at his friend. 

Not ten seconds later, they were both out in the hallway together. "Come on," Arthur whispered, grabbing his wrist and pulling Lucas along the corridor. Lucas stumbled after him for a few minutes until they reached an empty classroom, which Arthur promptly tugged him inside and settled on top of one of the desks. 

"Why did you do that?" Lucas asked, sitting down in front of Arthur on another desk and fiddling with a loose strand of his bandage. 

"More privacy. Less writing for your poor hand, too," Arthur said, as if it was nothing. As if he hadn't just done one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him. "Did something happen with Eliott, then?" Arthur prompted, gesturing to Lucas' hand. 

Lucas nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. "It's so fucked up, Arthur, seriously," he replied, "We went on a date on Friday and he rented out this old theatre to watch some black and white movie just the two of us and it was… so good. It was wonderful…" Lucas trailed off, remembering how Eliott had looked in the faint glow of the screen, heart aching with the ghost of a memory. 

"But he was acting sort of weird and jittery and going on about this crazy story about popcorn. Then he wanted to go for a walk even though the film wasn't over yet," he continued, heart picking up pace with a distant, constant worry. "He had a joint which we smoked as well while we walked, but then I sat down for a minute and I was distracted and he just...disappeared. I had no idea where he went and I had to call Leo." Lucas broke off, breathing heavily before he could finish. "Eliott had tried to jump off a bridge." 

Arthur's eyes widened, eyebrows raising almost to his hair line. "Seriously?" 

Lucas nodded again. "Leo came to the bridge and he yelled at me before he got a call that Eliott had been found," Lucas continued, voice hoarse and wobbly, "He told me Eliott's bipolar." Lucas finished his explanation with tears pricking his eyes, bitterness settling in his stomach along with butterflies flapping mercilessly in his gut. 

"Fuck, Lucas," Arthur said, shaking his head in disbelief, "That must have been terrifying."

"It was. I had no idea where he went and he was talking about how we should die that night because we had peaked or something." Lucas lifted his bandaged hand weakly, looking at the raw skin of his fingers, which weren't covered by the bandage. "After Leo left, I punched a wall." 

Arthur winced, screwing his eyes shut. "Do you… know if he's okay now? You said they found him, but if all that happened, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still feeling like shit," Arthur asked hesitantly. 

Lucas scoffed. "Leo wouldn't even let me go with him to see him, so I don't fucking know," he remarked, a sour taste in his mouth, "All I know is that he's crazy." 

"You know, I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing when Leo yelled at you, he was just scared for Eliott. If he's got an actual disorder, this sort of thing could have happened before, so he was probably just worried about that," Arthur pointed out, "I know for a fact that you sometimes snap at people when you're stressed or worried." 

Lucas laughed bitterly. "Am I that awful of a friend?" 

Arthur shook his head intently, slinging and arm around Lucas' shoulders and pulling him closer. "I'd say you're a pretty good friend even when you're a stressed out ball of anger," he replied with a light chuckle, "But really. Just give them both time." 

"But Arthur, do I need to have two crazy people in my life? I don't know if I can handle that." 

Arthur squeezed his shoulders, pulling away just slightly to look him in the eyes. "You like Eliott a lot, right?" he asked. 

Lucas nodded. "More than I've ever liked anyone else. He was… he was special…" 

"Then isn't he worth it?" he asked, pulling away to clamber off of the desk. "If you really like him more than anyone else, if he's really that special, I think it's worth it. He's definitely worth at least trying, I think." Arthur held onto Lucas' shoulders, holding onto his gaze. "Eliott's a good guy, Lucas. It's obvious he makes you happy, so I wouldn't let him go so easily just because it's hard." Lucas sniffled and only then did he notice his cheeks were wet. 

"Do you really think I'm capable of that?" he asked faintly, cheeks flushed and damp. He glanced up at Arthur, pulling his lower lip in between his teeth. 

"If you can tolerate Bas, I'm certain you can handle anything," Arthur joked, lightly pushing his shoulder. He frowned again. "But really, Lucas. You've got a whole lot of love to give and I think Eliott deserves to get some of that." 

Lucas huffed a laughed, wiping his nose on his sleeve and blushing once again. "Thanks, Arthur," he muttered sincerely, shooting Arthur a small yet grateful smile. 

"Anytime," Arthur replied, pulling Lucas to a standing position to give him a proper bear hug, squeezing him tightly. "Now we should probably go back to class before they realise we definitely aren't in the nurse's office." Arthur pulled away from the hug and together they walked back into the corridors and made their way back to class. 

Lucas felt just a little bit lighter after that.


	17. Running away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: implied suicidal ideation (very brief, at the end of the chapter)

The next day during lunch, Lucas was sitting with the other boys when Leo Demaury walked in with Alex and another guy from their year Lucas didn't know the name of. Halfway through taking a sip of his water, Lucas promptly spat his drink all over the table as he choked, eyes widening like saucers. The other three boys all gave him equally shocked faces, trying to move their food out of the spray instinctively. 

Yann patted Lucas on the back, raising an eyebrow at his friend as he spluttered and coughed, eyes still glued to the other side of the room. "You okay, man?" Yann asked, half amused and half concerned.

Lucas nodded distractedly, watching Leo walk across the cafeteria towards the lunch queue, heart in his stomach. Arthur looked over his shoulder to see what Lucas was looking at and then his whole face contorted into one of shock and sympathy. He turned back to Lucas, smiling sympathetically and patting his hand across the table. 

Yann narrowed his eyes at Arthur's gesture, looking back and forth between the two boys. "Am I missing something here?" Yann asked, putting his knife and fork down and turning sideways to glance at Lucas. Basile watched the scene unfold, water cup halfway to his mouth.

"It's nothing, Yann. Don't worry about it," he mumbled, glancing up to see if Leo was leaving. Instead, he just caught Arthur's eye. He was surprised to find a rather disapproving stare from the normally carefree boy. He sighed, looking away from Arthur. "Fine. Something happened on my date with Eliott on Friday and I found out he's bipolar when Leo came to shout at me because I lost him. And Leo's back apparently but he skipped math first period," Lucas explained, speaking rapidly and stumbling over his words. "That's how I got this," he added, raising his bandaged hand. 

Basile's eyebrows raised and he put his cup back down finally, beginning to cut up a bit of his chicken. "Eliott's bipolar?" he said, shoving a piece in his mouth. Lucas nodded. "So is my mum. It's not that bad, usually." 

At Basile's sudden casual admittance, the other three boys froze, staring at him in surprise. "Seriously?" Lucas asked, eyes bulging.

Basile nodded. "Oh, yeah. Had it for years. She's actually just fun when she's manic. Once flew to meet Brad Pitt and broke into his house or something," he explained through a mouthful of food, "Almost set fire to our house another time. What did Eliott do?"

"He stole his dad's credit card to rent out a movie theatre and then tried to jump off a bridge." 

"He rented out a whole movie theatre just for a date?" Lucas nodded, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. "Wow, that's awesome! I wish someone would do that for me," Basile exclaimed, splattering more food onto the table as he continued to eat like he hadn't seen food in decades. It was almost putting Lucas off eating. 

"Bas, it's not 'awesome,' it's horrible! He could have gotten really hurt," Lucas chastised, scandalised. 

"But he didn't." 

"But he could have!" 

Basile rolled his eyes, putting his cutlery down. "You can't just keep on worrying about the possibility of him getting hurt or you'll drive yourself mad. He didn't get hurt, so don't dwell on it," Basile stated. Lucas gaped at him, blinking. He exchanged confused glances with the other two. 

"Did Basile just give good advice?" Arthur teased, sitting up straighter and nudging him in the side with a teasing glint in his eyes. "It must be the Second Coming or the end of the world!" Basile rolled his eyes, scowling. Arthur chuckled, shoulder checking his friend and almost knocking him out of his seat. As per usual, the two boys began full out attacking each other, pushing and shoving and swearing, gaining various looks from people at surrounding tables. 

As they watched their friends fighting, Yann tapped Lucas' shoulder, pulling his eyes away to meet his dark brown ones, which were filled with concern still and—and surprisingly—a few tears. Lucas stared at him in confusion, eyebrows furrowed. In an instant, Yann pulled Lucas into another tight hug, knocking the wind out of him and patting him on the back. "Don't you dare go through something alone again, you hear me?" Yann whispered, voice short and breathless, choked up. Lucas nodded, his own eyes welling up with tears as he buried his face in his friend's shoulder. "That's what friends are for, you idiot," Yann added, making Lucas force out a broken laugh. 

"I know. I'm sorry," Lucas whispered, holding his friend tighter, breathing shakily. 

"Oi, get a room you two. You're both dating other people." Arthur's voice, humourous and light as always, broke the two boys out of their little bubble and they pulled apart. Lucas wiped a stray tear from his lashes using the back of his pointer finger and shared a knowing glance with Yann. He nudged Lucas playfully in the side and then, as if nothing had changed in the atmosphere, as if Leo wasn't staring daggers across the room, they both joined in on Arthur and Basile's meaningless chatter. 

◇

That evening, while working on homework next to Manon at the coloc, Lucas felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Instantly, he dropped his pen and scrambled to pull his phone out to check who it was. Instead of Leo or even Eliott, however, a message from his mum was staring mockingly up at him, bordered by his lockscreen of him and Yann posing with a skateboard a while back. 

**Mama:** Are you coming for dinner on Thursday? 

As if he couldn't be any worse of a son, in the last few weeks of chaos, Lucas had completely forgotten about his mother's birthday.

**Lucas:** Of course. What time?

**Mama:** 17h? 

**Lucas:** Sounds good. See you then

As he slid his phone back into his pocket, a feeling of disappointment at both himself and the universe settling on his shoulders, Manon sent him a curious glance, putting her own pen on the table. "Any news yet?" she asked, gesturing vaguely in the direction of his pockets. Since getting home that day, Lucas had confided in Manon more about the situation with Eliott. 

Lucas shook his head. "Nope. It was actually a message from my mother," he replied, "I, uh, sorta forgot it's her birthday on Thursday. I'm a horrible son." He read over the message again and scrolled up some more to read other messages. All from his mother. Bible verses and confusing yet loving words. All left on read. Lucas sighed, putting his phone down on the table and burying his face in his hands, shaking his head at himself. 

He felt Manon slipping an arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder blade where he was hunched over the table. "You're not a horrible son. It's not a crime to forget someone's birthday once." She rubbed her hand up and down his arm in a comforting manner, sending goosebumps all along his arm.

Lucas removed his face from his hands and sat back in his chair, facing Manon with a hopeless expression, tears in the corners of his eyes like glass pools. "But I _am_. I left her when she needed me most and I never replied to her texts because I never know what to say back," Lucas rambled, blinking back tears to keep the dam intact. "And now in all this mess I even forgot her birthday on top of that. Trust me, Manon, I'm a terrible son." 

"Are you going to celebrate with her then?" she asked, clearly choosing to ignore his insistence for the time being. Lucas nodded, chewing on one of his thumb nails. "Then you can make it up to her then. Prove that you're not a horrible son and that you aren't going to run away anywhere." She squeezed his shoulders again, smiling and reaching up to swipe away a tear on his cheek. "You're not running away anywhere, are you?" 

Lucas shook his head. "Definitely not. Not anymore."

◇

It was almost seven on Thursday and Lucas was standing on the front step of his old house, dressed in a simple white button down, blue jeans and a navy blazer, carrying a bouquet of lilies. Taking a deep breath, Lucas pressed his thumb on the doorbell. 

After a few seconds, he heard the familiar click of the locks in the door and then the familiar smiling face of Colette, his mum's carer, appeared. "Lucas! Hello! Come on in, your mother is coming just now." She stepped aside, holding the door open to allow Lucas to step inside the warm house.

"Lucas?" 

Looking up, a broad grin spread across Lucas' face as his mother made her way into the room, smiling fondly. She looked good, dressed in a simple navy v-neck dress and her blonde hair nicely styled to frame her face. She walked over to Lucas, arms open wide, pulling him into a hug. Lucas sighed, wrapping his arms around her and tucking his face in her shoulder, chest tight. He breathed in her familiar scent, allowing it to envelope him after months of lacking it. He missed having this.

"You brought flowers." Once Lucas pulled out of the hug, his mother gestured to the flowers by his side which were now dropping loose petals on the carpet from their embrace. Smiling, she took the flowers from Lucas and put them on the table by the front door to put in a vase later. "Let me get my purse and we can get going." 

◇

The restaurant Lucas had picked was a quaint, family-owned Italian restaurant on the corner of a small, mostly empty street. It had a large bottle green awning overhanging various tables and chairs and was lit up by glittering fairy lights. Lucas' heart panged at the sight of the lights, but ignored it in favour of leading his mother inside the restaurant. Thankfully, there were only a few other people eating that night, the room filled with a pleasant hum of conversation and faint bubbling laughter.

The waiter standing to greet them was a handsome Italian-looking boy around Lucas' age, dressed in a white button down and black jeans, a green apron wrapped around his waist and his dark brown hair styled in a curly mess that fell into his eyes. "Welcome to Fratelli's! Have you got a reservation?" the boy asked, shooting Lucas and his mother a charming grin.

"Uh, yeah. It should be booked under Lallemant, I think," Lucas replied, returning the smile politely. 

The boy scanned his clipboard in front of him for a moment and then looked back up at them, still grinning. "Here you are. If you'd please follow me." Lucas guided his mother through the maze of chairs and table by linking his arm with hers, occasionally turning to smile at her. Eventually, they reached a small booth laden with a small vase of scarlet flowers Lucas didn't recognise and a couple of off white candle sticks. 

Once the waiter was gone, Lucas and his mother fell into a rather awkward silence, the atmosphere around them hesitant and unsure. It had been so long since they had been face to face that neither of them knew quite how to act around the other. Lucas swallowed anxiously, giving his mother another tight lipped smile. 

"How have you been lately?" Lucas finally asked, not long after another waiter poured them both glasses of ice water and took their drink orders. He scanned the menu for something relatively affordable, glancing up as he waited for a reply. 

"I'm doing much better now. Especially spending my birthday with you tonight," she replied cheerfully, lifting her glass to her lips and taking a long sip. "How are you, dear? How is school? Is there any girl in your life perhaps?" She turned the question back around on him, smiling expectantly at him.

Lucas cleared his throat, feeling a vein in his neck popping somewhere. He took his own gulp of the freezing water, stalling for time, grappling for a vague enough answer. "School is okay. Studying for the bac and going to parties with the guys sometimes," he replied, putting his drink down. "But uhh, no haven't got a, uh, girl in my life, no. I actually—"

Before he could finish, a waitress appeared by their table, dyed red hair tied in a high ponytail and clutching a small notepad. "Are you guys ready to order?" she asked, a broad, fake smile spread across her face. It didn't reach her eyes. 

"Uh, I am. You?" Lucas glanced at his mother who replied with a short nod. 

They ordered their food and finally, the waitress was wandering away, tucking her notebook into the back pocket of her jeans. As they fell back into silence, Lucas sent out a silent prayer to the universe, to any deities that may be out there, that his mother would be fine with changing the subject off of him and his potential love life. 

Clearly, the universe had it out for him. 

"What was it you were saying about girls, darling?" Mrs. Lallemant asked, raising her eyebrows to lead him on in his answer. It was then that Lucas recognised his own expression written on her face. Every reminder of just how similar they were pained Lucas to think about it. To think about how he'd left her. 

Lucas drew a long breath, shutting his eyes briefly, on the brink once again. He was standing at the edge of a precipice, staring down at a seemingly endless abyss, no idea how far he was about to tumble. Lucas coughed, looking out across the precipice, grappling for the rights words like they were all that kept him from falling to his death. "Well, you see, the thing is… I haven't found a girl—well I don't _want_  a girl because, well," he fumbled, face a furious crimson. He choked once again, wobbling, hand searching blindly for the glass of water to his right. "Because I'm gay."

"And I'm sorry if this ruins your birthday or if you never want to see me again, but yeah. I'm gay," he continued, voice picking up pace along with his heartbeat. His blood rushed in his ears deafeningly loud over the tinny of the restaurant. He had stepped off the edge and time was standing still. 

Mrs. Lallemant's eyes softened further and she reached across the table, taking one of his hands, prying his fingers apart. He hadn't noticed how tightly he hand been gripping his hands into fists. "Lucas, my dear dear boy, from the moment I first saw you, I loved everything about you. Everything. I loved your bright beautiful blue eyes and your little giggles and those precious dimples," she said, hand tightening its grip, "I have loved you since the moment I first saw you and absolutely nothing could change that. If you are happiest with another boy, then I will be the happiest woman alive." 

And just like that, Lucas landed. The fall he had expected turned into a leap upwards. Lucas squeezed his mother's hand, breathing shaky and tears welling up in his eyes. "You don't mind? Even though the Bible says—" he began, voice quaking. 

Mrs. Lallemant cut him off, shaking her head. "I have no reason to judge you for who you are, for who you love, Lucas. I know God made you just as He wanted you to be because I know you. God wants you to be just the way you are and I have no right to change that." She leaned over the table carefully, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead that sent Lucas into a spiral. Just like that, as if her words or her simple affection had broken a dam, Lucas found himself sobbing in the middle of the restaurant. Great fat tears plummeted down his cheeks, relief settling in his chest so much he felt he could explode with it. 

A throat cleared beside the table and when Lucas looked up, their waitress was back, carrying two plates of food and looking uncomfortable.

"What happened to your hand?" his mother asked once the waitress was gone and they were both tucking into their dinner. Lucas froze, knife scraping on the plate and making them both jump. He wiped the lingering dampness from his cheeks, sniffling.

"It's okay. I was being dumb. Something happened with a boy I like and I just got a little carried away with my emotions," he admitted, keeping his reply vague. He couldn't bring himself to say much else. Couldn't find it in himself to tell his mother about how he had hurt himself out of sheer frustration. 

"You didn't hurt anyone, did you?" she asked. She sounded scared then. Lucas would do anything to keep her from feeling that way again. 

Lucas shook his head insistently, grabbing her hand again. "No, mum, don't worry. I couldn't do that." he insisted. 

"That boy you liked, does he make you happy? Is he worth getting yourself so hurt like that?" 

Lucas thought. He put his cutlery on the plate and looked down at their hands linked across the table. "I would like to think so, yeah." 

◇

A little while later, Lucas was in the midst of rambling to his mother about biology, halfway through their shared slice of tiramisu. The atmosphere was lighter than it had been in a long time. Even though he could tell his mother had no idea what he was talking about, was probably only half listening, Lucas felt overwhelmed by the fondness that seemed to drip from her every pore. It had been so long since Lucas had been with his mother and yet he felt like he had finally come home again, despite the initial awkwardness. 

Lucas was about to ask his mother another question when he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket. He ignored it, beginning to ask his mother something before the phone buzzed once again. And again. And again. Lucas sighed, reaching into his back pocket. "I'm sorry, I should probably check this," he apologised, looking down at the screen. 

**Leo:** hey lucas i know we didn't exactly leave off very well but have you seen eliott or know where he might be by any chance? 

**Leo:** we only got back from picking him up a few hours ago and now he's disappeared

**Leo:** please please call me if you know where he is. 

Lucas' eyes bulged out of his skull as he scanned over the messages once, twice, a third time. Eliott was missing again? Where had they been picking him up from? Where was he now? What happened? Why was Leo asking _him?_  

Lucas opened up his conversation with Eliott, fingers shaking, causing him to mistype and retype a hundred times over.

**Me:** Eliott where are you? Leo said they can't find you. We're all worried.

With another shuddering breath, Lucas put his phone facedown on the table, looking back up at his mother. She was fixing him with a concerned look, head tilted to the side and eyes soft. He felt thoroughly exposed for no reason. 

"Is everything alright? You look suddenly worried," his mother asked, taking his hand once again, a sympathetic, soft smile on her lips now.

Before he could reply, he was cut off once again by the buzzing of his phone on the table. He gave his mum an apologetic smile and grabbed the phone, unlocking it faster than he ever had before.

**Eliott:** Dear Lucas, I want to first say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I scared you the other day and for not telling you sooner. Leo told me you know now. I'm sorry I can't be enough for you. You deserve so much more than me. You deserve the whole world. I'm sorry for this most of all. But I deserve this instead. I definitely do not deserve you, Lucas. In this world I have always been alone and I always will be. I wish I didn't have to leave you but I never want to take you where I'm going. So instead I leave you with this.

**Eliott:** Lucas, from the moment I saw you I knew you were it for me. My whole life was just waiting for you. I'm happy for the short time we've had together. I hope in all the other universes that we can be together, that I can be enough for you. I'm sorry. 

Below the last message was a picture of a drawing. A two piece cartoon. On one half, a raccoon and a hedgehog embraced in the light of a street lamp. On the other half, the raccoon sat alone, ears down and scowling, the light facing away from him. Underneath in Eliott's familiar scrawl it read: Eliott number 3798 has the courage

Lucas' phone slid from his hand, bouncing onto the floor with a faint crack, landing face down on the carpeted floor. And then Lucas' whole world crashed into the sun. 


	18. Give him time

With a shuddering breath, Lucas plucked his phone from the floor. It thankfully only had a small crack in one of the corners. He turned to his mum, lip wobbling. "Mum?" 

She smiled knowingly. "It's the boy, isn't it?" Lucas nodded. "I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

Lucas stood up on unstable legs, pulling out his wallet. He tossed in a handful of euros, bending down to give his mother a quick, tight hug. "Happy birthday. I promise I'll make it up to you again. Soon." 

And then he was scuttling out of the restaurant, bounding down the street, feet hitting the pavement only barely as he practically flew through the streets. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, arms pumping by his sides, a whole drum set beating against his chest cavity, chest heaving. He pushed past multiple people, just barely dodging an oncoming car as he sprinted across the street, only looking back for a split second out of instinct. 

Lucas sprinted the entire way through the endless side streets, panting, bounding past familiar and unfamiliar streets alike. 

Finally, after sprinting for a completely undetermined time, Lucas stumbled to a stop, back in the familiar courtyard. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, turning on his flashlight and pointing it around the dark area. "E-Eliott? Eliott?" he called, looking around frantically, tripping over his feet in the dark and shining the white light into all the windows and into all the corners. Nothing. He was too late.

Eliott was nowhere to be found. 

Lucas bit his lip, teeth chattering and turned his phone screen on again. He read over the messages Eliott had last sent once again, tears beading in his eyes at the heavy implications of Eliott's messages. Lucas' knees buckled and he landed on the cold and slightly damp concrete, a sob escaping his lips. Eliott was gone and Lucas was alone. 

As the sobs wracked his whole body, forcing him to lean against a wall of one of the grimey buildings, Lucas pulled up his contacts, scrolling frantically. His fingers trembled violently, almost dropping the phone as he clicked on the contact he needed. As he waited for the phone to stop ringing, Lucas stumbled to his feet. Finally, after only 4 long rings, Yann's voice came over the phone. 

"Lucas? Is everything okay? I thought you were with your mum." Yann asked, voice laced with worry. Lucas never called unless he was desperate. 

"Yann?" he sobbed into the phone, gripping tight and taking a few wayward steps forwards. 

"Lucas? What happened? Are you okay?" Yann blurted, voice raising a pitch or two.

Lucas shook his head, wandering aimlessly out of the courtyard and making his way down the street with heavy, thudding footsteps. "It's Eliott. He's _gone._ " Lucas hiccoughed, turning down a street he didn't recognise at all.

 "Gone? What do you mean? Lucas you aren't making any sense," Yann said. His voice softened. "You have to breathe, Lucas or you're going to pass out."

Lucas gulped down a bucketload of air, though it did little to help. "Leo messaged me saying he couldn't f-find him and then _Eliott_ messaged me and—" He interrupted himself with another wailing, echoing sob. "It sounded like a goodbye." 

Lucas continued fumbling his way down the street, sobbing into the phone and earning odd looks from passersby. "Like a proper one? A  _goodbye goodbye?_ " Yann clarified, his own voice beginning to turn slightly shaky as he took in Lucas' barely coherent words.

"Yes. _Fuck,_  Yann." 

He scrubbed his hand over his face, making his way onto a larger main street. He could see a large foot bridge spanning across the great black water, which had another pathway underneath it. Lucas made his way over on jelly legs, tears still streaking his face and wetting his shirt. 

"Do you need me to come and get you?" Yann asked on instinct, steadying his voice with a thick clear of his throat. It was much more hoarse than before, however.

Lucas sniffled, clambering down the steps like a drunk man. "I don't know. Maybe. I don't know where I am," he babbled, leaning against the stone wall for support, grappling for air though he couldn't reach it far enough. 

Under the bridge, which was relatively high above the water, Lucas caught sight of a tall figure standing, looking down at the water. They were mostly cast into darkness, shrouded from view, a vague silhouette of a person. It was a vast contrast to the bright glow of the city which was blinding Lucas in his panicked state. 

"Lucas? You there? Are you okay?" Yann's voice came over the line again, startling Lucas back into reality.

"One second. I'm-I'm gonna call you back." Lucas hung up the phone and turned his phone's flashlight on again. He walked over on uneven, frantic steps as he made his way towards the small tunnel formed by the bridge. The greyish water lapped up the sides of the bank, tiny droplets splashing upwards onto the pavement. "Eliott? Eliott, is that you?" he asked tentatively, shining the light towards the figure.

The other person gasped, falling to the ground while their hands continued to grip onto the handrail for dear life. "Eliott?" Lucas repeated, taking another step forwards, lighting the other properly the closer he got. 

Eliott was on his haunches, fingers pale with the grip on the metal, tears soaking his face and shaking his head back and forth. "I can't. I can't. I can't," he kept on saying, voice broken and raw.

Lucas dropped onto the ground once again, leaving no space between them as he pulled Eliott into his arms. Eliott fell away, letting go of the bar and shuddering. He shook his head again, looking away from him with tears in his eyes. "Hey. Hey, look at me," Lucas whispered, tilting Eliott's chin up and leaning their heads together, "You're not alone, okay? You're not. And you are enough. You've always been enough." Lucas cupped Eliott's cheeks with his hands, staring into his deep swimming pool eyes and losing himself a little inside of their intense depth. "I'm here. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." 

Another sob from Eliott and then he was gripping onto Lucas' jacket, face buried into his collar, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Lucas rubbed his hand up and down Eliott's back, holding onto him like a life raft. "Shh, I'm here, Eliott. I'm here. I'll always be here." 

◇

Eliott ended up staying the night at the flatshare after Yann came and picked them both up. He stayed mostly silent as they sat in Yann's back seat, clutching onto Lucas and leaning all of his weight on him. Yann didn't ask any questions, just glancing in the rearview mirror every so often and hugging Lucas out the window when he dropped them off outside the flat. 

Now, on Sunday morning, Eliott was still there. He was fast asleep as usual, curled up in a ball under Lucas' duvet and dressed in a pair of Lucas' hoodies and t-shirts. Lucas was sitting up in bed beside him, half on his phone, half watching Eliott. Mostly watching Eliott. Lucas read over his latest texts with Leo then, trying to fill the time before Eliott woke up that afternoon. 

**Me:**  I've got him now. He's at my flatshare, is that okay? 

**Leo:** is he okay?

**Leo:**  my parents said it's okay for him to stay with you if that's what he needs rn

**Me:** He's asleep now, but that's all I can get from him

**Leo:** that's the usual. keep me updated 

Underneath the covers, Eliott began to stir finally, stretching his arms out in front of him and rolling over, hands searching for Lucas. Lucas put his phone down on the bed beside him and scooted down a bit to allow Eliott to use him as a teddy bear, resting his head on Lucas' chest and gripping onto his hoodie. Lucas smiled, fingers combing through his tangled brown hair slowly. He was oddly content sitting there curled up with Eliott in his arms, despite the constant thrum at the back of his mind about Eliott's wellbeing. As long as Eliott was with him, he knew he was safe.

◇

The wind whipped through the streets of Paris, a chill spreading as autumn turned to winter, leaves fluttering from the trees and landing dead. A bus was pulling from its stop, grey fuel filtering out of the exhaust pipe. Lucas was standing on the edge of the pavement, hands in his pockets, watching, waiting. 

"Lucas!" He turned towards the voice, smiling when he made eye contact with Leo as he crossed the road. They hugged briefly in greeting and then Leo stepped away, crossing his arms over his chest. "Shall we head to a cafe or something?" he asked, gesturing down the street. Lucas bobbed his head, following him. "How is he?" he asked, glancing around, a slight nervous energy radiating off him as they walked together past shops and restaurants. 

"He's still really only sleeping and only eats a little bit," he said, "But I don't really know how he's feeling now. He isn't talking much and I don't want to scare him away." They turned into a small cafe at the corner, sitting down across from each other under the blue umbrella.

Leo frowned, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "That's normal. After he has an episode he's usually pretty tired for a few days. Just, you know, give him time," Leo explained, shrugging. A waiter came over carrying a notepad and the two boys paused their conversation to order coffees. "Are you going to school tomorrow? You should," Leo asked once the waiter had left. 

Lucas shrugged, fidgeting with the silver sugar tongs on the plate between them. "I dunno. I don't want Eliott to be left all by himself while we're all out at work or school." Leo gave him a look, raising an eyebrow. "It's not that I don't trust him. I just don't want him to get lonely or something," Lucas added, flushing under Leo's look.

Leo shook his head and replied, "He's not a child Lucas. He can take care of himself. I'm sure he'll survive a day by himself." He paused, watching a lady walking past with a toddler and a small pomeranian. "God knows he's used to being alone all the time…" he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean? Alone all the time?" 

"Not exactly alone, really. Our mum has been ill on and off for years and usually stays at the hospital and our dad always worked late, so that's why we pretty much live alone now," Leo explained. He paused as the waiter placed their drinks and cake on the table, muttering his thanks. "He's been lonely for a long time, I think. He lost touch with friends recently and he's struggled with making friends since his diagnosis. Everyone found out at school and it wasn't very fun for him." 

"That just makes me want to leave him alone even less," Lucas said hopelessly, fingers skimming through his hair.

"I'm not an expert, but right now I think he just needs support. Whether that's from a distance or not is up to him, really," Leo said. He took a sip of his drink, wincing and adding a couple sugars to his coffee using the tongs, swirling the beige liquid with a teaspoon. "But be prepared to… deal with some shit. Sometimes he snaps at you or pushes you away, but don't let yourself think he doesn't like you. Because he does. He never fucking shuts up about just how much." He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Lucas leaned back in his chair, taking a gulp of his latte and briefly taking a look at their surroundings. Despite the cold, it really was a nice day, birds chirping and the sun low in the sky and washing the city in a pleasant glow. "Thanks for meeting me today, by the way. It's helped a lot," Lucas admitted, putting the coffee cup down on its plate. "I've researched all about bipolar disorder almost constantly the last few days, but I still had no idea how to help him or be there for him. So thanks." 

Leo shrugged, holding his hand up for a fist bump over the table. Lucas obliged, rolling his eyes and smirking. "No problem, man," he said, dropping his hand in his lap. His smirk fell from his face however and he glanced down at his plate. "I should probably apologise about the other day, as well. For shouting at you and then ditching you in the middle of the city at night. That was pretty shit of me to do." 

Lucas shook his head, touching Leo's wrist momentarily. "It's okay. I get that you were just stressed about Eliott," he reassured, eyes softening. 

Leo sat up straight, huffing. "But that doesn't give me an excuse for how I reacted. You had absolutely no idea what was going on and you weren't to know about what to do or not do if Eliott hadn't told you yet," he said, speaking rapidly, "Yeah, I was scared because that was a pretty bad episode in a long time, but you looked even more terrified with the situation. I shouldn't have been so harsh." Leo placed his hand on top of Lucas' and sent him a half smile. "So, I'm sorry once again." 

They sat in silence for a little while after that, drinking their coffee and watching the world go by. It was pleasant again with Leo. Lucas had almost forgotten about how comfortable he could be around Leo. But something still nagged at the back of his mind, a whisper that grew louder and louder until it was almost screaming in his head.

"You said your mum has been sick on and off for years. What did you mean by that?" Lucas asked slowly, tentatively, voice low and hesitant. He sipped his drink, looking up curiously over the rim of the cup. 

Leo scratched the back of his head and drummed his fingers on the table, nervous. "Ever since I can remember, our mum has always been pretty unhealthy and weak. She often ends up in hospitals long term for treatments pretty frequently," he explained, frown deepening with every word, "She was doing okay for a good while recently, but she fell ill a couple weeks ago and had to be sent to emergency care in the middle of the night. I think Eliott was staying at yours that night, actually." Now that he thought about it, Lucas could remember how Eliott had gone, stating that Leo had called him to come home for a family emergency. His gut twisted horribly as he remembered the slight bitterness he had felt when Eliott left him, now seeing as it was because his mother was sick. 

"Eliott never took it well, our mum getting sick. He tells people she works a lot like our dad, but she's just usually too sick to leave hospital or hospice," Leo added, almost choking on his hot coffee as he remembered the extra detail. "It's a complicated situation to say the least." 

Leo's phone chimed in his coat pocket then, a light, tinkling sound and he pulled it out to look at his message. His eyebrows furrowed with focus as he read over the message and then he slid it back inside his pocket, finishing off the last few mouthfuls of his coffee in one large gulp. Lucas squinted his eyes and tilted his head as Leo proceeded to get up from his seat, wiping his mouth on his napkin. 

"That's my cue to leave, unfortunately. But it was good to see you," Leo said, pushing his chair under the table. He pulled out a few euro coins from his wallet and plopped them onto the table. 

Lucas grabbed his wrist to keep him from going. "You're sure it's okay for Eliott to keep staying with me?" 

"I think it's better for him right now. He feels safest with you, clearly, so yeah." Lucas nodded, dropping Leo's wrist. "See you at school tomorrow?" he added, raising his eyebrows. 

Lucas nodded, smiling. "Probably. See you later." He watched Leo crossing the street again, waving over his shoulder and walking back in the direction he had originally come from earlier. Lucas continued to sip his coffee and eat his cake for a few minutes before going inside with the cash to pay for their food and grab a croissant to go. 

With the birds singing their light tunes and the lightest of breezes on his skin, Lucas wandered his way back to the flat, happier than he'd been in a while.


	19. Try for you

"Lucas? Are you coming?" The next morning, Manon was standing in the doorway of Lucas' bedroom, bag slung over her shoulder while Lucas was bent over his desk writing something on a slip of scrap paper. 

He nodded, placing the paper carefully on the bed beside an Eliott-sized lump under the covers. "I'll meet you downstairs in a minute. Just wait outside for me," he said over his shoulder, only now starting to pack his homework into his backpack.

Manon gave him a thumbs up and then turned, shutting the door behind her. He heard the door to the flat shutting not long after. Lucas was about to open his bedroom door, bag already over his shoulders when he heard a rustling under the covers and Eliott rolled over on his side, facing him. He looked up at Lucas from his place in the bed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and dark circles prominent under his normally bright eyes.

"What are you doing? Don't you have school today?" he asked, voice coming out hoarse and strained from relative silence for the last few days. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, setting up on his elbows.

Lucas flapped his hand vaguely, shrugging. "I was about to," he said, lifting one of the straps, "But I can stay if you like? Lisa doesn't have work until later today, so she'll be here, but I don't mi—" 

"I don't need to be babied, Lucas. You don't need to constantly watch over me like I'm about to break," Eliott retorted, voice harsh and jarring, making Lucas stumble back a step in surprise. His heart hammered in his chest on instinct, grip tightening on his bag. He opened his mouth to reply, but Eliott beat him once again, sitting up. "I can stay here by myself, I'm used to it. You don't have to be so fucking overbearing like everybody else!" 

"Eliott, I _was_ leav—" 

Eliott slapped his hand on the bed, startling Lucas back yet another step, eyes going wide as saucers. "Just _go_ , Lucas!" he demanded, face red with anger. He glanced at the paper on the bed beside him and grabbed it in a fist. "And take the stupid note and fuck off!" He tore the paper in half, chucking it in Lucas' direction and then turning over again, throwing the covers over his head.

Lucas stepped heavily over to the bed and picked up the torn paper in shaking hands, a teardrop dripping onto the hardwood. "I-I'll see you later," he mumbled, sniffling as he shoved the ripped note in his back pocket. "There's food in the fridge—I-if you want it." Lucas slipped back into the hallway, shutting the door behind him and dragging his way over to the front door. He fumbled with his keys as he attempted to lock the door, eyes blurry with tears and fingers trembling. 

When he got downstairs, Manon was still standing outside, leaning against a lamppost and typing something on her phone. When the door slammed behind him, she looked up, face instantly falling and she pushed herself off the lamp and strided over to him, eyebrows furrowed and a deep frown set in her face.

"Don't," he choked out, "I don't wanna talk about it." He started down the pavement, legs and hands trembling, blinking back tears. 

"We don't have to," Manon replied, catching up to him. She gave him a sad smile and took his hand in her own, squeezing it lightly. 

The rest of the way to school was complete silence. 

◇

First period Biology, Lucas slumped into his usual seat, dropping his bag in front of him with a thud. Imane, who had been looking down to reply to a message looked up at the sound, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. His face must have been readable as her look twisted from curiosity to concern in a nanosecond. 

"Are you okay? You look kinda like you've been crying." 

"It's fine. I'm fine now," he remarked maybe a little too harsh. Imane sat back, tilting her head and giving him her usual 'You're not getting away with that' look. He sighed, looking out the windows of the classroom which overlooked the courtyard. "I got in an argument with Eliott about something. I was just shaken by the yelling, I guess," he admitted, toying with his fingers on top of his unopened bag. 

"Was it a big argument?" she asked. Arthur entered the class followed by Alexia and they both waved at Imane and Lucas as they wandered over to their desks. Arthur seemed to sense something was off, pausing to give him a look before continuing to his desk.

Lucas shook his head. "Not really. He just sorta snapped at me because I offered to stay to keep him company while he's, uh, sick," he explained. He had no idea what else to say to avoid telling her about Eliott's condition when he probably wouldn't appreciate everyone knowing. 

"He yelled at you until you were crying because you offered to stay to keep him company? Isn't that a bit harsh?" Imane stated, eyebrows narrowing further. 

"It's not his fault I can't handle people shouting. And it just startled me," he replied, immediately coming to Eliott's defense, "He wasn't, you know, like my dad. He was just in a bad mood."

"Are you sure? Because you look like you're about to faint," she said, jokingly feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. 

Lucas pushed her hand away, rolling his eyes. "I'm _f_ _ine_ , Imane. What's with you being all motherly all of a sudden, anyway?" Lucas teased, poking her in the side. She squirmed away, slapping his wrist. 

"I'm always the mum friend," she remarked simply, shrugging, "And besides. We're friends, dumbass. Of course I worry about you."

Lucas gasped, slapping his hand to his chest. "Who replaced the real Imane? You're actually admitting that we're _friends?_ And that you _worry_ about me?" he exclaimed, feigning horror. Imane shoved him away by his face, scoffing. "You worry about me, Mother Imane."

"You're a mess constantly, of course I do. Especially when you arrive at school with unexplained injuries—" She lifted his still bandaged hand. "—or looking like a kicked puppy. It's what I do." She shrugged, picking up her pencil as their teacher finally arrived, greeting the class. "And don't you dare call me Mother, Lallemant," she added, elbowing his side.

"What would you prefer?" 

"Fuck off." 

Lucas snorted, finally unpacking his bag. "You love me," he said, flicking her shoulder.

"Unfortunately, yes." 

◇

Lucas took the long way home that afternoon, telling Manon to go ahead while he walked around a few extra blocks. He knew he was going to have to talk to Eliott when he got home and while he was hopeful that it would go well, he was still terrified. What if Eliott didn't want to talk? What if he had overstepped his boundaries too much and Eliott wanted nothing to do with him? What if Eliott had gone home instead of facing him? What if what if what if. 

Finally, at almost 18h, Lucas unlocked the door to the flat, stepping inside. Mika and Lisa were sitting on the couch together playing some card game while Manon sat at the dinner table with her homework. Eliott was sitting across from her watching her work, tapping his fingers on his knee idly. When he entered, all four heads looked up towards the sound.

Eliott was immediately on his feet, eyes wide and shocked. Lucas was starting to see the raccoon vibe. He sent Eliott a small smile and Eliott made his way over, looking extra tall dressed in Lucas' too small clothes. 

"My room?" Lucas asked, jutting his chin towards the hallway. Eliott nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. Lucas caught Manon's eye and she gave him an encouraging smile. They started down the hallway in a single file, floorboards creaking under their socked feet. 

Lucas shut the door behind them and Eliott sat down on the—surprisingly made—bed, chewing on his lower lip. Lucas leaned against his bedroom wall just across from Eliott, fixing the hem of his shirt just for a distraction. The air in the room was heavy with tension, clouding the room in a layer of awkwardness that Lucas couldn't find his way out of. 

"How was your day?" Lucas asked, grasping for a semblance of normality. He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head. 

Eliott shrugged, keeping his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. "Quiet. Boring. I slept most of the day and didn't get up until about 14:30." He sniffed, distractedly scratching one of his cheeks. "Can we just get this over with?" His voice came out several octaves higher than usual and if Lucas was right, he sounded _petrified_. 

"Get what over with? Today was just an off day, okay? It doesn't matter anymore. Poof, gone," Lucas insisted, splaying his hands wide in front of him as he said the last sentence.

"Yes it does matter, Lucas," Eliott snapped, standing up. Lucas instinctively pressed against the wall for a split second, eyes bulging. Eliott took a deep breath, scrubbing his hand over his face. "See? I _know_ I hurt you this morning. I was an asshole and while I still don't know the backstory, I know you don't like loud noises. I shouldn't have yelled at you." 

"It's okay. It's over now. I'm fine now," Lucas insisted, standing closer to reach for Eliott's chin only to have his hand pushed away.

Eliott shut his eyes, tilting his head back as he steeled himself. "But it'll happen again! I'll get irrational and irritable and you won't want to be around me anymore," he babbled, gesturing wildly to articulate his point. He dropped his hands in defeat, barely whispering, "I don't want to hurt you anymore, Lucas." 

"You _won't_ , Eliott. You won't," Lucas pleaded, shaking his head and cupping Eliott's cheeks. This time, Eliott let him. "And have you met me? I'm the most irrational and grumpy person to walk this earth and I'm not even bipolar. If anything, it's you who's going to get sick of me."

"That's not the same." 

"Yes it is. We're going to get on each other's nerves, we'll fight, we'll go into huffs and ignore each other. I'll be slamming doors and you'll be walking out and it'll be a mess. I know that will probably happen sometimes," Lucas rambled, resting his forehead against Eliott's, nuzzling their noses together. "But the thing is, I don't care about all that. I don't care if you sometimes spend days or weeks ignoring me or yelling at me or sleeping. I don't care if I'm having to talk you down from a manic episode or having to find you all over the city. _I don't care._  

"I couldn't care less so long as I still have you, okay? We can take this step by step, day by day. Minute by minute if we have to." Lucas tilted Eliott's chin up, forcing him to look into his eyes. Lucas saw a whole storm of emotions brewing in those crystal blue eyes. "As long as you'll let me have you, I'll be here. I'm gonna always be here annoying you to the ends of the earth, okay? I'm not going anywhere." 

Eliott smiled, eyes brimmed with tears. He leaned up, closing the last centimetres between their lips, kissing Lucas tenderly, oh so soft and delicate. He pulled Lucas over onto his lap sideways, pecking his lips again and again and again until Lucas' lips were red and swollen. 

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I should have stopped as soon as you looked that frightened," Eliott whispered against his lips, rubbing his thumb over Lucas' shoulder blades. 

"My dad used to scream and yell all the time when I was growing up. That's why shouting scares me," Lucas blurted, "He would yell for hours on end, throwing things at the walls and screaming at my mother until we were both crying. She didn't handle it well, naturally, and so she's been in and out of hospital for the last few years for schizophrenia." Lucas toyed with the collar of the shirt Eliott was wearing, unable to keep still as words flooded out of his mouth like a broken dam releasing its water.

Eliott huffed, leaning against him and pulling him into the crook of his neck. There was that usual Eliott smell. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. Please tell me if I'm being too loud for you to handle. I can't promise I won't forget on my bad days, but I'll try. For you." Eliott cradled Lucas' head in his arms, talking directly into his ear. It sent a whole shiver through Lucas.

Lucas agreed, nodding up and down. "Then you have to tell me if I'm overstepping your boundaries in any way. I'd much rather you told me you needed some space than for you to get sick of my presence and leave." Lucas proposed as well, pulling his head out of Eliott's shoulder to look him in the eye.

"Again, I'll try. I tend to forget these things when I'm having an episode," Eliott replied, holding onto Lucas' shoulders, "I sometimes don't take my medications either because I feel good and then I get right back to square one. And then I'll end up hurting you again." 

Lucas poked Eliott's nose, shaking his head and getting to his feet. "We've been over this. I don't care about that stuff. We're probably both going to hurt each other accidentally a lot. We're both our own kind of mess. But we'll make it work, yeah?" Lucas pecked Eliott's lips chastely, leaning over the bed. "We're both a huge messy pile of trauma and regrets, but we can be a mess together. We have to at least try." 

"Come here. I need a cuddle after a whole day missing you and worrying about you hating me," Eliott said, making grabby hands for Lucas. Lucas giggled and let Eliott pull him into a hug, falling back onto the bed and scooting backwards until he was lying with his head on the pillow and Lucas lying on top of him. Lucas craned his neck to press a quick kiss to his cheek, blinking up at Eliott. "God, you're so beautiful," Eliott breathed, bending down for a proper kiss, supporting the back of Lucas' head.

And in that moment, wrapped up in Eliott, breathing in his warm scent, Lucas felt on top of the world. 


	20. A fresh start

Lucas woke the next morning to the familiar sound of birds chirping outside his window and Mika and Lisa arguing in the kitchen. It was a usual morning of light filtering in through the curtains and right into his eyes and cars passing by under the window. However, this time, Lucas also woke up to the unfamiliar, yet entirely welcome, feeling of Eliott's back pressed against his, arms comfortably heavy where they hugged him to his chest in his sleep. 

Lucas rolled over, barely a centimetre from Eliott. In his sleeping state, he looked impossibly beautiful, completely void of tension or anger or sadness. He was calmer than Lucas ever saw him awake, chest rising and falling peacefully, mouth ever so slightly open. The early morning glow jutted across the right side of his face, down between his eyebrows and over the bridge of his nose and over his left cheek, illuminating his features in a thin stripe of pale yellow.

His breath kinda stank, though. 

Bored of waiting, Lucas gently poked Eliott's cheek a few times, trying to wake him up. He whispered his name and shook his shoulder, trying in vain to get the sleeping beauty awake. _Sleeping Beauty_ Lucas thought. In a last ditch effort, Lucas pressed a series of small pecks all over his face, kissing his eyes and his cheeks and his nose and his forehead. Eliott scrunched his face up, pulling away a few centimetres. 

Finally, he peeled his eyes open, yawning audibly and stretching his arm over his head. "Morning," he whispered, voice slightly hoarse with sleep. He smacked his lips together, rolling away from Lucas to stretch further. "How'd you sleep?" he asked through another yawn. "Better with you here," Lucas replied casually, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from Eliott's face. "You?"

"Same here." "I'm glad we talked yesterday," Lucas said, glancing down at Eliott's fingers, which were meticulously trying to pull Lucas' shirt off. He rolled his eyes, pulling his shirt off with ease and throwing it off the bed. 

"Me too," Eliott breathed, trailing his hands up and down Lucas' back, weaving a trail of fire across his skin. "You know that thing you told me about your mother being in and out of hospital?" 

Lucas nodded, nudging their noses together, already a habit. "Leo told me. About her being in and out of hospital a lot," Lucas admitted, biting his lip as he awaited a response. "Really? When?" 

"The other day when I went to meet up with him. He said you guys live alone because of that," he replied, brushing his hand up and down Eliott's waist and over his shoulder blades in a comforting gesture.

Eliott glanced to the side, clenching his jaw. "I was going to tell you that eventually…" he murmured, keeping his eyes elsewhere. 

Lucas pushed Eliott's chin to look him in the eyes, squeezing his cheeks with his fingers and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. "I know you were. There's no pressure for you to tell me everything right now, okay?" Eliott nodded, screwing his eyes shut and then looking heavenward. Lucas could tell he was fighting back tears. 

"That wasn't what I was going to tell you, actually." Eliott added, a flush creeping up his face. Lucas nodded encouragingly, one of the corners of his mouth quirking up. "What I was gonna say is that…" He wetted his lips, exhaling. "I've also spent time in and out of hospitals. I was there again last week. That's how I got into drawing. There wasn't much else to do so it kept me occupied."

He inhaled sharply, voice breaking. "I spent almost two months in hospital last year and by the time I got back, everyone knew about… me. Most people treated me differently and even made fun of me," he explained, rolling onto his back and looking up at the ceiling, "It got so bad I tried to… I tried taking my own life and so my parents decided we had to move. A fresh start." He turned his head, eyes glossy as he peered at Lucas. "So that's why Leo and I started here in our last year." His voice broke.

Lucas huffed, shaking his head and screwing his eyes shut. He could feel his heart cracking with every word that came out of Eliott's lips, finally shattering on his voice crack. He could hardly believe his ears. Cupping one of Eliott's cheeks and running his thumb over the soft skin over his cheekbone, Lucas leaned in to press their lips together. "I'm sorry," he whispered against his mouth. 

Eliott sighed into the kiss, covering Lucas' hand with his own. "Don't be. I got you, didn't I?" Lucas pulled back to make eye contact, blue meeting blue, horizon meeting the summer sky. He rolled his eyes, smiling into another kiss. 

"You bet your ass I got you." 

◇

Eliott went to school for the first time that morning, walking into the school gates with Lucas' hand in a bone crushing grip. Lucas let him, aware of how scared he must have been now that the others knew. 

When they got into the courtyard, Yann, Arthur and Basile were standing in their usual spot, accompanied by none other than Imane. As Lucas and Eliott neared, grins spread onto all four faces, a chorus of hellos following suit. Eliott waved sheepishly, face crimson and a tiny smile in the corner of his lips. Lucas squeezed his hand, grinning at their friends. 

"Welcome back, Eli!" Arthur exclaimed, tugging Eliott into a hug, slapping his back. He winked at Lucas over Eliott's shoulder, out of view from Eliott. 

Basile raised his hands in the air for a double high five and when Eliott actually obliged, he shrieked, looking smug at the others. Arthur and Yann groaned their complaints at Eliott, pushing Basile away. Imane looked on, smirking at their idiocy. She caught Lucas' eye as Lucas rolled his eyes at their friends, a knowing glint in her gaze as she looked at him and Eliott together. 

"Give the guy some air, it's not like he came back from the war!" Imane called, crossing her arms and staring the boys down. 

"Come on, Imane, can't we miss a friend?" Yann asked, throwing his arm around her shoulders, poking the tip of her nose. She slapped his hand away, glaring his way. He instantly crumbled under her gaze, removing his arm and steppin away. 

Eliott's whole face was flushed a vibrant scarlet, hiding his face in Lucas' shoulder. "You guys are too nice. Thank you," he said, breaking away from Lucas and smiling gratefully at the others.

"No problem. You complete our group," Yann replied simply, shrugging. Basile and Arthur nodded vigorously, Arthur resting his chin on Yann's shoulder, eyes wide and awestruck.

Lucas hugged Eliott from behind, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his shoulder. Imane beamed, giving Eliott a fist bump, an odd sort of pride glowing in her dark eyes. "Woah, did you guys know each other? I didn't think you had any classes together," Arthur commented, head shooting back and forth at Eliott and Imane. 

Eliott nodded faintly, eyes flicking momentarily to the floor. "We don't. I used to be friends with her brother Idriss," he replied, a sudden sad lilt to his voice, "We sorta lost touch after I came here. Though that was my own doing." Lucas tightened his grip on Eliott's waist, kissing the back of his neck. Eliott leaned into the touch, squeezing Lucas' arms. 

"God, you guys are disgusting. You make me and Basile look so sad in comparison," Arthur teased, winking. Lucas rolled his eyes, sticking his middle finger up. 

"I think just you, dude. I'm not single," Basile replied nonchalantly. The bell for class chimed over the courtyard and he started to step backwards towards the building.

"What? Since when?!" Arthur hollered, marching after him. 

Basile snorted. "Since like August. Me and Daphné," he replied. 

"YOU AND DAPHNÉ HAVE BEEN DATING FOR THREE MONTHS AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" Arthur shrieked. He turned to Imane. "Did you know?!" he asked accusingly, pointing at her. She raised her hands in defense. "Basile, come back!" Arthur took off at a run as Basile jogged towards the school, still shouting his name. 

Yann shook his head, following them over the courtyard. "See you in math!" Imane said, turning and disappearing inside the throng of people. 

"What the fuck are my friends?" Lucas asked, covering his face with his hands. Eliott's eyes scrunched together and he shook his head, beaming as he pulled Lucas into a quick kiss before running into the school with the others. 

Lucas could only watch, steps light, heart floating higher than all the buildings of Paris. Shaking his head, he made his way inside. 

◇

Later on at break, Lucas was walking with Arthur after Biology when they came across Eliott and Leo together. They were huddled at the end of the hall, voices low and faces serious. Lucas and Arthur exchanged glances and by the time they were halfway towards the twins, they were hugging before parting ways. Lucas caught Leo's eye as he left and the other boy gave him a soft smile, nodding his head in greeting and disappearing around a corner.

Eliott glanced over at Lucas and Arthur as he turned from his brother, a wide, ecstatic smile melting his features. "Hey!" he chimed, coming closer and giving Arthur a high five. He wrapped his arm around Lucas' shoulders, whispering in his ear, "Hi, baby." He pecked Lucas' temple, eyes crinkling with his grin. Lucas' insides seemed to melt at the words leaving Eliott's mouth and he had to put extra effort into not crumbling to the floor.

"You guys are adorable. It's disgusting," Arthur groaned, ruffling both of their hair, "Can we just get to the foyer?" Lucas and Eliott nodded and the trio made their way towards lunch. 

"What were you and Leo talking about?" Lucas asked Eliott in a whisper, holding onto the hand wrapped around his shoulder as they walked down the hall. 

Eliott shrugged, turning a corner. "We haven't seen each other since my episode, so he was just asking me how I'm doing," he explained. Lucas nodded thoughtfully, looking up as they reached the foyer. 

A few minutes later, the boys were all crammed into one of the couches in the foyer while the girls were sitting at the table nearby. Yann was sitting on one of the armrests, leaned over to chat with Emma at the table while Arthur sat hugging his knees and Basile was bickering about something with Daphné, as usual, while Manon and Imane worked on homework at the table. Eliott was curled up like a cat, using Lucas' lap as a pillow, allowing him to comb his fingers through his jet black hair.

"You okay?" Lucas asked, leaning over to peer at Eliott upside down. He swept a strand out of his eyes, fond smile peeking in the corner of his lips. 

Eliott nodded, eyes shut and smiling serenely. "I'm okay. Just enjoying the atmosphere," he replied, voice soft and a little scratchy from not talking. He opened his eyes, which glinted with mirth, and puckered his lips, asking for a kiss.

Lucas obliged, leaning down and turning his head a little to kiss him daintily, chastely, grinning into it. He felt one of Eliott's hands coming up to cup his cheek, thumb swiping over his cheekbone. "Your legs are comfortable," Eliott breathed against his lips, reluctant to pull apart for even a millisecond. 

"My _legs_ are comfortable?" 

Eliott nodded. "Of course."

Lucas snorted, shaking his head, forehead rubbing against Eliott's. "You're such a weird guy," he laughed, nudging their noses together and kissing him once again. Lucas sat up, glancing around at their other friends. Yann was looking his way, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Lucas stuck his middle finger up at him, smirking. 

Eliott reached up, tilting Lucas' chin down to look at him again. Lucas arched one of his eyebrows. "Maybe. But I'm _yours._ " He giggled, eyes

"Yeah. Yeah you are." 


	21. All the minutes in the world

After break, Lucas had maths with Leo, who was already there at the table when Lucas arrived, typing something on his phone. He looked up as Lucas wandered over, grinning and sliding his phone into his back pocket. 

"Hey, Lu, how are you?" he greeted, fist bumping Lucas as he sat down. 

"Uhh, I'm good. I saw you talking to Eliott earlier," he replied, dropping his bag on the desk and opening it up.

"Yeah, just checking in after the last few days," he said, "How are things going with you guys now?" He leaned his elbow on the table between them, using his hand as a chin rest.

Lucas shrugged, slipping his bag onto the floor at his feet. "Pretty good. We had a bit of an argument yesterday, but we talked it over last night," he explained. "He's still pretty tired from his episode, I think, but we're taking it step by step, you know?" 

"I'm glad you guys have had the chance to talk about it. He doesn't find that stuff easy." Leo put his hand on Licas' shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You guys will be okay. It's not always easy, but it's already obvious you're both willing to put all the effort into it and I think it shows how good you are for each other."

A pink flush crept up Lucas' face and he knocked their shoulders together. "Look at you getting cheesy about your brother again. How sweet," he teased, just barely dodging out of the way of Leo's elbow. Their laughter fizzled away as the teacher entered the room and Lucas dropped his voice, growing serious. "But really, thanks." 

"Right back at you, buddy," Leo joked, plastering on a bright, cheesy smile. Lucas rolled his eyes, pulling the lid off of his pen to start writing

A few minutes later, while supposed to be going over their homework, a sudden memory floated into Lucas' head, gnawing at his thoughts and keeping him from concentrating on anything else. He put his pen down on the desk and turned back to Leo again. "I just thought of something…" he began, getting Leo's attention, "Remember a few weeks ago when you got in a fight? What was that about?" 

Leo put his pencil down as well, chewing on his lower lip. "Charles was coming home with Eliott and I and we ran into some guys from our old school," he explained, voice low, "They knew about Eliott being bipolar and were making fun of him and I couldn't help it. I just punched one of them in the face. Charles got hit in the face by one of them when he tried to help me, but Eliott stormed away and refused to speak to me for hours." 

"Why?" 

Leo shrugged, glancing up to see if their teacher was watching. "I think he was embarrassed. He said he doesn't need me fighting people for him."

"Oh." Lucas cleared his throat. "I probably would have done similar." He lifted his hand, which was only just starting to heal, still badly scuffed and bruised.

"I guess we're both just idiots when it comes to Eliott. Or too protective for our own good."

"Probably." 

They fell into silence after that, shushed by another classmate. They exchanged one last grin before turning to work for the rest of the lesson. 

◇

Pale light flooded in through the half open curtains, the early morning sun glaring into the bedroom like a watching eye. Lucas scrunched his face up, turning his face away from the window and pressing his face into his pillow. He felt Eliott's stubbly chin rubbing against his bare shoulder blade, breath hot against his skin. One of Eliott's fingers was tracing small, intricate patterns into his back, giving Lucas goosebumps.

"You're awake," Lucas grunted, turning his head to the side so he could peer back at Eliott over his shoulder. A yawn escaped his mouth and he reached up to rub the sleep from his eyes. 

Eliott lifted his chin from digging into Lucas' back, scooting to kiss him on the cheek. "I am," he whispered back, gently manhandling Lucas and rolling him around to face him. His hand gripped Lucas' waist and he kissed Lucas properly, tongue and all, pulling him tight against his chest. "Morning, darling," he breathed into Lucas' mouth, hold tightening on his waist. 

Lucas huffed, pulling out of the kiss, cheeks bright scarlet. "Don't call me that," he whined, muffled as he stuck his face in the crook of Eliott's neck. "Why not?" Eliott asked, kissing his nose, his cheeks, his forehead. "Is it too _weird_ for you?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"It's cheesy and it makes me feel all tingly. I can't spend the rest of my life blushing." 

Eliott cupped his face, kissing the tip of his nose again. "The rest of your life, huh?" he teased, smirking devilishly. 

Lucas slapped his shoulder, sputtering, cheeks sweltering hot. "You know what I mean," he grumbled, pouting. 

"I think you were right the first time." He grinned, kissing Lucas intently, teeth clashing and tongues touching. 

They melted easily into each other, hands grabbing here and fingers dragging there, a tangle of skin on skin. The covers were stifling and the light was blinding but they simply fueled the fire. It was give and take, soft and nurturing and careful. Lucas was alighted from inside out, head spinning from the smoke and Eliott was a match and a fuse. Lucas kissed along Eliott's chest and Eliott tugged his hair and he crawled back up to meet his lips once more. 

Eliott was now half sitting up in bed while Lucas rested his head on his chest, head rising and falling with his breath and listening to the soft thrum of his heartbeat in his ears. He watched Eliott toying with his hand, running his fingers along the rough skin of his knuckles and lightly prodding the yellowy-brown blotches over his fingers, an obscene fireworks display over skin. Lucas glanced up and Eliott's eyebrows were knitted together, lip between his teeth. He blinked, allowing Eliott to lift his hand, kissing every individual digit, achingly gentle and soft.

"What are you doing?"

"Doing what I should have done sooner." 

"Do what? Kiss my fingers?" 

Eliott shook his head, eyes intense and burning with _something_. "No. Taken care of you." He kissed Lucas' hand again and then bent his head, brushing his hair aside and kissing his forehead. 

"It's okay." 

"No it isn't. I wasn't there for you," he said bitterly, voice pulled high and taut, "I was too busy feeling sorry for myself in a hospital." His eyes turned to glass, a faint pink tinge in the whites of his eyes.

Lucas sat up, resting on one of his elbows. He shook his head and scooted up so he could hover over Eliott. "Do you know _why_ it's okay?" he asked. Eliott shook his head. "It's okay because we have plenty of time to take care of each other. We have all the minutes in the world for that, yeah?" Eliott dove up for another kiss, pushing his shoulder onto the bed, digging into the mattress. 

Lucas tugged him close by the small of his back, leaning his head up to meet his lips. Eliott pulled back from the kiss, searching all over his face, blue eyes twinkling. "Fuck, I love you so much," he blurted, hands clutching Lucas' cheeks. 

Heart leaping, Lucas inhaled sharply, eyes bulging. "W-what did you say?" he clarified, stunned into the mattress. 

When he replied, Eliott's voice was barely above a whisper. "I said I love you," he repeated, "And I know I'm probably moving too fast, but it's true. I can't and I won't take it back, but you don't have to say anything back." Eliott didn't expect anything from Lucas. A declaration, that was all it was. An announcement. He didn't need anything in return but for Lucas to know. 

"I love you, too," Lucas breathed, blinking back tears. Eliott released a sigh of relief, eyes crinkling in the corners, kissing him again and again.

If they were a little late that morning because Lucas refused to get up after his alarm, well, no one was to know. 

◇

As per usual now, Lucas and Eliott entered the schoolyard hand in hand, walking over to Yann and Arthur. Arthur was talking excitedly about something, hands flailing and eyes bright. They stopped next to Arthur, Lucas giving him a curious look.  "Arthur's just excited because there's a party on Friday," Yann explained, leaning in towards Lucas and Eliott.

_"And_ I got invited by Marie. You know her, she's the hot girl we had Chemistry with last year," Arthur added, grinning with pride. Upon Lucas' confused look, he gasped. "Come on, you _must_ remember her! She had the long blonde hair and always had a low cut shirt."

Lucas tried wracking his brains for a semblance of a memory of said girl, but he couldn't think of anything. The only girls he knew in his Chemistry last year were Alexia and Imane.

Eliott wrapped his arm around Lucas' shoulders. "I don't think Lucas will remember her, to be honest," he joked, turning to Lucas, "Not exactly your type, is she?" Lucas rolled his eyes and Eliott giggled, kissing Lucas' temple. 

"Yeah, I think she has one too many X chromosomes for me to notice her," Lucas replied, making the other three laugh.

Basile arrived not 30 seconds later, immediately launching into a story about a Facetime call with Daphné the night before. Needless to say, Lucas zoned out of that conversation pretty quickly, instead turning to Eliott to ask, "What do you think? Up for a party this weekend?"

Eliott shrugged, taking a few steps from the rest of the group to talk more privately. "I don't know, to be honest. I'm still getting over last week, so I might not be up for a huge party," he said, frowning, "I was thinking of going home for a few days actually. My dad is supposed to be home and I didn't really see him much in hospital." 

"That should be good seeing your dad," Lucas replied, "How's your mum doing?" 

"The same, I think. I messaged her last night and she said she felt a bit better yesterday, but this morning she was sick," he explained, eyes falling to the floor in what Lucas now knew meant he felt particularly emotional. Lucas slipped his hand into Eliott's, squeezing. "How's your mum, by the way? Have you spoken to her lately?" 

"Yeah. I, uh, I actually was out to dinner for her birthday the other day when… you know."

Eliott's face fell. "Seriously?" Lucas nodded, biting his lip. "And you still came? Even though it was her birthday and you hadn't seen her in _months?_ " 

"Of course. I can make it up to her," Lucas insisted, squeezing Eliott's hand again, "But if I had lost you that night, I don't—I don't know what I would have done with myself." He looked at his feet idly, feeling he had shared too much.

Eliott considered his words for a moment, sighing heavily. "I'm not going anywhere, Lucas. You're not alone either." He leaned over to kiss him shortly, only pulling away when the school bell rang. "Shit, I've got class on the other side of the building!" He exclaimed, letting go of Lucas finally. 

"You better hurry then," Arthur commented.

"I'll see you at lunch." He kissed Lucas quickly again. "I love you," he added, winking and pecking him another time.

"Love you too," Lucas murmured, still stunned by those words. 

Once Eliott was jogging away, the other boys turned on Lucas. "Was that the L word I just heard there?" Arthur asked, eyes wide, starting towards the school. 

"Yeah?" 

Yann slapped him on the back as Basile and Arthur shrieked. "Well, we're happy for you, man. You guys are really getting serious," Yann said, elbowing him in the side. 

"Alright alright, I get it. I was sad and annoying and now I'm not." 

"No, now you're _just_ annoying," Arthur teased. Lucas scoffed, punching Arthur in the crotch and sprinting away towards class. "See what I mean?!" Arthur shouted, hobbling after him. 

Lucas rolled his eyes, flipping Arthur off over his shoulder and joining the crowded hallway. He couldn't help but hope things stayed like that forever.

◇

Lucas was standing alone in the girl Marie's house, staring out of the window overlooking the back garden and holding loosely onto a bottle of beer. He could see Yann and the first year girl he liked sitting together on a bench swing, laughing and talking with their heads close together. Meanwhile, Basile and Daphné were making out feverishly against a tree and Arthur was nowhere to be seen. Lucas smiled, taking a sip of beer as he continued watching his friends socialise. Even a few weeks ago, he would have felt suffocated by the isolation, standing alone in the hallway with only the heavy thrum of the speakers downstairs to keep him company. But now he embraced it, allowing himself a moment of relative peace. 

As he started to bring his glass up to his lips for another gulp of room temperature beer, he felt a hand falling onto his shoulder. Lucas startled, turning towards the source and making eye contact with a pair of grey-green eyes. A smile peeled over his face. "Hey, Leo. What's up?" 

Leo grinned, slinging his arm over Lucas' shoulders. "Just coming to say hello. How are you?" he replied nonchalantly. "I'm good. I just wish Eliott could be here as well, but I get him not wanting to come to a party so soon." 

Leo nodded, swallowing down a vibrant blue drink Lucas didn't recognise. "You know, you're really great. Seriously." He ruffled Lucas' hair. "Eliott has dated a fair few people before, but never quite as amazing as you. You give him the space he needs without question and I can see how you're trying. I appreciate how happy you make him." 

Lucas' face flushed and he glanced at the carpet. "Seriously?" 

"Yeah, man. He's never spoken about someone like he does with you. You've got my brother wrapped around your tiny finger."

Lucas scoffed, shoving Leo away, pouting. "I am _not_  tiny," he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Leo snorted. "Yeah and I'm the next Pope," Leo teased, earning yet another shove from his friend. "You're tiny, Lucas, just accept it."

They fell into amicable silence after that, drinking their respective drinks and people watching out the window. Imane was talking to the boy Lucas recognised from a few weeks ago, Sofiane, fidgeting nervously with her grey hijab and smiling up at the curly-haired boy. (Lucas made a mental note to tease her about it later.) Basile and Daphné were gone now, though Yann continued to chat with the first year. The yard was lit dimly by multicoloured fairy lights, luminating the dark green grass and the stone patio in a blur of faint hues. 

"This might sound weird, but I used to have a crush on you," Lucas admitted, eyes still glued to the garden. His cheeks were painted a faint rosey pink. 

"Oh? Before you liked Eliott?" Leo asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking in amused interest. 

Lucas shook his head. "Nope. I actually had a crush on both of you. It was a disaster."

Leo spat his drink everywhere as he burst out laughing, spraying blue liquid onto the window, carpet and their clothes. "So you're one of those types then? A twin kink, as one may say." 

Lucas gasped, slapping Leo's chest. "Oh fuck off. I got over you pretty easily, thank you very much," he insisted, rolling his eyes. He took a drink of his beer, flipping Leo off. 

"I can't blame you. You guys are much better together." 

Lucas' phone vibrated in his back pocket and he swiftly pulled it out, muttering an apology under his breath. It was a message from Eliott. Lucas unlocked his phone and opened up his messages to find another drawing. For a moment, his heart thudded with the vivid memory of the last time he received one of them. However, the drawing was just a simple one. A raccoon stood with his back to Lucas, facing towards a grinning hedgehog. 

Beneath that, Eliott had written _Turn around_.

Lucas spun around, another grin filling his face when he found Eliott standing in front of him wearing a bright smile and an olive green turtle neck under a leather jacket. Lucas threw his arms around Eliott, dragging him into a kiss of bumping teeth and alcohol. When they pulled apart, Lucas whispered, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming."

Eliott kissed him quickly and chastely, still beaming. "I thought I owed you some more minutes. I missed you," he replied, wrapping his arms around Lucas' neck. 

"Hello to you too, by the way," Leo teased, scowling and feigning annoyance. Lucas stepped away, allowing the two brothers to hug each other. "So glad I'm important to you." 

Eliott shook his head, a faint laugh falling from his mouth as he stepped away from his brother and hugged Lucas from behind. Lucas smiled, leaning back against him and holding onto his hands. Eliott rested his chin on top of his brown hair, squeezing him tight. "Of course, brother dearest, how could I forget you," Eliott said, rocking side to side as he held Lucas in his arms. "You trying to steal my boyfriend?" he added, plucking the bottle of beer from Lucas and taking a swig. 

"Of course not. I wouldn't dream of it," Leo replied. Lucas took back his drink. "Unlike you and your boyfriend's beer." 

"Fuck off, I'm thirsty," Eliott whined. 

Their banter was interrupted a moment later by the arrival of a tall black guy who was smiling sheepishly at Leo. The other boy's face lit up as he saw him, turning away from Lucas and Eliott. "Hey, Andre. Here to save me from these two?" he gestured to the still hugging couple. Andre shrugged, winking. "See you love birds later." And with that, Leo took Andre's hand and dragged him away down the hallway. 

"Well that was unexpected," Lucas joked, stepping out of Eliott's embrace to turn around and face him. He slung his arms over his shoulders, nuzzling their noses together. "So what was it you were saying about owing me some minutes?" he asked in a breath, "Any idea how to repay me?"

Eliott arched his eyebrows, smirking. "I've definitely got a few you might like…" he insinuated, beginning to walk backwards, eyes alight with passion. 

"Whatever you decide, I'm down for it." 

And as Lucas followed Eliott down the street towards the bus stop, fingers laced together and shoes slapping the pavement and dead leaves, Lucas knew it was true. He knew that whatever Eliott wanted, whatever he did, Lucas would follow him to the end of the earth without question. Whatever became of them was written in the stars twinkling overhead, falling rain and flickering streetlamps. Whatever became of them, Lucas knew it was together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of Whatever We Become! Uhh, I hope you guys enjoyed it and that you liked the ending. Don't worry though, I have some other fics up my sleeve that you guys might like... ;) 
> 
> But until then, bye! 
> 
> (Again, please come say hi on tumblr which is now @lulu-lallemant)


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